Good morning,

i have suffered with sexual attraction to men ever since I was 14 years old.

when I was 28 I  actually had sex with a friend of mine.

Welcome to this amazing site
first my heart goes out to you and all others who suffer from this silent horrible struggle
​second there are a lot of resources here on this site that deal with same sex attraction (ssa)
third there is a special forum for people who have this problem.

it is a great start to open up here on GYE
all the best,  

Lubavitcher yungerman wrote on 25 Sep 2017 15:06:

I too am sexually attracted to my own gender. It sounds like there's some shame there. I understand that.

Welcome!  You are not alone in this struggle.  There are others here with similar experiences.  Keep posting.

The mods are probably going to delete the post that I'm referring to, but I feel the need to share something about it. Someone made a hateful remark about my sexuality on this forum. Details aren't necessary. Moving on from the remark itself, he's obviously a very sick person and I truly wish that he finds his Higher Power, I actually feel a bit validated by it. I was clearly singled out by this person as someone who has homosexual attractions. I know that God gave them to me for a reason, and one reason that I believe is because I can be of service to others with similar situations and I can be an example of positive recovery for all. Maybe I can help people, even those who don't have homosexual attractions. If I can create a presence that results in someone spouting forth such a negative reaction, then I hope my presence can do same for a positive reaction. See, if I didn't make myself known on this forum and I wasn't so open about my attractions, then I wouldn't be singled out. I'm happy that I have a presence on this forum, even when I'm not as active, ironically. I'm grateful to my Higher Power for releasing me from shame and giving me the ability to be open about my sexuality. I hope that I can be there for other people and help them with their recovery.

Shlomo24 wrote on 28 Nov 2017 07:58:

And we thank you for that.

Shlomo24 wrote on 28 Nov 2017 07:58:

You have helped me - tremendously. In the past, but especially with this post.

Shlomo24 wrote on 28 Nov 2017 07:58:

Shlomo, you have been a source of chizuk and inspiration for me among many others. Your courage in being transparent about your challenges, the steps you have taken to overcome them, and your life in general has been a tremendous boost for all of us. Obviously the individual who is attacking you is one who needs our prayers. It is sad to see how some people are just not ready for recovery so they try to bring down others. Or maybe he just has a really hard life. I took the liberty of chatting with him about this (By the way this is his 4th username already - he keeps asking me to learn a specific Meiri with him so i know it's the same fellow.)

I saw him on the private chat so i confronted him about his inexcusable behavior towards you, and being that the chats are monitored, i assume i am permitted to copy the ":conversation" and paste it here. The moderators may delete it. Unfortunately he uses foul language but i think there is a toeles in the oilam here seeing how (i think) one should respond to such unfortunate individuals. The chat is recorded backwards so read from the bottom up. As you can see i was zoche to be name called too!

hatzlichanaand you yourself are gay for defending a f.aggot like that7:05amMeso i guess you should leave7:04amhatzlichanabasically san francisco\7:04amhatzlichanaand sodomy7:04amhatzlichanabut this site is a den of iniquity7:04amhatzlichanaand they shouldn't allow f.aggots on this site7:04amMeAnd we dont use foul language on this site7:03amhatzlichanaask your rav if being gay is normal7:03amMeWho is your rav? Ask him if what you are doing by posting and attackingis not a terrible aveira.7:03amhatzlichanaand you're weird for defending it7:02amhatzlichanait's weird7:02amhatzlichanait's not7:02amhatzlichanadon't try to make it seem like it's normal7:02amhatzlichanaf.aggots are weird7:02amMeYou are 100% wrong. I will not spend time with someone who is trying to damage GYE or its people. I wish you a refuah shleima. You are obviously quite sick. When you are feeling better and can deal with people the way Hashem wants i will be very happy to speak, learn, chat with you7:01amhatzlichanado you want to learn this or not6:59amhatzlichananothing normal about being gay6:59amhatzlichanahe's a disgusting f.aggot6:59amhatzlichanahe's nothing of the sort6:59amMeHashem does not call a desire a toeva. He calls an action a toeva. Shlomo is a tzaddik6:59amhatzlichanaI take Hashem's words over that queer6:58amhatzlichanaHashem's words6:58amhatzlichananot my words6:58amhatzlichanaHashem calls it a toevah6:58amMewhat is the toeva if he doesnt act out?6:58amhatzlichanatoevah6:57amMehe doesnt act out sexually, so what is wrong6:57amhatzlichanahe's a gay american6:56amMenot now. i want to know why you are attacking shlomo who has helped so many of us6:56amhatzlichanado you want to learn meiri's hakdama to avos6:55amMehi6:55am

I don't know what a person has to do on this site if he's so allergic to toevah (not that I agree with what he said, just a question l'sh*tusai)

youcan wrote on 07 Dec 2017 07:36:

I think many are confused by this post. Who is it directed at - The gye SSA community?

Markz wrote on 07 Dec 2017 12:25:

He was referring to a fellow that logged in 9 times with different user names as he had been banned many times do to his vulgar and unhealthy way of communicating 
(but you knew that right)

Markz wrote on 07 Dec 2017 12:25:

I was just wondering how a person that is so "Holly" (???) that he can't tolerate anything that is in his eyes toevah, how did he get to this site? To the best of my knowledge this site is all about people that are stuck with toevah & seeking to get rid of it.

youcan wrote on 08 Dec 2017 01:16:

This man isn't exactly the most rational person. Trying to make sense of his actions is an effort in futility.

I bet this is not a Jew. I can't imagine a Jew talking like this.
(I don't know why, but he reminds me from Nazis & jihadists)

milwaukee83 wrote on 17 Dec 2017 07:38:

because it's my third language & I never learned it. Why does it matter?