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Journey of life
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A platform of recovery for Jews who find themselves struggling with addictions to pornography, masturbation or other sexual problems. Post anonymously about your struggles without fear of anyone finding out who you are. Ask questions, post answers and be inspired! Get tips and guidance from the experts who moderate this forum, as well as from fellow strugglers.

TOPIC: Journey of life 54233 Views

Re: My sorry state... 23 Feb 2018 00:55 #327329

Our Israeli Nikkium Klan
It has a thread somewhere the name says it all
my thread:guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/300426-I-will-make-it-bh" option="guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/300426-I-will-make-it-bh">I will make it b"h











very important thread: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/19180-FEEL-THE-HUGS%21%21%21" option="guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/19180-FEEL-THE-HUGS%21%21%21">FEEL THE HUGS!!!

Re: My sorry state... 23 Feb 2018 00:59 #327331

Found it click here
my thread:guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/300426-I-will-make-it-bh" option="guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/300426-I-will-make-it-bh">I will make it b"h











very important thread: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/19180-FEEL-THE-HUGS%21%21%21" option="guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/19180-FEEL-THE-HUGS%21%21%21">FEEL THE HUGS!!!

Re: My sorry state... 23 Feb 2018 02:00 #327334

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MayanHamisgaber wrote on 23 Feb 2018 00:59:
Found it click here

Reminds me of a song



Here an oink there an oink. 
Old McDonald says "Make my farm great again"
My Story---------Dov Quotes


What works for me:
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Re: My sorry state... 23 Feb 2018 02:26 #327335

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Markz wrote on 23 Feb 2018 02:00:

MayanHamisgaber wrote on 23 Feb 2018 00:59:
Found it click here

Reminds me of a song



Here an oink there an oink. 
Old McDonald says "Make my farm great again"

Drain the pigsty

Re: My sorry state... 23 Feb 2018 03:19 #327338

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HakolMilimala wrote on 22 Feb 2018 14:32:
my therapist gave me the contact information of a fellow person in recovery a few weeks ago whom I have yet to call, so he asks me why haven’t you called?
i say oh I haven’t had time
he says I think there may be more to it
and I think about it and I tell him that I feel uncomfortable calling because I’m just some kid who’s watched some porn and who said this guy has time for me.
two key thoughts there I’m not worth it and I have to appear perfect
so I thought I could share the idea of his response with you:
This is not a contest, whether you have used porn 30 times or 300 or 3000, whether you have gone to behaviors beyond porn/ real life encounters, whatever it is, we are all going through a very similar struggle in many many ways. Whether or not you label yourself as an addict, don’t worry about that right now. If you believe that being in contact with people and building a network helps you, then by all means, go for it! If you believe that you don’t need to go to SA meetings, then ok, but that doesnt mean that you can’t join a network of people that are in your boat.

This is very pertinent, thank you for sharing yet another nugget of wisdom. I do think a network of people would be helpful. I'm under the (possibly wrong) impression that joining SA is an "easy" way to build a network, because it already exists. You just drop in, and boom, you're connected to a network of like-minded people. So in that sense, SA sounds great. But if SA as a program for recovery is NOT what I need, than that whole route is off the table and I need to build the network of people from scratch. It also doesn't help that I'm in an out-of-town community.

Re: My sorry state... 23 Feb 2018 03:28 #327339

Start by texting/calling the good fellows here and you will see how quickly things develop 
you might be surprised 
(don't worry about how to start this just express an interest and they will let you know how to contact them)

good luck 
my thread:guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/300426-I-will-make-it-bh" option="guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/300426-I-will-make-it-bh">I will make it b"h











very important thread: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/19180-FEEL-THE-HUGS%21%21%21" option="guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/19180-FEEL-THE-HUGS%21%21%21">FEEL THE HUGS!!!

Re: My sorry state... 23 Feb 2018 03:42 #327340

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MayanHamisgaber wrote on 23 Feb 2018 03:28:
Start by texting/calling the good fellows here and you will see how quickly things develop 
you might be surprised 
(don't worry about how to start this just express an interest and they will let you know how to contact them)

good luck 

Yes that's exactly what I did! BH I'm happy to report that I'm building what I hope will be a solid network. Just in the last week or two I've progressed from texting/chatting to voice calls to (gasp) actually meeting someone in-person and talking openly about my struggles face-to-face for the first time in my life. It feels surreal.

If you don't remember how resistant I was to the whole talking to other people thing, just go back a few pages and remind yourself 

Re: My sorry state... 23 Feb 2018 04:54 #327348

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here a vid that explains it well about being connected people how it helps SA and other addictions   gye.vids.io/videos/7c9bd1be1915eac5f4/04-everything-we-think-we-know-about-addiction-is-wrong

Re: My sorry state... 23 Feb 2018 05:22 #327354

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danann@ wrote on 23 Feb 2018 04:54:
here a vid that explains it well about being connected people how it helps SA and other addictions   gye.vids.io/videos/7c9bd1be1915eac5f4/04-everything-we-think-we-know-about-addiction-is-wrong

thats a great video, thanks for posting it

Re: My sorry state... 25 Feb 2018 03:58 #327423

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Thanks alot to Lifebound for his articulate expression of what many of us feel...
I would suggest that perhaps this is the meaning of Chazal's instruction וקנה לך חבר...
Although i think that opening up to "real-life" friends might be more effective then anonymous ones...

Re: My sorry state... 25 Feb 2018 04:08 #327425

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OivedElokim wrote on 25 Feb 2018 03:58:
Thanks alot to Lifebound for his articulate expression of what many of us feel...
I would suggest that perhaps this is the meaning of Chazal's instruction וקנה לך חבר...
Although i think that opening up to "real-life" friends might be more effective then anonymous ones...

You're welcome I hope it was helpful. I agree with you 100%. Opening up to friends here on GYE is made way easier with the knowledge that they share your struggles, and with the element of anonymity. Much harder to develop in-person friendships with that level of connection.

Re: My sorry state... 25 Feb 2018 04:16 #327426

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especially experienced members of gye to talk over the phone or texting them, and eventually meeting them i think is best, and make them your "real life" friends to open up to, because not always (which is most cases i think) your real life friends not from gye are equipped and understanding of are situation.  hazlacha on the path hashem puts you on:) 

Re: My sorry state... 06 Mar 2018 07:58 #327784

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Been a while since my last post, I think it's time for an update

The good:
- I'm 23 days clean. That's definitely a record.
- After days and days of trying to filter my rooted/custom-ROM-flashed phone, I gave up. The filters I tried were either useless because of root, or wouldn't even install. (rooting is basically the process of getting "admin" access to your phone's kishkes. So you have full control and can modify stuff at the system level.) The only option was to wipe it, unroot it, and reinstall the factory settings. Took a few hours but I just did it tonight and now I've got Netspark up and running on my phone. Still gotta figure out how it all works but so far it seems solid.

The not-so-good:
- I'm happy to be 23 days clean but it's getting harder, not easier. In the beginning it was simple to just say no and push it off. Now I've got 3 weeks of accumulated urges bottled up. I can't help but feel the whole 90 days thing is a glorified delay tactic...somethings gonna give way sooner or later. The lust is still alive and well. I found this post in the Dov Quotes thread that describes the feeling exactly:

If you feel the pressure building until you can't take it any more - you are holding your breath. If you feel calm and serene (most of the time) and don't feel like you are about to explode - you are in recovery.

If you are holding your breath, you will eventually act out cuz you can't hold your breath forever. You will know .

...so that's worrying. I haven't felt calm and serene at all. I don't feel like I'm doing anything to address the underlying issue, whatever that is.
Last Edit: 06 Mar 2018 08:00 by lifebound.

Re: My sorry state... 06 Mar 2018 08:39 #327787

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Keep it up,there is no Navi who could tell usYOUR GONNA FALL,your building up your muscles every day ,hour, minute etc.your lust is thrashing in death throes,your accomplishing ALOT !and a lot of us are watching you and getting hope that we too can get off the ground ,hatzlacha!

לב  טהור   ברא   לי   אלקים , ורוח  נכון    חדש  בקרבי

  to all my friends who heeded my request  to be so generous and give me a negative karma  for the sake of me acquiring       
                                                . humility ,i humbly  thank you                                                                                                 

Re: My sorry state... 06 Mar 2018 12:07 #327792

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The "pressure" although intense, is imagined. It took me a long time to realize this. It comes from the false belief that i am going to eventually have to masturbate anyway. Why "fight" if anyways you are eventually going to lose? But in truth there is no actual physical NEED to ejaculate. Once a person REALLY believes that, the pressure diminishes tremendously. Secondly, 23 days is in the middle of when withdrawal hits. Your body/subconscious crave the "drug". Replace it with something kosher and healthy. For me, that was exercise. You owe it to yourself to either exercise or find some other release to get you over the next few days. You, as many before you have done, can do it with serenity. Although it is true that it is very helpful to address underlying issues, that is a process which takes time and work. Dont use the fact that "there are underlying issues that need to be resolved" as the excuse to act out. Of course start working on that, but in the meantime until you do, you most definitely can stay clean with Hashem at your side. May Hashem give you hatzlocha in both endeavors.
Feel free to contact me at michelgelner@gmail.com

My threads: Lessons Learned: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/335248-Lessons-Learned

                    My Story and G-d Bless GYE: guardyoureyes.com/forum/17-Balei-Battims-Forum/303036-My-story-and-G-d-bless-GYE
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