Your wife smashed them because she was similarly using it inappropriately?

There's a difference between me breaking a device I abused, and someone breaking a device that a second person abused.

My breaking it is ostensibly to gain freedom from porn, but is that true freedom...

My wife smashed it out of frustration with my behavior. BH she didn't do anything inappropriate.

 

the smashing gives some sort of good and repenting feeling' to say g-d i gave up!! i hate lustING 

I am new to this site. I don't even know what level I am supposed to be on. On one hand I think if I get a filter-and continuing reading the guidebook, I'll stop acting out. And based on my limited understanding-it means to stop masturbation and porn. Today I walked with true shmiras haiynim. (The handbook says to congratulate yourself-so I am). But I am alittle lost-i have the urge to masturbate, not as much to look at porn. The images/videos/stories are just to turn me on. Any suggestions?

Interesting that you posted your question on this thread

If we can act out without porn, what's there to break?

See this link which I had saved under the "Free Towing" thread

guardyoureyes.com/forum/44-Teens-Corner-%28ages-9-through-19-only%29/256605-leaving-only-pornography

Not exactly sure what you are trying to say. Cut me slack-im new here. I in no way want to masturbate. I just feel at times-that even if there is no porn-i still think about things and want to masturbate such as on shabbos. Though this is only rarely. Like really rarely. 

First welcome to gye,
Dermizinik - I know many people who masturbate without watching porn.
You need a plan in order to break free, read the handbook twice, and start using the tools.
Adjust yourself to what works best for yourself.
Don't hesitate to experiment new tools.
Best wishes in your recovery
 

Welcome to gye,

If you think all it'll take for you to stop is a filter and the handbook then do it. Hopefully you're right. If it doesn't work then come back and take it from there. You don't have much to lose.

Which filter has worked? I need something like the old K9 which blocked apps as well.

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The key is to perfect yourself and not just get blockers bec they r just temporary band aids. No matter how many filters you have set up, if you want to see porn, you will find a way. But if you are able to stop bec of you're understanding that it won't help any own, not even yourself, acting out, then you will be able to stop. I haven't worked that out totally so it's easier said then done, but that's the goal:)

If "the key is to perfect yourself" we're all in trouble.  I had to learn to accept the fact that I am not perfect in order to heal.  To accept that Hashem loves my with all my imperfections.

Ok I shouldn't have used he phrase to perfect oneself, what I meant was that you need to stop for you're own sake and not only by avoiding the confrontation, but also understanding how to beat it. It's a mashul I once heard "you need to learn to go through the door and not always try to avoid it bec one day you're going to have to go through it and if you have never learned how to go through the nisayon, then you are going to fall on you're face." Yes you should have filters and avoid the nisayon but that's only to help you not run into it until you are fully capable of taking it on-obviously that's not to say that you should ever try to take it on bec you can never trust yourself, but unless you go out to the jungle for the rest of you're life, just dealing with modern day society, you need to be able to deal with the problem
i hope this makes sense and is clear:)

It makes some sense.  I'm sorry to be so picky about wording, but the way we phrase things reveals our attitude, and a change in attitude is a big part of recovery.

So if you will allow me to nit pick just a bit more.   You talk about "understanding how to beat it".  That phrase bothers me a bit.  You see, I also wanted to "understand" and "beat it".  I learned that trying to "understand" it was just part of my trying to control it, which I cannot.  I also cannot "beat" it.  It is much stronger than me.

I learned to "let go" of my need to understand it, and instead "do" what works.  Follow others who have been successful, whether I understand or not.

I work on humbly surrendering to Hashem, rather than "beating it".

This may just sound like semantics, but I don't think that it is coincidental that people who talk about fighting, winning, and understanding are very often also struggling mightily and white knucking.  Those who talk of letting go, and humbly surrendering to a higher power are often in recovery.  I know this is somewhat of a broad generalization, and can't say it's true 100%, but I have been on this forum for a long time (abt 5 years), that's how it seems to me.

Well I defiantly surrender to u gibbor120:) yea you are correct in the fact that an addict can never beat it and just has to find strategies in how to stop, but I do believe that for people how aren't addicted, but rather have been acting out for the sake of its pleasures that it offers, they still have a chance at "beating it." The struggle can be on many different levels and each person according to where they are holding need to employ different strategies to combat their desires and lusts