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TOPIC: "breaking" free 3346 Views

"breaking" free 04 Jul 2016 03:43 #291300

  • Joegarder
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last thursday i snapped my tablet in half. i peeled back the millimeter thin glass to look at the deep world of stupidty something so small can bring but it really was just a piece of glass. i smashed most of it to dust and burned anything that could be burned. of course that night i watched porn on my ipod. and last night to. and today. so today i did the same thing to my ipod. totally obliterated. i justified having the ipod for so long but really it only was porn free since i had my tablet the minute that was gone back to the ipod. im very involved in music, and will miss being able to download any song right away. this is my first post, really looking for support
Last Edit: 04 Jul 2016 03:48 by Joegarder. Reason: wanted to

Re: 04 Jul 2016 04:35 #291302

  • Aryeh821
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Welcome 
you're journey should be with hatzlacha 
do you have any plans to be free or what ?
Soberity is a journey NOT a destination 
 

Re: 04 Jul 2016 10:23 #291306

  • doingtshuva
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Joegarder wrote on 04 Jul 2016 03:43:
last thursday i snapped my tablet in half. i peeled back the millimeter thin glass to look at the deep world of stupidty something so small can bring but it really was just a piece of glass. i smashed most of it to dust and burned anything that could be burned. of course that night i watched porn on my ipod. and last night to. and today. so today i did the same thing to my ipod. totally obliterated. i justified having the ipod for so long but really it only was porn free since i had my tablet the minute that was gone back to the ipod. im very involved in music, and will miss being able to download any song right away. this is my first post, really looking for support
 

I don't think we need to brake smash...
Rather to learn how to gain control and to use those devices properly. Very easy said.
Yes if you don't need those devices better if you don't have them. But if you need or still want them, braking them won't change how you use them.
Lust isn't available only the web or tablet. Something to take into consideration.

best wishes
 
 *  NO, It's not all or nothing, just every bit counts!
 *  I failed yesterday, and I might fail tomorrow. But just for today I'm going to give it a try.
 *  Being curios made me lust and get into trouble.

אָמַר רבי יוחנן: אֵבֶר קָטָן יֵשׁ לוֹ לָאָדָם, מַרְעִיבוֹ = שָׂבֵעַ, מַשְׂבִּיעוֹ = רָעֵב

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Re: 04 Jul 2016 12:27 #291312

  • realsimcha
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Hey, Welcome!

There are alot of healthier ways to deal with these challenges. Keep posting and keep reading. Seek out others here who have so much to offer. Read what Dov writes. You will soon see that breaking your stuff is not the answer ... although I can understand wanting to do that ... but digging deep and working on yourself and understanding ... now that's something. 

Hatzlacha

Re: 04 Jul 2016 12:31 #291314

  • cordnoy
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Welcome,

Be careful on the streets.

B'hatzlachah in recovery
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1Page 2Page 3Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin
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Re: 04 Jul 2016 12:33 #291315

  • Markz
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Joegarder wrote:
last thursday i snapped my tablet in half. i peeled back the millimeter thin glass to look at the deep world of stupidty something so small can bring but it really was just a piece of glass. i smashed most of it to dust and burned anything that could be burned. of course that night i watched porn on my ipod. and last night to. and today. so today i did the same thing to my ipod. totally obliterated. i justified having the ipod for so long but really it only was porn free since i had my tablet the minute that was gone back to the ipod. im very involved in music, and will miss being able to download any song right away. this is my first post, really looking for support

Ahem - There IS a time and place for smashing devices
לכל זמן ועת לכל חפץ
SEE HERE

Im wondering if you will continue posting, or your PC went כדרך כל הארץ
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Re: 04 Jul 2016 15:24 #291325

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lol hopefully i will its the computer in my house not mine

Re: 04 Jul 2016 15:42 #291327

  • Markz
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Do you know you can display 2 Windows side by side on one computer screen?

I suggest you tell your family you're reserving the right side for yourself, get the hatchet back out and smash all the porn megapixels to oblivion
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Re: 04 Jul 2016 22:02 #291342

  • Joegarder
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ha yeah my father asked if they should change the laptop and computer passwords cause he doesnt want them smashed

Re: break me free 04 Jul 2016 23:04 #291345

  • Markz
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Before GYE if someone would've shutdown / destroyed all my devices, I would've gone out to buy inapropriate magazines (as I used to do ;-/ before i discovered electric devices)

So, really, how much of a solution for you is all this device demolition business

FSKOT?
FancySmashyKeepOnTinkering?
 
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Re: break me free 05 Jul 2016 00:32 #291349

  • Joegarder
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well if its not so much a lasting solution for porn as it was a want to not have occasional boredom filled in by a movie or game. between the two id say it was short term effective for porn and i felt iwas ready to move beyond limiting time on it. so yeah long term its no solution unfortunatly

Re: 05 Jul 2016 00:37 #291350

  • Joegarder
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after 10 years of addiction i really wanted to do something significant immedietly. i wanted to show Hashem and myself how much i hate it. even if it doesnt help

Re: 05 Jul 2016 00:40 #291351

  • Joegarder
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yeah im just trying to find the line between a shmiras ainayim level i could work on and uphold and actual porn because right now the two are tangled up in my head to the point where movies and porn get into the same category

Re: break me free 05 Jul 2016 00:43 #291352

  • Markz
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Joegarder wrote:
well if its not so much a lasting solution for porn as it was a want to not have occasional boredom filled in by a movie or game. between the two id say it was short term effective for porn and i felt iwas ready to move beyond limiting time on it. so yeah long term its no solution unfortunatly

I don't want to call GYE a "long term solution" cos it may sound like it needs an investment of long term commitment

So I'll say this; If you're curious and willing, there's plenty of sobriety FOR TODAY to be had on gye!!

Apparently your parents / father are aware of your struggle
Do you have a coach / Rebbi that you are close to?
Oops that was a personal question, just delete it / or blow it up (... there's fireworks today in the states, yknow?  You can send one of those my way)

KEEP ON TRUCKING
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Re: 06 Jul 2016 10:27 #291422

  • mike dupont
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@joegarder
First of all, I wish you success with your new journey. I hope you will find the right path for you.

After reading this topic I can actually relate to your actions (smashing the devices); in my case it was my wife who smashed one of them.
This being said, the other are right. This is not the solution!
It's a nice start, you're making a strong statement but you need to commit.
Hopefully He will see that as your willingness to get and stay clean and help you.
As I said, you need to find YOUR way  to deal with YOUR issues (forum, therapy, SA...). 

Good luck
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