Hey simon, is it the reprecussions that you don't want or is it that regardless you don't want this to be part of your life?

[quote="SimonConfused" post=276726 date="]hi guys, i don't want to post in my old forum because no one will read it so I am posting a new post to get your attention

okay so basically 10 minutes ago i was going to go to a massage parlor to get a "massage" plus a bit more...I am really struggling with this issue. What deterred me was the money ($100/hr) dont get me wring, im a college student and I am make no money at all so this was a tough choice for me. I knew I could buy plenty of stuff for that amount of money that are valuable (sefarim, clothing, gifts, tzedakah) and yet I was really gonna go. 

You know how I stopped myself? Guess?

I masturbated...once one is done with that, he is totally shut off and not interested in women for a bit...im sure u know what i mean

SOOO, thats really messed up...I need help with this prostitute issue..it will leak into my marriage, right? Besides the fact that it costs a whole lot of money...someone please help me and if someone with experience has gone thru this, please please please private message me.

Thanks :blush:



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Simon I apologize - my initial response wasn't necessarily what you were seeking.

Some time back I went on a limb when someone else (perhaps yourself?) asked to hear about others that had the same background, and in the end of the day the poster guy I found and mentioned wasn't as righteous as I thought, so I can't spend my time on that for you, sorry

But I have a question - lets say theoretically no one ever experienced the same thing you did, does it mean your fate is doomed?

I have been out of things for a while and I do love the back & forth here.

Money can be one of the any factors and deternets. Not that I am disputing Cordnoy's point. But if I can add based on my expeirience, masterbating won't solve your problems even if its just money. Thats because as long as you masterbate you will lust. As long as you lust you will have the "itch" to spend money to satsify that itch. Its a vicous cycle. It doesn't stop at just masterbating. I have tired many times to limit my tavious to just masterbating but often it doesn't stay contstrained.

This is not to say that I think you should only look at it from a money point of view.

As a side note my money and bad looks have been a great deternt for me not to overescalate my sexapades. I guess thank g-d I didn't win the powerball!

Thanks for all the replies. 
 I really think that it is because of the erotic feeling of knowing that I can meet a stranger and do the act. 

For me, it is more of a psychological thing than it is the pleasure...maybe I need therapy

Simon,

What I would do if i was in your situation is - take one small step this week.
I mean really small

Not for my sake, not for Gd's sake
For your sake

Something that you feel can get you out of this rut

Please keep us posted - Ill be thinking about you

Keep On Trucking

It's really hard especially with college...the girls here in LA are just so pritzizdik

I understand that you may be in an environment which promotes lust and I know it is hard for me also when I am in provocataive environments. However, do you feel that your experience is the same as every other guy or do you think that you might experience things differrently?

Thanks for sharing that, Simon. The girls here in Cape Coral ain't too bad either. And that goes for Cologne, Chelyabinsk, Chongqing, Canberra, Calgary, Curitiba, and, of course, Cape Town as well.
Of course, sometimes it's best to change the environment we're in, but sometimes, that's just not possible.
The girls are not gonna join the convent anytime soon...so I guess the only option is to change ourselves.
Hatzlocha

Bigmoish wrote on Unknown:

BM, you are correct, but.....

Thank God i live in the suburbs of Anchorage and I see dogs, sleighs and sleds (every other hour), but a couple "mushes" down where the UoAA is, [Strikethrough]I would never manage[/Strikethrough] it would be very difficult among all those malamutes.

b'hatzlachah 

Shlomo24 wrote on Unknown:

I am quoting myself because I went for the subtle approach because I didn't want to come off as someone forcing an agenda or have cordy rip me or something. But apparently others used a more direct approach. LOL

Yeah, wherever I am I can lust after anything. If it resembles a human in any way I can lust after it. 

No, I believe that most single guys in school are going through this.

Hey simondontbesoconfused Shalom Shalom, great for you to stop by!

I'm no therepist or rabbi yet but here is my aniyas daas.

I think you need to study the issue of lust well, know the consequences for giving in and the reward and value for holding back.

I kinda got the ruach hakoidesh sense from you that you are not educated and motivated enough to stop, this is not an issue to deal with on one foot (or two tires) this issue needs to be tackled full force (all 18 wheels).

You can start by reading the GYE handbook, GYE articles, GYE chizzuk email, using the tools on GYE, and of course constantly reading and posting on the forum. ETC.

Know hat Hashem is always with you no matter where you are or what you are doing.

Chazak V'emutz

Maskim, but first I have to have the want to stop then I have to apply it

Simon - were you on cordnoys call today as I was? He had some insight on the matter ( as he always does)

KOT

what do you mean markz?