Markz

What if my intent in tashmish is both satisfy myself and my wife? Just like when I eat my Shabbos seuda. My wife enjoys the company and ambiance around the seuda. But I enjoy my boach (belly) too!

You're confusing the reason, with the result

Please see my Torah thread for more

markz wrote:


Mark, would you mind posting it, either here or in your chizuk thread?

Thank you

eslaasos wrote:
Unfortuately I don't have access to a copy of תורה ודעת, but I have some funny feeling, you will hear tires screeching and every Bais Medrash packed within 1/2 hr, cos of this little spoiler

תורה ודעת
Is that R yeruchim's Z"L sefer?

What does M"Z stand for?

wantoimprove wrote:

Motzi Zera i.e. Masturbating

markz wrote:


Which volume?

So M"Z and J/O are really the same thing.

I'm not sure if "self-centered" is a better word. It implies someone who has him"self" in the center and primarily focuses there.

If you stop acting out to help your kids, you are truly better than me. I ignore them and resent their presence when I act out. I feel quite guilty about it, and it's one of the ways that I knew I needed help. How could I ignore the needs of my own children?!

Gibbor 120,

Yes when needed I do stop acting out to help my kids. Although I do confess that when I did flirting on-line it had a ripple down effect on family time and children time. It took me double the time to complete work and my mind as on that rather than my kids. But that's more a natural long term affect. In the sort term (Like on the moment when needed) I would stop. Furthermore, that is what drove me to stop that behavior. However, unfortunately my M"Z is not seen is a drag on my family so in my mind why the push and urgency to stop.
Perhaps self centered is a better more proper term. I assume you generally mean the altitude of one who seeks to pursue self pleasures in this world. However, I still fail to see why this act in terms of focusing on one's self is worse than say smoking where I am seeking self pleasure and I am addicted to. Is smoking an equally self centered act? If no why not?

I don't know. Compare a group of smokers and a group of sex addicts and see who is more self-centered. I don't know. I was never addicted to smoking, so I can't say.

from the little I know, it seems that sex addicts get themselves into a lot more trouble, and do a lot more damage than smokers.

So is self centered measured by how much damage and trouble one's actions cause?

Where I am getting at is, yes its true lust may involve a certain self centered altitude. But is the route cause self centrism or is the root cause simply an addiction as I am addicted to smoking. Many smoker started smoking at age 17 because it was cool or their friends are smoking not because they were depressed or self centered. Why isn't lust the same? So I started at 17 because television and the secular society glorifies women and am simply addicted.

I'd say about myself, when I was lusting - I was addicted to being self centered

Thanks Markz however I don't know that its a rule regarding my lust and how it manifests itself. Certainly, if it means disregarding other people's feelings while satisfying ones own pleasure I don't see how it manifests in me. I suppose if it means indulging in one's own self regardless of whether it harms others than yes I am indulging in enjoying and satisfying myself. However, if you do mean the latter when your refer to self centered than I don't see myself different than say one who is addicted to smoking. In both instances we know that we don't need our pleasure. We know we won't die without it. Yet we pursue our pleasure because we are addicted. Every addiction is about satisfying ones self. The same is true for my coffee addiction. Am I self centered because I need my coffee.And then the term self centered is a very loose term that would apply to a large portion of society.
I do notice how the discussion has shifted from selfish to self centered. So I think even cords agrees that its not selfish rather self centered? But maybe I am misreading him.