waydown wrote:


but a blessin' nonetheless.

Enjoy life!

My friend Waydown - how are you keeping?
my friend wrote:


For me when I was breaking free, porn and flirting was not possible to stop, as long as I was hooked to M**.
Please let me know if you were able to swing it - I'll be pleasantly surprised

my friend wrote:

Strange - I have a stressful job which really keeps me on my toes, and helps me break from lust!

my friend wrote:


My friend - You laughed at the joke i posted here yesterday - the point was that an urge to go to the bathroom can be controlled - when - where - how - why - with what...

In the non Jewish world masturbating is recommended by some, and not condoned by most.
Yiddishkeit disdains Masturbating, so it creates confusion in my heart whenmy friend wrote:


Noch ein zach
my friend wrote:

Your davenin' and learnin' may mean nothing to Gd, cos it's just something you do naturally like going to the bathroom.
We only earn points when we do ONE small difficult thing. Correction - when we do ONE percent of that!

All the best my good friend

markz wrote:


Please don't say the learning and davening of a compulsive luster may mean nothing to G-d. If you do, please back it up with a source.

eslaasos wrote:


well said, also i highly doubt that his davening and learning were completely out of habit. i am sure there are sparks of genuineness at THE BARE MINIMUM.

eslaasos and Shlomo, sorry I should've written it a little lighter. But the point was valid
eslaasos wrote:

R Yisroel Salanter

well said Sholmo! btw my feeling is that we addicts need to foucus on our strengths and not on self-loathing and self-deprication.

you may have a point that his avodah may not have been geniune but i repeat what aryeh dovid said, focusing on our weakness (at least in the beginning) will not help our acting out. and just because he is a compulsive luster doesn't mean that he wasn't genuine. someone who isn't genuine isn't genuine but i am not god and i can not claim to know the inner workings of god and others.

As I said above i should've written it a little lighter - sorry about that.
Yes there are sparks of genuineness at THE BARE MINIMUM.

but I was making a point which is valid

You Shlomo a a good example of someone that has
done ONE small difficult thing. Correction - when ONE percent of that! (You did alot more than 1%)

This is is why I complimented you on your thread for being strong even during vacation period.
A bachur that behaves in yeshiva - yes he will be rewarded by Gd - BUT that doesn't define who he is. He in essence may be a porn addict, only cant act out due to some restraints (this was the idea mentioned by R' Yisroel Salanter ibid)

Markz,

I have not been on the past few day due to a computer crash.

Re your R Yisroel Salnter totally does not mean that learning or davening is nothing. All he says is not to do things out of teva. Well davening and surely being kvai etim is not out of teva. Learning nedarim with all the rans then nazir with tosfas is very very diffiuclt and was a big push.

I often don't talk so sharp but you are way off. Sorry torah and davening mean alot for g-d. Torah is in fact a protector for these kedusha stuff. I think what you are suggesting is boderline kefira. More generally its very hard to post stuff based on a few lines from some sefer. Thus you are 1000% wrong. Torah and tefila help tons. And I hope noone takes your words for granted.

Now yes I do take back an earlier post where I thought OK I'll just stop porn and flierting but continue masterbating. I admit that if I don't control my masterbation then my yetzer will pull me back into the mud. One lust leads to another lust and its highly inseparable. But I will point out that I have seen alot more success in the area of porn and flirting verse masterbation. In my case the masterbation is the hardest thing to conquer. And if I slip every now & then as long as I am with GYE I feel like it stops at masterbation. That doesn't make it kosher. But thats where I am holding.

I am still not sure what your point is re masterbation and going to the bathroom. All I will say is try sleeping at night when you have to pish (excuse my french) and see how easy it is to fall asleep. Masterbation some nights is the same.

I still stick to what I said. Part of what brings me to GYE is being a frum yid tells me what right or wrong.

By the way I am clean for 3 days but my wife was muter now comes the hard part.

As a side point, I don't fully get the 90 days thing. Its suppose to break ones habit. But if he can still have sex with his wife what habit is he breaking? In fact say his wife is pregnant or on pills that she never gets a period how does that work?(especially after masterbation was his problem.)

waydown wrote:


If he is usin' his wife as he does 'the tissues' or whatever receptacle he normally uses to masturbate into, you are darned right!

Yeah but Cords even if one is not as grub as me and doesn't use his wife for lust purposes. Deep inside he is still relieving that pressure somewhere? I mean its a natural chemical/ DNA thing even if his hashkofa is differnet. Maybe put it this way say my problem was I can't sleep without masterbation. Well obviously right after sex the urge to masterbate is not there even if I was doing exactly with shulchan aruch outlines and/ or thinikng an enitre time of torah ans my wife with no lust. Physically you won't have a desire or even the capability of masterbating right after. So problem solved?? That takes away lust?

waydown wrote:


Get a pilegesh.

waydown wrote:

Why lose sleep over him? Just focus on yourself.

I am still not getting it so how does the 90 day thing work?