i justr saw this on GYE.
take a look i have to pray now.

The Sefer V'Ha'er Eineinu quotes Rav Shlomo Zalman Auerbach, ZTs"l thus:

"Even if one only has instances of stumbling, without any successes whatsoever [in his struggle to break from of his lusts]; but he at least has the will and desire to become metukan in his shmiras einayim (i.e. to correct his erstwhile heinous passion for immodest gazing)," says Rav Shlomo Zalman: "he should rejoice with tremendous happiness that he is infused with this holy, pure desire, and he should remember that every time that his soul awakens with this ambition, the creates a profound nachas ruach for the Kadosh Baruch Hu."

I've found that it's that one victory that can lead to the next. Mitzvah goreres mitzvah. For me, when I am matzliach in shmiras einayim, and resist the temptation to indulge in my passions and taavos, that is a perfect time to ask for an extra jolt of siyatta d'shmaya to continue to succeed. [Like mamisch right now, as we are reading and thinking about this, and not indulging in our taavos].

So even if I fail once in a while, and lose the impetus to resist, and stam give in to my taavos, I know that I at least have this once success from before, plus this bakasha, plus the charata of a failure -- three separate categories of mitzvah in overcoming and defeating taavah.

(see further, V'Ha'er Eineinu, p. 75-76)

Listen, Hashem loves you even when you're in this rut because he knows you're trying to get out. Read those chizuk emails, and keep trying. You can do it!

abieham wrote:


ill fill you in on a little secret; for some of us, the disease is in the mind AND in the body.

abieham wrote:


If it is a disease that you have and it is showing its symptoms and you "had a fall". It is either that you forgot to take your antibiotics or you took the wrong dose or it is another medicine that you need to take. you have enough in your hands with this sickness , i dont see why you have to berate yourself for that. Just TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF. Hatzlacha .

guys i fell again. i dont know what to do. i feel numb and nonchalant of what happened,what does that mean. im trying to gnot get down on myself but i feel bad. what does this mean?:
"If it is a disease that you have and it is showing its symptoms and you "had a fall". It is either that you forgot to take your antibiotics or you took the wrong dose or it is another medicine that you need to take. you have enough in your hands with this sickness , i dont see why you have to berate yourself for that. Just TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF. Hatzlacha .

Sorry to hear.
Feelin' down is never good, but let's see how we can get back on da truck.

Have you tried one of the phone conferences?
have you read any of the handbooks on this site?
Have you spoken to anyone about this issue?

b'hatzlachah

i prayed to hashem but honestly i dont know what to say. i said that im sorry and i know that HE knows that i dont want to be this way, and i have a whole different path for my life. i said that i felt compelled to fail, and i was taken over by my addiction. i asked for help.

Prayin' is always good, but we need a plan of sorts.

Can I assume that the answer to all three of my questions was "no"?

abieham wrote:


Ok what it means is that our addiction is a type of disease. So dont go down on yourself as you said. If you fell it means that there are some steps that you have to take and you havent yet done that. As Cordnoy says what is your plan of action ? And what tools are working\not working for you . You are powerless over your falls but you are definitely not action-less. There is a plenty for you to do to help yourself. Start from somewhere , reading the gye handbook and move upwards in your journey to recovery. Hatzlacha !

ok guys im getting ready to leave for the airport, pray i get there safely and return safely and am able to watch myself from falling. i took the gye handbook with me and plan on reading it. i need your help.

Good Move - Read the handbook.

Of course acting out in this filthy,self-destructive way is the worst.
Know that as bad as it is and as hopeless as it appears there is real hope to live a healthy productive life without acting out.
Countless others have achieved this. However, you must really WANT TO CHANGE BADLY.
Stay connected, listen to the advice here and before you know it you will be welcoming others and giving them words of support.

Keep Shtark!

Hi everyone i had a great zman bh. but i again had a bad ben hazmanim. i feel already twice since im home only a week. It feels so bad. I dont know what to do. i pray to hashem to save me. The weird part is is that in the streets bh i am so careful with watching my eyes, but when im home i cant stay away from the hirhurim and i fall. I need some advice please.

How to entertain a thought ? That's where surrender comes in.
These thoughts are precious to us. They are our precious drug--lust.
But we can surrender the thoughts and accompanying lust to Hashem.
How ? By saying it :
Ribono Shel Olam, I am powerless over lust and my life has become unmanageable.
Only You can restore me to sanity.
I turn my life and my lust over to Your care and ask You
to please heal me from this illness of lust. Take my lust.
I don't want to lust.
I only want You and a relationship with You, Your Torah, and an appropriate , loving,
giving relationship with my eishes chayil.
Please take my lust.

Thought came back ? Say it again and again. Mean it.

Thanks AlexEliezer i printed this and started saying it. It's very helpful for me.

the problem is that i dont think before i act on my impulse for lust. what can i do about that.

abieham wrote on 21 Apr 2016 19:03:

Welcome back Abie, and it's good you jumped on without sinking further

Would you please tell me what you think about this "Lust chizuk" post, is it relevant to your situation?