gibbor120 wrote on 18 Nov 2016 19:13:

II will see if this is good, or perhaps Thursday at 1:00.

not as good for me.  Fridays are usually quiet.  Next best is Monday or Tuesday.

cordnoy wrote on 18 Nov 2016 19:17:

if i'm allowed to vote maybe fridays at 1230ish?

Tryin' this post again.

JustI passed a big test B"H.
Didn't think I would.

No tools were used except בשעת מעשה, I thought to myself that this will not end well.

I had a small one yesterday while hiring a new female co-worker

Chin up and KOT

KEEP ON

Rebbe Meir of Permishlan once gave the following mashal:

"There was once a farmer who was addicted to his alcohol. One day he decided to stop drinking! Every so often he would have a tremendous desire for just one drink, but he controlled himself and did not give in. Once, he just could resist and started heading to the bar. He was already on his way when he thought to himself, 'What am I doing? I will drink and then roll drunk in the gutter?! No way!' He turned to go home. As he enter his yard he was ecstatic. What a hero and warrior he was! "You know what?" he proudly said to himself, "such a warrior is worthy of a good drink!" Off he went to the bar.

The yetzer hara has to constantly be held down, concluded Reb Meir, if it is unmonitored for even a moment, it finds a way to come back.

Seize the Moment!

Rav Tzadok Ha-Kohen of Lublin makes a fascinating comment about chipazon, suggesting that in our religious lives, we need to identify a moment of enthusiasm and capitalize upon that moment, leveraging the inspiration to move ahead to religious action:

The beginning of a person’s entry to Divine Service must be be-chipazon, just as we find in Egypt, where the lamb was eaten in a rush, as opposed to the celebration of Pesach in subsequent years (Pesach Dorot). This is because the beginning necessitates that one break the ties of worldly desire by which one is entangled. Hence, one must preserve the moment in which one feels the impetus to serve God and to seize the moment – fast – and maybe one will see success. Later, one can move more moderately and steadily as inPesach Dorot. (Siman #1)

An example he provides is one who is entrenched in a burning desire to eat. Firstly, he must immediately stop from anything which is considered “extra,” even if he knows himself that he will not be able to continue in this way for a considerable length of time, and therefore he might be wanting in his resolution; nevertheless, he should be steadfast and hold firm to make this initial commitment.

For Rav Tzadok, chipazon represents a feeling of passion and enthusiasm, an inspired moment, a surge of momentum and desire. Like a first love, there is a sense of urgency, a rush of emotion, a heightened emotional state.

But why is it necessary? Whenever one wishes to change something in life, there is inertia. We are always bound by bonds of comfort and familiarity. These are the most threatening hindrances to change, growth, and development.  In life, one needs more energy to start than to continue.

How do we counter the negative forces that persuade us to resist change? The answer is chipazon, speed. Jump out of bed! “Just do it!” Chipazon is the flurry of starting; it is a force, an energy, a spirit of carpe diem. One must harness this enthusiasm to conquer inertia, habit, and laziness. Sometimes, if we fail to seize the initial momentum, we get stuck in the details, the bureaucracy, the logistics, and a wonderful idea evaporates and never happens.

He stresses several times and emphasizes that when a person finds himself entrenched in one of the desires found in this world, and it is one that he habitually performs over and over again, and he sees no practical way out of this; the moment he is inspired to take action to prevent this future behavior, he must immediately detach himself completely from any connection to this desire whatsoever, and only afterwards, when he is somewhat successful of distancing himself from these desires, then he should work slowly and patiently with a clear concrete plan and ease of mind.

Who can do?

Rav Tzadok writes in the Likutim to Peri Tzaddik: A person possesses only the initial inspiration and choice; the rest is up to HaShem. This is indicated in the possuk: Hashiveinu; Hashem answers us: No; Shuvu eilay v’ashuvah. If HaShem would not assist us and send the blessing in our handiwork, we would not be able to do or accomplish anything. Before the blessing, it is: La’HaShem ha-aretz u’meloah. [For accuracy purposes, he then says that even the thought process belongs to Hashem, but it seems that in the the preceding line, he said differently.] However, after the blessing, when a person realizes that everything comes from HaShem, then even the aretz is given over to people, and then the actions and the thoughts can be from the person himself.

Entrenched in Filth

Many people are entrenched in certain desires found in this world. They are constantly thinking how they can find even more of whatever they are seeking; how can they derive even more pleasure. These wanton thoughts invade one’s mind at all times – even during his service of HaShem, such as while he is learning Torah, davening and performing mitzvos. One needs much effort and the beseeching of Heavenly mercy to be safe from this.

Rav Tzadok writes: The primary solution is to strengthen himself in emunah, and realize that there is no such thing as chance and happenstance; everything comes from HaShem. Thru this, it will negate most of his thoughts and desires in striving after his pleasures, after he will realize and understand the truth that all his thoughts and efforts will not add or subtract anything that was already decreed from Heaven. He should strengthen himself in emunah peshutah that His Honor fills the entire world and there is nothing besides Him, and that Hashem stands over him and looks at all his thoughts, and even a fleeting thought is not concealed from Him. One should delve deeply into this emunah with all his strength until a fear of God is instilled in him, and that he feels embarrassed from Him.

This is what the Shulchan Aruch alludes to when he rules that one should strengthen himself like a lion. The primary purpose of strength in this world is to overcome one’s Evil Inclination.

One cannot be lazy about this, for it is laziness that dissolves the roof. If one does not properly and diligently care and protect the roof of his house, he is guaranteed that his house will be invaded by outside influences; wind, cold, heat and more. The brain of a person is the roof/ceiling of his body. That is where the holy neshamah resides. This protects the heart and his entire body. One who is lax with his mind is not any better than animal, who walks bent over (and their mind is not regarded as the roof over their body); but they do not have a choice to do eveil like humans do. A person, who possesses free will needs to protect his brain and his thoughts at all times; the light which emanates from emunah in HaShem pushes away much of the darkness. Laziness causes slumberness, and even when one is awake, he is in all practical purposes asleep. Wanton thoughts enter his mind as though he is asleep. This weakens the brains, thus weakening his hands and entire body.

The thought that HaShem is with us at every moment is the strength that can combat this. This will elevate his brain to think holy thoughts and his body will thus be inspired as well.

Thoguhts of emunah, the study of Torah, the recital of kerias shema are all tools that should be used as well.

However, there are times when even all of the above will not be successful. There can be situations where the Evil Inclination has completely taken over a person. First, he (the yetzer hara) appears to a person as a wanderer, then he is a guest, but eventually, he is a man. He has entered the depths of one’s heart. When the yetzer hara is merely a wanderer, one should strengthen himself in the study of Torah and the light of Torah can take the place in his heart that was previously occupied with his wanton desires. This will drive the yetzer hara out of his house. However, if the yetzer hara is somewhat comfortale already, and he is a guest in the house where he is not so easy to send away, one should strengthen himself in the primary tenets of emunah – that there is a Master and Ruler over all, and that He has the power to drive all outsiders out of His house. By filling his heart with these thoughts, the other influences can be negated by default, for there is no room for them to exist at all. However, there are times that one’s yetzer can be so strong that it becomes the houseowner and the ruler over one’s body, for after one sins and sins again his yetzer becomes the ruler, it could then very well be that the above methods will not accomplish anything at all, as there is no healthy muscle or tissue left in his heart. At that point, he should remind himself that there is a day coming where he will die. He goes on to explain why this will help and that it should only be used as a “last-ditch” effort, for it leads to extreme sadness, and the way to serve HaShem properly is thru joy and happiness.

Rabbi Shmuel Breines, a central figure in the Borough Park Breslov Shtiebel, once asked Rabbi Elyah Chaim Rosen, Rosh Yeshivah of the Breslov Yeshivah in Yerushalayim, about which zman kriyas Shema we should follow—i.e., if we should follow the zman of the Magen Avraham. He answered: “The Baal haTanya wasn’t a posek? The Vilna Gaon wasn’t a posek? One could follow them also. The only chumros we have in Breslov are concerning loshon hora and shemiras habris. The main things are Torah, tefillah, hisbodedus, etc.”

Thankz to markz, I thinkz thiz threadz haz been fixed.

cordnoy wrote on 13 Nov 2016 00:31:

I just saw this now. I recently came to this realization also. Happiness isn't an emotion. Elation may be, even joy could be an emotion also. But happiness is an attitude or a state-of-being. I'm happy nowadays even when I feel crappy.

After readin' an extremely eloquent post from Shlomo regardin' the 90 days (Sorry, I have not the skills to quote it here), and after seein' some thoughts from other posters (where the followin' could have helped them), I realized a practical difference between doin' the 90 day challenge" and workin' "one day at a time." 

One needs to analyze his mindset durin' the 90 days to make sure that his thinkin' and his feelin's are not based upon the "end game." "Oh, this I can do and this I can't." If he would realize that it is truly about day, making decisions for just today (while workin' towards 90 days, if that's what tickles his fancy) would be much easier. Many do or don't do thin's because it's a "90-day" decision.

It's really a simple distinction and one that I'm sure has been said here many times.

B'hatzlachah

Thank God for recovery today.

Been a real BAD WORD REMOVEDty past 32 hours, but didn't resort to my drug of choice. Didn't use any tools either, but that's a different story. Hope the editor moderator thingy works.

Sorry to hear that.

Even the great one's go thru moments I guess...