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The 12 Steps

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12-Steps Distilled

12-Steps Distilled

 
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There's a G-d and it's Not Me.

There's a G-d and it's Not Me.

When I start to fantasise or have euphoric recall, I have to accept I cannot use lust successfully. Can you share how you diffuse the situation? Specifically, people have been saying "get on your knees and ask for G-d". Where does G-d come into those moments? Dov Responds...
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Hashem is our Mikva

Hashem is our Mikva

We all sing Rebbe Akivah's ma'amar about "Mikveh Yisroel Hashem" on Lag ba'Omer... Do we hear what we are saying? Hashem is our Mikvah - not the mikvah, but Hashem. Now, what's that supposed to mean? To me, it means that our mikvah of water is an embodiment of Hashem's Ch...
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Holding Hashem's gifts with an open hand

Holding Hashem's gifts with an open hand

Sifrei chassidus, including B'nei Yisos'char, elaborate on the fact that the light of the Chanukah menorah contains ohr haganuz and is miraculous. For this reason, "ein lanu reshus l'hishtamesh bohen, ella lir'osom bilvad." We have no permission to behave as though it's o...
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What Rabbis Who Criticize the 12-Steps Need to Know

What Rabbis Who Criticize the 12-Steps Need to Know

I think that this recording (Shiur #8 of Dov's Shovavim Chaburah) was a very good one, in my opinion. The entire subject and what he writes (in the Kuntress "Derech Emes", is controversial. I think if you listen carefully, you will understand very well why so many frumm...
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God didn't promise days without pain, sun without rain, but He did promise strength for the day and light for the way.
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Addict or Not?

Addict or Not?

Look, I go to meetings cuz I am an addict. And I am not denying the possibility that Holy Man is an addict, too. And I certainly do not wish to c"v dissuade anyone who may (or may not) be an addict from finding the help they need - and certainly many addicts are helped in 12 step fellowships, as I am, b"H. But I believe we should not be implying that he should consider going to meetings tonight solely on the basis of how bad or dangerous what he is doing may be.
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Who should step over the threshold into 12-Step rooms

Who should step over the threshold into 12-Step rooms

In this 2 minute video clip, the well known addiction therapist, Dr. Lew Abrams, LCSW, gives a simple definition of addiction. Dov gives feedback: I feel this clip is precious, clear, and honest. I have spoken with Lew a few times and everytime I do I am impressed with...
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The Secret of Real Strength

The Secret of Real Strength

Hashem made an interesting world, The greatest secret of strength and winning is admitting that we can't, and giving it over to Hashem. (And this is the underlying secret of the power of the 12-Steps in helping addicts stop acting-out). If Kings would know this secret, th...
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Attitude of Gratitude

Attitude of Gratitude

My sponsor told me that I should be a grateful alcoholic and always have “an attitude of gratitude”—that gratitude was the basic ingredient of humility, that humility was the basic ingredient of anonymity and that “anonymity was the spiritual foundation of all our Traditi...
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Powerless is Anti-Torah!

Powerless is Anti-Torah!

Someone wrote: The 12-Steps speak about how we are powerless. This seems to me to be ANT-TORAH!! It may SEEM like we're powerless, and it may be EXTREMELY difficult (like it is for me) but powerless?? The very first mussar shmooze in the Torah was given by the MASTER HI...
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From the Diary of a 12 Step Member

From the Diary of a 12 Step Member

I had a miracle today which also reminds me how sick I am and can lose my new-found sanity in a matter of seconds. I've been abroad with my wife for a few weeks, I had with me a little dinky phone which I would never have imagined would be able to support any picture onli...
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The 12 Steps or the 10 Commandments - which will keep you sober?

The 12 Steps or the 10 Commandments - which will keep you sober?

"Join us on Monday, July 10th and all week for our Launch into the Twelve Steps - Chapter 5 - How it Works" “90% of the people who attend the Twelve Steps Meetings don't really understand the Twelve Steps!” Are you part of the 10% or the 90%?! It's not an exaggeratio...
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WHAT? ME? ASK?

WHAT? ME? ASK?

Somewhere in our past life, we may have picked up the idea that it's not all right to ask for help, that asking for help would be a sign of weakness. Recovery calls for some basic changes in our thinking, and when we feel vulnerable is the best time to reach out and ask ...
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GIVE IT UP TO HASHEM - AND GET IT BACK!

GIVE IT UP TO HASHEM - AND GET IT BACK!

"Avi Ha'Oved" wrote in this amazing story (translated from an email we received in Hebrew): For many years after the wedding, we didn't have children. We did tests and discovered that the chances for me to be able to ever have children were close to zero. The doctor (who,...
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Grasshoppers and Giants

Grasshoppers and Giants

We are are continuing our new weekly Series – “How this Parasha relates to the Struggler” Have you ever faced a new opportunity or a big challenge? Did you ever really want to change but something always seemed to get in the way? You may be asking, what is keeping me fr...
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WHY I CHOOSE TO STAY SOBER & SANE

After the alcohol and drugs are gone, what’s next? The path of recovery, followed closely by the gifts of sobriety, may seem like a hard sell at first. I remember that very day when I was being asked to choose between the comforts and certainty of active addiction, or c...
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Giving up on “Figuring it out”

For many years, I tried to beat lust. If only I could figure it out, wrap my head around it, I would be able to control it. Many times, especially after falls or lots of pain, I was sure that I had finally internalized that it was SHEKER, that there was nothing there. I w...
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