The Library

In my case, I can't really do the jumping for joy till I am basically dead, I guess, but as a friend once told me, "any addict who is sober should get up and dance every day at least once!" So, I often do - but just for the privilege, not with any expectations for my futu...

The pivotal recovery point for me in the outside/giving-centeredness called for in AA (as opposed to self-centeredness), is that I slowly get used to living in accordance with the Will of my Higher Power rather that my will. To me, Orthodoxy and Halacha are great tools f...

Someone wrote to Dov: Today I had a rather rough day... I attended a Sheva Brochos where Men and women sat separately, but there was no mechitza and it was a small room so we weren't very far from each other. It was Yeshivish and all were dressed properly... but as you k...

Lest I get my hands into trouble, I need to be busy. The more sober I get, the more I can tolerate "free time". Earlier on, I couldn't really tolerate it very well, so I made less free time for myself. I took time in the woods and read up on what I saw there, made calls t...

I touched on this before, but I need to say it again to reinforce it to myself. In the past I have made it 30 days or more. But I can't say that I felt as good about it as I feel now at just 20 days clean. Why? Because it felt like a struggle that was holding me down, and...

Someone asks Dov to explain a seeming contradiction in his words. In one place Dov wrote: “So I ask you: why look forward to getting anything more than just being sober? If that is not precious enough to motivate someone, then I just have a hard time relating.” In another...

Whenever I get grumpy and sad about my disappointments in "shalom bayis", I whine, feel sorry for myself, whine some more, eat some cheese with my whine, and then get sick of it and finally slap myself out of the trance only to discover that love is all I can really give!...

I had an amazing realization B"H this morning during my quiet time, and I want to share it with you. I am a husband and a father, but in some ways do not always act like either. I often come home late from work and miss dinner, sometimes miss bedtime with the kids, and al...

There is an old chassidishe story about a bal teshuvah who asked his Rebbe about dealing with inappropriate thoughts (particularly regarding distractions during davening). He told him to go to such-and-such a yid's house that night. The chosid traveled there immediately, ...

Eye.Nonymous wrote on the forum recently: I was thinking that this AA attitude that an addict is "allergic" to their addiction and is forever vulnerable, seems to be very much in line with Chazal, as they say: "The Yetzer Hara is misgaber on a person every day, and withou...

Hashem Healed the Yidden Before Kabalas Hatorah I just want to bring something that Dov once mentioned. Chazal tell us that before Matan Torah, the Yidden were all miraculously healed by Hashem. Says Dov, this teaches us that before we can be Zoche to true Matan Torah, we...

One of the SA guys here on GYE, schlepped me out of the sewer and sent me to the first person I've ever known that I couldn't con. I had the merit to talk on the phone with Harvey, one of the founding fathers of SA (he's an old guy today). Talking to Harvey was seeing mys...

They say that our addiction is just a symptom of our problem, not the problem itself - it just happens to be the "problem" that gets us into treatment for our real problem, which is that life itself is unbearable to us. In recovery we discover that the problem was not wit...

B"H, today is day number 76. But as Dov says, I need to always ask myself, "how can I make the days count, and not just count the days?" Well, the way that I hope to make today count is to go easier on myself and not punish myself with thoughts about all the things that I...

A few minutes ago I checked out a link in an email-type thingy from a good friend. There was an ad on the side of the page that popped up. It was not healthy for me and I turned the page up to avoid the torture and the danger. OK... now comes the fun part: A minute later ...

Imagine the alcoholic going to the opening of the world's most exclusive restaurant. The tab is at least a thousand dollars and he waits hours on line for the privilege of paying to eat there. Finally, he gets his table and sits down. The waiter brings him the menu and he...

The 12-Step Program The 12-Step program is (le'havdil) sort of like Torah she'bichtav and Torah sheba'al peh. The 'bichtav" part of it is the Big book of AA and the White Book of SA (which is a supplement to the Big Book geared towards lust addiction). The "Ba'al Peh" par...

Someone wrote after a fall: The charatah is finally kicking in..... I am on the verge of tears.... what will I say to the Borei Olam? What will be left of me?What will I take with me to the next world? Tatte!! "oy lee vay lee... oy lee miyom hadim, oy lee miyom hatocheich...