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By obormottel

When to start talking. When do we start talking? A lot sooner than most parents are comfortable with. Research suggests that children as young as 10-11 years of age have viewed pornography, with some suggesting that it may be as young as 5 to 6 years of age. Basically, a...

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5 Ways Sex Addiction Recovery Can Get Derailed

By obormottel

I have heard this story of treatment failure from many couples who come in to see me about sex addiction. One partner was discovered to have sexually addictive behavior(s) such as porn addiction, voyeurism, hook-ups, paying for sex etc. After an initial upheaval the coup...

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Is Nocturnal Emission (Keri) a Sin?

By obormottel

A nocturnal emission is something that occurs by itself, against a person's will, and therefore the person is not considered to have committed a willful transgression and there is no punishment involved. Nonetheless, t'shuva is certainly appropriate, especially if a pers...

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S-Anon Letters to Rabbonim

By obormottel

As the result of these letters, an Asifa (gathering) for Rabbonim was convened (summer ’11) in Lakewood. Rabbi Dr. Avrohom J. Twerski presented some basic information concerning addictions to this Asifa. This same summer the “Chosson Rebbes” of BMG were also addressed on...

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The squirrel, the girl, and the cup of honey

By obormottel

This morning, as I was driving to work, cars zipping by me, a furry little squirrel streaked in front of my car. I gasped, but it was instantaneous. Looking in horror in my mirror, I saw its crushed body, saw it lift its head confusedly and fall limply back down. My heart...

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Scared of Eternal Suffering?

By obormottel

Dear Scared Witless, The Tzadikim have already addressed this Zohar that implies there is no Teshuvah for this, and offered numerous answers and explanations. It’s not our topic, but the point is, you can definitely do teshuva even for this, and it does not contradict th...

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Not Addicted - Thank G-d!

By obormottel

I just saw the video from FightTheNewDrug and it really scared me. I don't even know if I wanted to see that video... I guess it's better to be aware, but at the same time... I am far far from being exposed to that sort of thing, I have a strong filter and I am too sc...

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It's not hard once you bring Hashem in the picture!

By obormottel

I'm a teenager. I was out of hope. I couldn't stop; it was painful to stop and the desires kept coming. So I decided to learn about wasting seed in general, and when I found out that what I'm doing is a severe sin every time I would be tempted I would speak to Hashem, my ...

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Shmiras Einayim for a Woman

By obormottel

Question from a woman: I once heard that shmiras einayim isn't as serious for women as is for men. Sometimes I'll stop myself from looking at something for my future children. But I'm not as makbid with not looking at certain sites or certain types of movies as I was be...

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Victory of recovery

By obormottel

From 9:30 last night until 2 o'clock in the morning, my wife and I were building a new large closet. For the first hour and a half our children were helping. But then, obviously, it was bedtime... I am very tense about various things in my life: making money; how I fit i...

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Cry for Help

By obormottel

I first began stimulating myself long before my bar mitzvah, and certainly before I knew and understood what I was really doing. Forgetting about the aveira involved in it, when I was first motzi zera levatala, I was shocked and scared because I didn't know what my body w...

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Love, Not Lust

By obormottel

Dear Rabbi Brody, I was one of the participants in the conferencecall/shiur you gave our group who are working on trying to break free from sex addictions. I can't thank you enough. For a long time, I was really down on myself and the more depressed I'd get, the worse I'...

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Dear G-d

By obormottel

Dearly beloved, My emotions are runnin' wild.These past few weeks got me all riled.At times it's lust and at times despairAlways in conjunction with a bitin', gnawin' fear. I don't want 'em, I don't need 'emTake 'em from me, grant me freedom.Your Grace has brought me to ...

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Can the 12-Step program help someone deal with SSA (same-sex attraction)?

By obormottel

Dov writes: Sometimes guys write to me about SSA. I responded to a couple of them with this (below) as a start to the right conversation: As far as myself, I do not see any similarity that homosexuality bears to addiction. Do you? It seems like a separate issue and ther...

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Public Transportation

By the.guard

Thank you for your mail. It helps me to find the strength to face this situation, without being overwhelmed. I knew that being mad and so upset was neither appropriate nor helpful reaction to his fall, but I could not find my way out of my painful feelings. When I read yo...

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Success story: a family saved.

By obormottel

On ******, 2015 4:26:18 PM **********@gmail.com wrote: ... The ladies on GYE are well meaning but I have no good reason for keeping the marriage at this point. I need their support but I do not understand why they don't get out also. Do you have guidelines on how...

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To Mas******* or to Masturbate? That is the question.

By obormottel

Every so often, our members revisit the issue of using explicit terms vs. euphemisms in our materials and on the forum (e.g. s*x vs. sex, p*** vs. porn or 'inappropriate materials', etc.). On the one hand, Torah speaks strongly in favor of lashon nekiya, and some member...

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Response to a Wife's Letter

By obormottel

The article you brought from The Guardian was powerful. I tried to identify for myself what it was about this particular article that spoke to me. I think it's the sense of futility that comes through from the eyes of an outsider. The addict himself is blind to the real...

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