treat her as i did to all my GF
Break off contact and block her
When she tries reaching out, tell her - i'm busy now and i cant speak to you anymore
try it for a week and report back
hatzlacha!

Dear Parev,
I'll try it.
yours,
Poedel

Poedel wrote on 03 Feb 2025 06:54:

Hi Poedel,

Did you read what I wrote? I belive that spiritual entities exist, and that they can influence us.
But so does Hashem exist. And He is the Source of all, and more powerful than any other. And He gives us the tools we need to combat unclean influences and accomplish the mission of living according to His direction and will.
I believe that GYE is one of those tools... 

The Kav Hayashar (Perek 68) writes that the power of these demonic spiritual entities (He is speaking of the 2 succubae that you are referring to) can broken through Simcha Shel Mitzva and genuine tears by prayer... I think reaching out to a friend when the urges strike, staying out of the dark, keeping away from porn, and counting one day at a time are all things that can help too. 

Everyone has challenges, internal and external.
I believe that everyone can given the gift of being able to find freedom too....
Help is always given to those who ask...    

If you believe that you are in the hopeless, sweaty grip of relentless demonic forces that can't be overcome, you may find yourself correct.
However, if you believe that a higher road is available to you, and you search,  you may find it. 

This is what I wish for you. 
I believe in hope,

Chaimoigen

Shalom Brother Poedel,

You seem to have a unique condition in your struggle that I cannot relate to. 

But seeing that after 15 years of wrestling with these demons you still stand and fight, that says a lot to me about the power that you possess against them.

Perhaps a Gadol b'Torah that is a master in spiritual matters might be able to offer you a blessing for protection?

May you find G-d's holy light that vanquishes the darkness. That light exists here.

Poedel wrote on 03 Feb 2025 06:54:

Some questions I am struggling with, Reb Poedel.


1) How do you think anybody here on GYE can help you? If your experience is true and you are not a troll, than this has got nothing to do with GYE. Would not the greatest Rabbis' of the generation be a better address? 

2) The thought of you actually sitting by a therapist for 26 years and not getting helped with a significant issue such as this pains me and boggles my mind. Who does this to a person? It defies believability and is nothing short of an atrocity if it's true. 

3) Not to get squabbly about the particulars, but to the best of my knowledge, Carl Jung's approach is not the same as what Rabbi Yosef Karo experienced, which was indeed a separate spiritual entity of sorts, rather he viewed these experiences as symbolic manifestations of the inner subconscious. While Jung didn't completely dismiss the idea of spirits, he treated them primarily as expressions of the unconscious that shape human experience. The question wasn’t necessarily whether spirits exist in the traditional sense, but rather what these experiences reveal about the inner workings of the psyche. You seem to be giving far more weight to the "spirit" in that sense than Jung would, rather than focusing on it through a  subconscious lense. 

Please clarify, I would love to hear your thoughts!

If you're trolling, the jokes on me. If you're genuinely struggling with a mental health issue, or indeed a spirit the likes of which you describe, than you have nothing other than my complete, nonjudgmental compassion. 

youknowwho wrote on 03 Feb 2025 14:40:


Not true.

It’s well known that 10 to 15% of clients are not treated by therapy through no fault of the therapist. This is a fact - unfortunately.

Then when it comes to someone with a relationship to some powerful mystical or whimsical forces? we have zero statistics on that.

There is another piece here that people overlook.
Many people think you walk into the therapist office and a day later you walk out cured.
If it does not happen that day, then you try again a week later, and you try that for six months or two years.
And if it doesn’t work, then you move on.

That is not the only role of that office.
One of the benefits is that it is a safe place for a person to Vent on a weekly basis, and some people need just that alone.

I’m talking from personal experience with a close relative of mine.

Markz wrote on 03 Feb 2025 19:19:

I hear your point, Markz. I guess we can hear from Reb Poedel, if indeed his therapist of 26 years is for venting, I totally get that.

Your first point is well taken too...I wonder though, why the therapist would not after so many years (assuming the purpose is not just for venting) refer him on to someone else that could try to help? 

youknowwho wrote on 03 Feb 2025 19:35:

Again, that is not the therapist’s role.The therapist job is to try to help their client to realize things on their own accord.
So far the client still believes that this supernatural relationship is the most overpowering thing in the world, so go figure. 

Dear Markz,
Maybe you've wondered how a person can sit in therapy for 26 years and not walk out disappointed after a few years. Well, I had more issues to discuss with the man. If you know the album "The Wall" By Pink Floyd, well, that summons it up pretty well. In other words, the devil managed to mess me up quite well.  And Yes, Markz, there are things a therapist cannot solve, but it still helps to talk to somebody who at least understands what you are saying and who doesn't run out screaming "You are crazy". You what "You are crazy" means by the way? It means: I don't understand you and I don't want to make the effort in the future to understand you. I would like to ask you to give me the benefit of the doubt and listen to me, it doesn't help very much saying outright my story isn't true. Anyhow, you're a withered blogger on this forum, at least so it seems, so you might have come across a few strange stories here by now. So bare with me, just talking to someone who understands you at least a little bit does help. And no, maybe GYE is not the real place for this, but I do have an issue with p**n, so when it comes to that I am very eager do listen to you, and hear from you what you suggest. Forget the שד, she is not the only issue here. I click around just like you did, I got excited just like you did. Relate to that.
Thanks for everything so far, 
Yours,
poedel

Dear Chaimoigen,
Thank you for your post. I am struggling with something, and the way I related to it so far in life was seeing it as spiritual entities, because that is the way it works best for me. it is something it took a long time to get to terms with, and yes, I also hope there is a way out. Hakav hayasher might be right, and it has been my solution so far: be religious, pray, do mitswahs etc. It at least helped me to stay inside the healthy part of society: I have a steady job, am married and have a child, in other words: I function normally, and hardly anybody in society thinks I have a problem. But I have reached out to you guys, because I believe a frum site dealing with issues of p**n can help me better deal with this than say talk to my boss at work (Just saying). I hope you all have the patience to listen to me and won't get freaked out by my story, just because you don't really now how to relate to it. Like some of you already conluded: There are a lot of people in (jewish) history who dealt with the spiritual realm in that way, and some have struggled with it one way or another. i believe in freedom too, and think indeed that "the one who comes to purify himself will get help" as Chazal say. That is why I opened up to you guys, and I need your help, anything goes, just keep it nice and friendly, and G'd will help!
Yours,
Poedel

Dear Youknowwho,
You have a point there, and I will try to explain with G'ds help. People often think in old-fashened terms when it comes to the spititual realm. For a long time people thought that heaven is up in the sky and if you take a spaceship up to the sky you at the end come to a space where a man with a long beard sits on a big chair. Well, Youri Gagarin is right: there is no G'd up in space. Or if you take a spade and you dig down, you well get to hell. Of course not, you might say, but this rather materialistic vision of the spiritual realm stills sticks to a lot of us in some way. People think spirits can be filmed, can bang their heads on trees, stay in hounted houses etc. Well, the thing is: They are not material in any form. They are spiritual, and stay in a world Jung defined as "The Collective Unconscious". You might also call it "The universal mind" (Like Jim morrison called it for example). We are part of that ourselves.
When people think of the unconscious, they think of something down in the lower ends of the brain, something material, and part of the individual only, that at least was Freuds Idea and many people think of it like that. Jung came up with a differend conception: that the unconscious is not something "In the brain" but a realm, a world, or as I call it: A dimension. It contains in his idea not only of personal memories, but also of historical ideas, memories of mankind in general, and at a certain point it is the univeral mind of everybody who ever lived. It is not confined to one person, but at a certain point contains the memories of everybody. He calls it "Collective Unconscious" (Kollectives Unterbewusstsein) and I think he is right.
In other words: heaven, spirits, angels, demons etc exist not in your mind, but make up a world we might call the world of the spirit. Look at parapsychology for example, it has lots of things related to that.
So yes, this Shin dalet romes around in my mind, or better in my unconscious, bordering on the collective unconscious.
On last thing" What exactly is a troll? I know it as a creature from Nordic mythology who is rather mischievous. What are you in this case referring to?
Yours,
Poedel

My Brother,

To hopefully clarify a few things for you:
- Those who suggested you get evidence on film were either joking or they don't seem to believe you / understand you.
- Online, a troll is someone who may post for reactions and to mess with people to start a commotion for their own amusement.

I'd venture to say that every person here knows that Heaven and Hell are not physical places. 

As you seem to be aware of how many people would react in-person to what you've shared, posting on an anonymous and public online forum is certainly not a reason to expect a different reaction. 

If you seek out a reliable and knowledgeable Rabbi, they may teach you more about these realms you are discussing, from Torah rather than psychological theory. 

Rather than getting into a debate about demons and psychology, let's talk about what you came here for.
If you are ready, please share some more about yourself, your struggle with pornography, and how we can try to help

All the best!

I’m not sure if this is the part of The Wall you’re talking about, brother, but it’s the part that’s seared into my memory from wandering around in streets as a teenager- listening to this, while fighting with lust and hating myself for it. That was a Looong time ago. 
Thank Hashem I’m no longer comfortably numb. I don’t want to smash all those guitars, and the worms aren’t eating me , because I’ve broken down the wall.
With Hashems help. 
I also get by with a little help from my friends. (I know that the Beatles and Pink Floyd don’t really mix, but whatever). 

Let’s start with talking about dealing with life. 
Are there situations that trigger you to fall, brother?

Dear BenHashemBH
the idea of contacting a Gadol B'Torah keeps pupping up in these messages to me.
I will seriously consider it, since I live in a place where there are several of them.
Yours,
Poedel

Dear BenHashemBH,
You made a good point, and I''ll stick to the addiction for the time being. I came in contact with p**n in my childhood, and have struggled with it ever since: Buying it and throwing it out a few days later, you know what I mean. Since that stuff has become easily available online, the challenge is even bigger. Some background information that might be relevant: I am from a Christian background, I converted to Judaism when 30 years old. That means growing up in a world and a environment where p**rn was normal, and Mas****n was considered healthy. Not my parents though, my father was a reverend. and he did not aprove and also my mother was totally against it. That means a mixed message on p**n: Both forbidden (Parents) and allowed (My schoolmates). I later internalized the Jewish values of Tsniut and Guarding your eyes, but somehow the struggle seems to be part and parcel of my soul. 

Right now I have filters on all my devises, but still: You know just as well as I do, that filters aren't perfect. A few years ago I got a smartphone, although in the beginning I didn't want it. But you know, the modern world, and my wife wanted it very badly so I could communicate with her easily by WhatsApp. I have a filter on my phone, but the dirt keeps slipping through, and I still struggle with it.

I would love to hear some suggestions. By the way: My wife doesn't know about my addiction, and I would like to keep it that way.

Yours, 
Poedel