rocky21 wrote on 21 Mar 2025 08:34:

Always nice to see you around and fighting.

Feelings are normal. And feeling a desire for a physical connection is also normal. One of G-ds ways of making sure we get married and don't camp out for life in our man cave with a bottomless keg and a flat screen tv the size of the kotel. 

If you're not struggling with acting out in person then it's probably best to acknowledge the feeling, recognize you're normal and it's a normal feeling, accept that while you feel that way it's not something you will engage in prior to marriage, and then move on without thinking about it too much.

Edit: and remembering that you've posted about interactions with some of your female coworkers, being extra stringent in some way in those interactions might be a good geder. But that's a question you should discuss with a Rav/experienced mentor who knows you and where you are holding in all areas.

Keep on rocking!

Half way to 90

50 days clean ladies and gentlemen bh!

53 days were I didn't watch anything inappropriate or jerk a fat one as they say
It's getting tough ngl

Rocky 

Your a tzadik, keeping being an inspiration to everyone!!

54 days clean 
And tbh so far don't feel any changes of this amazing freedom everyone speaks of because even tho I'm not watching I'm forr sureee not free from wanting to watch and battling every second of the day so ya it's not fun 
At least when you watch you got some enjoyment 
Again this is probably just my shlong talking but ha

Rocky, it's always so inspiring to see you on your feet and fighting.

I just want to share an idea with you that may be helpful. There's a very famous idea from the chafetz chaim. They asked the Chafetz Chaim. Chazal said the manna in the dessert tasted like whatever the eater wanted it to taste like. So they asked the CC, what did the manna taste like if you didn't think of anything? The CC answered, "If you don't think, you don't taste." 

Absolutely powerful idea. If you don't think about things you don't truly experience them. If you don't try to view yourself as leaving Mitzrayim then you don't automatically get that perspective. Some, or even most, sophisticated pleasures take active effort to truly enjoy.

What I'm trying to say is for sure on some level it's "not fun." But try to consciously tap in to the level where it is fun.

Reading the Battle of the Generation can be very helpful for this. Finding times where it feels good to be clean and focusing on them is crucial. Whether that's done through bringing yourself to a recognition that you're building yourself in a positive way, a feeling of closeness to Hashem, or just a recognition that porn does nothing for you (check out Mindshift btw - link below) it's something that you need to work on feeling. 

But that feeling is there, and it's accessible. With just a bit of thinking. 

Let's step back on talk about the broader picture. If you're battling every second of the day between something you enjoy and something you "can't" do, the enjoyment is probably going to win eventually. It's crucial to reframe this for long term success. "There's two things I like, and you know what? One of them doesn't do much but numb me for a bit and feels good for about two seconds before feeling like a loser." That perspective is one that doesn't leave you in a "battle" your whole life. Of course, what you reframe the picture to is up to you. TBOTG and perhaps Mindshift are very useful to gain the correct way of looking at it. I personally also like Dov's 12 step lectures as providing a more sustainable viewpoint.

Two other tools that are extremely useful in actively reframing. That is changing your vocabulary and by disputing irrational beliefs. These are two powerful tools to use to actively change the picture. But again, you also need to know what you are changing the picture into.

To summarize. You just can't let yourself sit in a battle all your life. Battling is important, but long term you need to look at the whole picture in a way that's not a constant struggle. You can learn new ways of looking at this parsha, and then actively tap into experiencing a more pleasant existence by being clean.

Hatzlacha!