wilnevergiveup wrote on 02 Jul 2021 14:04:

Various different stuff. Learnt, read a paper, ...

Hows it goin buddy?

YeshivaGuy wrote on 07 Jul 2021 17:51:

Hey thanks for checking in.

Bh the past few days were calmer.

Last night and today I actually was extra careful with shmiras enayim for a zchus for something.
It feels so good to just not look around while I'm walking in the street. I'm going to try to keep this behavior up from now on bezras Hashem.

HappyYid wrote on 07 Jul 2021 18:56:

I’m so so happy for you. You sound liberated, or at least very close to it.

Keep Shteiging!

YeshivaGuy

Sometimes many times I just want to look. It gives such a good (fake) feeling. Just to stare and dream about them. 

Tonight I was in a grocery store and there were tons of females around, I really wanted to look at them.
But I really fought and won!

That feeling, overcoming the yh, is such a good feeling. It's almost as good as a feeling than looking itself. 
I hope to not have to try sooo hard not to look, I hope one day I can just be 'regular' and walk around without having to force myself to look away...

Anyway things were ok the past few days bh.

Good night

Bh I'm at day #162

I did very well in regards to guarding my eyes and for a few days, but then yesterday and today the yh got to me a bit. 
I need to make sure I don't let my guard down at all. I know it's possible because I did it for some time.

Posting here for accountability.

Have a wonderful evening.

This shiur was a nice chizzuk for me.
Great mashal...
You will probably enjoy it too.
It's only 6 min and a great and interesting speaker so it doesn't hurt to watch. 

https://www.torahanytime.com/#/lectures?v=156629

HappyYid wrote on 14 Jul 2021 01:06:

I love his lectures. 
Hes good and softly does it but doesn’t beat around the bush. 

Markz wrote on 14 Jul 2021 01:17:

I love them too

Hi guys!

It's been some time since I updated here. I've had a busy past 2 weeks...
Bh day #179!

The desires are still in full swing, but I sort of know how to control them. I will admit that I still have trouble with shmiras enayim and also with touching. 

I really hope to be free from those too. I just have this crazy desire for one of my sister in laws. It's really hard not to (day)dream about her. 

But I'm not giving up! 


Have a wonderful evening,
HappyYid

I fell around 2 weeks ago and since then it has been tough.

But the buck stops here. Now.

My life recently got very busy, for good things, bh. So I don't have too much extra time to post often but I'm going to try hard because it really helped me get to where I got to before.

Today is day 1.

Enough with this already.

Good night
HappyYid

Thank you Hashem for a second day clean!

I didn't expect myself to become one of those 'disappearing people'; but I did...

Had ups and downs recently, now bh holding at day 8. 

I didn't realize how hard it would be to get back up after falling at 180...

My wife sort of figured out that I've been masturbating lately so I renewed my commitment to be clean.

May Hashem help me and everyone else.

HappyYid

Cmon buddy you got this

Actually the fact you did 180 just gives you the reassurance that it is possible to stop. Many guys believe intensely that there is an actual NEED to watch and masturbate. Someone who got to 180 obviously understands that although there are strong urges and desires, it is simply not true that there is a need. 

And if the Satan tries to knock you down by saying that you will never completely break free, just respond, "Well, i think it is very choshuv b'einei Hashem, a fellow that used to act out hundreds of times each year on almost every day of that year, and now has minimized it to a few times on a few days.