Good for you! I love your thread because you are so focused on your goal it is very inspiring! 

Realestatemogul wrote on 19 Jan 2021 05:23:

Thank you REM, really appreciate it!

Day 61
BH a good day for learning.

Been feeling a bit down mentally this week, spoke to an avreich this week about what I think is getting me down. It's reassuring to hear someone who felt/feels the same way about certain issue, but also frustrating to hear that I just have to accept the situation, there's not much I can change.
Being in not such a great mood makes me feel a bit more vunderable, so I need to make sure I'm proactive in my prevention.

Trying to also get an early night, late nights aren't conducive to being successful in this inyan and they also impact my learning negatively.

Looking_to_Improve

Day 62

BH mostly a good day today, went to a very good shiur tonight.
I've allowed myself to fantasise occasionally over the last few days when I lie down. I need to be more strict with myself and make sure to think of another topic. I think I'm ok with dealing with it, but I've delayed too much than necessary. I need to avoid slipping back into old habits

Looking_to_improve wrote on 20 Jan 2021 22:23:

You always have to be alert and can never allow yourself any leeway. I had the same story and only caught myself when I was at the point of falling. That should not happen. The fight would not even have started had I been distracting myself on time.

Kot

Day 63
Week 9

BH was a busy day with good learning 

Foolishly checked the loophole I got closed up the other day, it didn't work as it should have. I paused for a few seconds, thinking about what to go have a look at, and realised I really don't want this, nothing positive will come from it. I have a long way to go still, if after 9 weeks clean, my mouth still waters, and my heart rate goes up, at the prospect of finding something to look at and masturbate to. Relapsing is only going to lengthen the journey and undo my progress. I've been fed up in the past of a lack of improvement, so now that I'm in a situation where I am improving, I need to stay far away from old habits.

BH it's working again, bli neder I won't check it again
Goodnight

Looking_to_improve wrote on 21 Jan 2021 23:54:

It may always remain like that, but you clearly came a long way if you remained levelheaded and in control. 

If I were you, I'd be feeling proud of the long way I already came, not feeling sad with the long way still to go!

LTI, we are kindred spirits - we are both on day 63!

As the General pointed out, focus on your accomplishments (which would have been unfathomable but a few months ago)

!ה׳ עמך גבור החיל

Feeling desire to act out this morning. Been a very busy week and I need a break, a soothing, pleasurable break from reality. Been feeling a bit aroused as well. Been a few difficult days recently in the battle, and now I just want to masturbate and get it out.

If I continue trying to X-ray every women or picture of a women I see, what am I other than an X-ray machine? I can't continue desiring something so detrimental to myself
gibbor120 wrote on 07 Nov 2011 18:14:

Sometimes I just hate this. Why do I obsess about thinking of masturbation, and objecting others so often? It doesn't feel normal, I don't feel normal

First of all congratulations on where you are up to. You have come a long way and besides BH doing so well, you are inspiring many others with constant honest posts.

Secondly, you are 100% normal. Everyone has urges to release sexually. Accept it. Hashem made us like this so we should iyh raise beautiful families with many cute kinderlach. The urge will be utilized b'ezras Hashem at the right time with the proper focus. Until then we remind ourselves that it is only a temporary urge, and that you bh have full control over it. It's not super easy, but it is doable; and the reward in this world of menuchas hanefesh is incredible. Besides the reward in the Next World which tzaddikim say is beyond our imagination.

Day 64

Have no idea how my urge subsided earlier, but very grateful to HKB"H that it did. It was very overwhelming.

Have a great shabbos everyone
Looking_to_Improve

Shabbos was a bit tougher than normal, no strong urges as such, but a lot of thoughts running through my mind, which I couldn't quite get rid of.It's gonna be a long motsei shabbos, gonna go for a run and try to tire myself out

Day 65

Went for a very long run tonight, and bH kept myself busy. Going to sleep tonight. Thank God I haven't had as strong urges as I did on Friday