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from zero to 90
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Scientific studies show that it takes 90 days to break an addictive pattern in the mind. Start your own Log of your journey to 90 days! Post here to update us on your status and to give each other chizuk to stay strong!

TOPIC: from zero to 90 5704 Views

Re: from zero to 90 16 Jan 2020 17:44 #346755

  • drust
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keep going boy
go ahead....

Re: from zero to 90 17 Jan 2020 05:52 #346779

  • Realestatemogul
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Drust, you are doing an amazing thing by coming back to these forums to post your success and challenges. Keep interacting and giving it your best and Hashem will surely help you out! 

Day by day, step by step....

Re: from zero to 90 27 Jan 2020 02:06 #346975

  • shmuel83
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Ugh. Wasted 2 hours on YouTube last night and as a result woke up late this morning and didn't make it to shacharit for Rosh Chodesh. There aren't that many Jews in the area so we don't have a minyan every morning. Didn't look at anything inappropriate thank G-d, but I'm annoyed at myself regardless.

Re: from zero to 90 27 Jan 2020 03:35 #346976

shmuel83 wrote on 27 Jan 2020 02:06:
Ugh. Wasted 2 hours on YouTube last night...

Thanks for sharing that one. It is such a waste and a time suck. I have YouTube blocked on all of my devices, but I still end up wasting time on it at work and with other people's devices.

Re: from zero to 90 27 Jan 2020 14:13 #346980

  • shmuel83
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I don't block it, but only because I use it to watch shiurim and other videos that have educational content.

The one good thing about it is that YouTube recommends videos based on what we watch. I don't know if anyone else has tried this, but one solution would be to aggressively curate the "recommended videos" either by saying you're not interested, or that you don't want to see recommendations from that particular channel. It might take a while for YouTube to adjust its recommendations to your preferences though.

Re: from zero to 90 31 Jan 2020 13:11 #347060

  • drust
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I know it would be ridiculous but I think I fall in love with a p*rnstar.
I imagine her face, her body in my mind sometimes. then I search her name in the internet and ... (you know what happens then)
I did everything to forget her but in stressful situations and important moments I remember her.
What is wrong with me...

Re: from zero to 90 31 Jan 2020 14:08 #347062

drust wrote on 31 Jan 2020 13:11:
I know it would be ridiculous but I think I fall in love with a p*rnstar.
I imagine her face, her body in my mind sometimes. then I search her name in the internet and ... (you know what happens then)
I did everything to forget her but in stressful situations and important moments I remember her.
What is wrong with me...

First of all, nothing is wrong with you. Language is very important. We are not wrong. We sometimes do things that are wrong. That is a very important distinction. 

Also, I would suggest that you change your wording from "I think I fall in love with a p*rnstar" to "I have a crush on a p*rnstar" or "I am infatuated with a p*rnstar." That's not love, dear brother. That's lust.

Hashem has asked us to be a holy people. We are swimming against the current when it comes to these issues and we have a right to acknowledge that it is hard.

I don't think anything is wrong with you, drust.

Re: from zero to 90 02 Feb 2020 03:54 #347082

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drust wrote on 31 Jan 2020 13:11:
I know it would be ridiculous but I think I fall in love with a p*rnstar.
I imagine her face, her body in my mind sometimes. then I search her name in the internet and ... (you know what happens then)
I did everything to forget her but in stressful situations and important moments I remember her.
What is wrong with me...

Nothing wrong with you, other than it sounds like you are thirsty for some warmth. Instead of getting it for real, it appears you are trying to fill a void with a stranger's naked body. Face it, you will never get into a bed with her, and guess what - ask the guys who nebach did get into bed with those women, and they will tell you how absolutely disgusted they felt when it was over. Love and warmth needs a name and a relationship. We invest in it mutually.

In stressful situations, instead of drifting off into fantasy land, reach out to a friend and find ways to release your stress in helpful kosher ways. Hatzlocha buddy. We are here to help.
Feel free to contact me at michelgelner@gmail.com

My threads: Lessons Learned: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/335248-Lessons-Learned

                    My Story and G-d Bless GYE: guardyoureyes.com/forum/17-Balei-Battims-Forum/303036-My-story-and-G-d-bless-GYE

Re: from zero to 90 04 Feb 2020 04:38 #347130

  • Realestatemogul
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Drust, you are a special person. Hashem loves you!

Remember what you came here to do, and really try and focus on how much better you feel when you succeed in staying clean. 

It may be a battle each time, but really celebrate even small successes. 

Look forward, and not behind you. Keep your chin up and stay positive. 

Also, if you could filter your devices that would save you so much of the hard work. Cut out watching P@$n at all costs, and masturbating will become much easier to conquer. 

Come to GYE for support, and post often.

You have tremendous potential and we are all rooting for you!

Re: from zero to 90 06 Feb 2020 02:03 #347180

  • shmuel83
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I did have a fall yesterday, but there was a reason for it - I had done a good job guarding my eyes in the past month, but I was fixating too much on staying clean and not committing sins, instead of focusing on the other areas of my life. Sometimes trying too hard to avoid lust takes our focus away on the other things that we SHOULD be doing. I've already donated $50 to GYE as I pledged when I signed up for the 90 day challenge. Looking forward to giving it another go.

Re: from zero to 90 16 Feb 2020 16:27 #347361

  • drust
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I have a crush on a prnstar 
tell me what should I do for God's sake

Re: from zero to 90 16 Feb 2020 18:39 #347363

  • Markz
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drust wrote on 16 Feb 2020 16:27:
I have a crush on a prnstar 
tell me what should I do for God's sake

That’s a very big question, you’ll have to ask Gd on His Toll free number. 
If there’s something you want to do for your sake, it will happen!
My Story---------Dov Quotes




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Re: from zero to 90 16 Feb 2020 19:59 #347368

  • Hakolhevel
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After your have internalized what markz said. The next step might be acceptance. I have a crush on a lot of stars, but I accept that that's the case, and most days move on not thinking about it. I can't will myself to stop loving them/porn in general.
My Thread:The Road To Being Honest With Myself (and others:)

I'm not a slow learner, I'm just quick to forget" - Eli Nash

Re: from zero to 90 16 Feb 2020 21:14 #347369

  • Mark18
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Markz wrote on 16 Feb 2020 18:39:

drust wrote on 16 Feb 2020 16:27:
I have a crush on a prnstar 
tell me what should I do for God's sake

That’s a very big question, you’ll have to ask Gd on His Toll free number. 
If there’s something you want to do for your sake, it will happen!

Hi our brother Drust - You yave to see her for what she really is in reality. Im serious. Most of her body is as a result of extensive plastic surgery and heavy makeup. She appears as desirous as she does purely due to well placed mirrors and camera angles. She is paid very well for what she does and its all fake and phoney. All the supposed pleasure orgasm etc. you see on the screen is pure acting. She actually gets no pleasure out of the feels degraded and is only doing it for money. All porn stars have to get themselves high usually on cocaine in able to lose their inhibitions sense of self respect and humanity to he able to do all the things they do in front of the other actors producers directors camera and cameraman. Her body is fake the way she respondes sexually is phoney and fake and no married couple in the universe no matter how intense and active the sex they may be having might be experiences the excitement or pleasure you see these actors having on the screen. Truthfully the vast majority of the so called porn stars are deeply unhappy people and have a very high suicide rate. Additionally after appearing in these for a relatively short amount if time these actors are afflicted with disease body illnesses from overuse most porn actors lose their ability to have an erection and are all on viagra just to perform on screen or be able to have sex normally. Most porn actresses lose their ability to respond to any sexual touch or body sensation and quickly lose the ability to have an orgasm at all. In reality you are in love with plastic silicone camera angles mirrors and people who are really not beautiful or attractive if it wasnt for how they are made up to be. Thats what you are really in love with. Less than an attractive beautiful woman but rather an ugly made up diseased plastic silicone fake phoney individual who unfortunately has made herself much less than a human being. My dear brother see this for what it really is.

Re: from zero to 90 16 Feb 2020 21:56 #347370

  • Markz
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Karl doesn’t believe that’s gonna help someone hooked on porn, phoney or not
My Story---------Dov Quotes




FREE LUST TRUCK TOWING
Click HERE to checkout;
100 Day Success Stories: cordnoy, Dov, Gevura and more...
• Awesome Threads Saved for You
• Cast Your Vote

GYE Plenty Solutions
➣ The Mark of Torah - Lust Chizuk

➣ Nice Trucking Story
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