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A recent scientific study shows that it takes 90 days to break an addictive pattern in the mind. Start your own Log of your journey to 90 days! Post here to update us on your status and to give each other chizuk to stay strong! See www.guardyoureyes.com/tools/90-day-chart.

TOPIC: I hope, I want, I will 1410 Views

I hope, I want, I will 09 Jan 2019 04:00 #338312

  • Issac
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Hi, I've been struggling for a while and just decided to commit to the 90 day challenge. I'm a little unsure of myself because i feel like I've tried to stop so many times. But, looking at so many guys here who have failed and then succeeded really got me to try this. 
 So the challenge is on!
I bl'n will commit to reporting here at least every other day briefly how it's going.
  Every one I've met has been so nice and supportive so far i hope to be able to return the favor:smiley:

Let my mistakes empower me to succeed instead of pulling me down.

Last Edit: 09 Jan 2019 04:13 by Issac. Reason: I didn't realize that was the message

Re: I hope, I want, I will 09 Jan 2019 04:24 #338315

  • Hashem Help Me
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Welcome. It should be with hatzlocha!
Feel free to contact me at michelgelner@gmail.com

My threads: Lessons Learned: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/335248-Lessons-Learned

                    My Story and G-d Bless GYE: guardyoureyes.com/forum/17-Balei-Battims-Forum/303036-My-story-and-G-d-bless-GYE

Re: I hope, I want, I will 09 Jan 2019 10:32 #338321

  • Thistimeillwin
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Go for it!! Reporting here is really a motivator. We're all cheering you on!!

Re: I hope, I want, I will 10 Jan 2019 04:44 #338343

  • Issac
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I hoped, I slipped,  but still chugging


I think that's a bit more realistic. 

I didn't make it past day one.
I think I eliminated one venue that tripped me up. But I find it so hard when I'm just overall down on myself. Sometimes I'm just really not interested in fighting and very ready to just tune out with distractions and then lust. This self control zach is really not pashut.   

going forward I'm going to focus on smaller narrower things I can do and hopefully we'll get better at weathering stormy weather. Bl"n will keep on updating chart and posting. 

Wow it feels great just to share this. Shkoyach everybody

Let my mistakes empower me to succeed instead of pulling me down.

Re: I hope, I want, I will 10 Jan 2019 10:31 #338347

  • Thistimeillwin
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Whatever you do, keep posting, and we will all stand behind you.  It's 'not pashut' like you said, but we're here for complex strategies.

בלא תחבולות יפול עם ותשועה ברוב יועץ (משלי יא, יד)

Re: I hope, I want, I will 10 Jan 2019 14:35 #338351

  • Dave M
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You can do it Issac.  All beginnings are hard.

Re: I hope, I want, I will 10 Jan 2019 17:26 #338358

  • Issac
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It"s ok if you're going downhill as long as you're still holding the wheel


Day 2 - B"h great. After falling i wasn't sure about what to fix. I felt that anything wouldn't be enough. So, i decided to pick one or two small things that I can do today and b"h i feel in control. It's great!   
  
1) I will bl"n print out part of gye hand book and read a bit before I get online

2)I had a number on my phone that allows you to listen to the radio. I realized that a)I was sometimes trying to get triggered from bad music b) I was it using at night in bed and keeping myself awake wasting time and boredom leads to bad thoughts
 Good news - I deleted the number from my contacts and recent calls

3)I use a kosher computer office but got around parts of the filter and I somehow convinced myself that no one saw my screen.
Mekabel - Only use one of the main very visible computers and remember: Do you really want the frum guy next do you to find out what you"re doing? 
     (not so sure about this situation but I think it's ok for now. If anybody thinks it's not safe let me know. shkoyach)

Let my mistakes empower me to succeed instead of pulling me down.

Last Edit: 10 Jan 2019 17:29 by Issac.

Re: I hope, I want, I will 11 Jan 2019 03:23 #338378

  • Hashem Help Me
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Excellent! You sound like one serious honest fellow!
Feel free to contact me at michelgelner@gmail.com

My threads: Lessons Learned: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/335248-Lessons-Learned

                    My Story and G-d Bless GYE: guardyoureyes.com/forum/17-Balei-Battims-Forum/303036-My-story-and-G-d-bless-GYE

Re: I hope, I want, I will 12 Jan 2019 20:16 #338396

  • ColinColin
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Most offices have an IT guy who knows exactly who has looked at what and on what computer.
This IT guy need not even be in the office, he can check things over the internet from another country if need be!

Re: I hope, I want, I will 14 Jan 2019 23:32 #338458

  • Issac
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Day 5. B"h still clean. The initial excitement wore off a bit and I feel a little down but not really because of this(I think). But I"m trying to find other healthier outlets to do. 
I really should go the gym I have membership but L'choirah i also need to use it

Let my mistakes empower me to succeed instead of pulling me down.

Re: I hope, I want, I will 15 Jan 2019 03:10 #338464

  • Markz
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Issac wrote on 14 Jan 2019 23:32:
Day 5. B"h still clean. The initial excitement wore off a bit and I feel a little down but not really because of this(I think). But I"m trying to find other healthier outlets to do. 
I really should go the gym I have membership but L'choirah i also need to use it

Dee mit lk
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Re: I hope, I want, I will 15 Jan 2019 03:53 #338465

  • EscapeArtist
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Welcome Issac; Hatzlochoh Rabba!

Here's a tactic that helps tremendously for setting goals. You probably won't do it, but do it anyways 'cause it works:
Write down your goal, along w/ the reasons for setting this goal (read often to keep your enthusiasm up), plus a list of "what ifs", think in advance what you should do if tough scenarios arise. Keep a log of what went wrong & what can be done to fix the issue. Specify a reward for every few days of staying strong (i.e. download a song, eat a doughnut, splurge on the hotter mikveh...). 
(Based on a lecture from R' Avi Shulman)
My longest streak (87 days) was with this mehalech.

Hatzlochoh Nochamuhl!

Re: I hope, I want, I will 17 Jan 2019 23:18 #338528

  • Issac
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Thank you Escape Artist. That's helpful I"m going to try that

Let my mistakes empower me to succeed instead of pulling me down.

Re: I hope, I want, I will 17 Jan 2019 23:21 #338529

  • Issac
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Day 8   
    B"h still clean and kosher. 
   I guess feeling up to it is not a prerequisite for doing it
   

Let my mistakes empower me to succeed instead of pulling me down.

Re: I hope, I want, I will 18 Jan 2019 18:02 #338536

  • Issac
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Fell - Made it to day 8.
trying to write down reason why I want to stop.
I guess I'm not sure. 
I thought it was because it's a terrible aveirah but it's probably because I'm socially embarrassed (even though no one really knows) and because it makes me feel very low and unconnected.
 I guess I'm been fighting so long that I'm not sure exactly why i'm fighting just that I am.

Well, B"h still here and working on it.

Let my mistakes empower me to succeed instead of pulling me down.

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