WannabeFree wrote on 27 May 2018 07:53:

The site promises that Taphsic works

From what I gather on the forum, it has helped a small percent of gyes when combined with other tools. On its own it's virtually useless (with some rare exceptions)

90 day chart is the same

Day 22

I was told that just sharing the wins isn't the point, but it gives me encouragement so that I don't dwell only on the losses. I had a reasonably good day today. There are a few specific women that I meet in passing on a regular basis and who trigger me. I was given some good advice to daven for these women for good health, parnossa, etc. and so to make them more real for me and not objectify them. Today I met one of them and I feel like this advice helped me pull through without her triggering me as much as usual and I was able to continue a day with less lusting than usual. So thanks to GYE! 

sharing the wins is a great thing - the point of the forum is to help each other and grow together..
keep up the great work and keep sharing

Day 23

I want to share something with you. While watching porn and masturabating was something quite regular for me, one of my bigger struggles has been simply touching women that I happen to walk past it put myself purposely in close proximity to a woman so that she would be forced to touch me as we go past each other etc. After consultation with the admins I added this issue to be included as fall. I have found this to be more difficult than not masturbating or watching porn, but it is an exhilirating feeling to see that I have managed three weeks nonetheless! 

Keep up the good work!

As an aside, I wondered a couple of times, how come when I ride the subway and it is crowded, I would never dare to push on where woman are standing and always leave some space between me and a woman, lest she suspect me of being a pervert or charge me with sexual harassment. Yet, woman have no issue pushing in to me, etc... (Not going to write out everything that they do that affects me).
Is the man always the instigator of sexual harassment???

Day 24

BH uneventful (so far).

I must say that whenever I have an urge to surf the web these, I try to open up GYE first and just get caught here. I think its addictive   On a more serious note, trying to see myself through other people's problems actually helps me.  When I try give advice or share what worked for me it reinforces those things by me and (hopefully) becomes more a part of me.

lionking wrote on 29 May 2018 17:57:

Lets be honest here, how many times would a "regular" man complain if he were "taken advantage" of by a woman?! 

Day 25

Today started off ok, even quite strong, but later on I landed up waiting in the car for someone for an hour.  While waiting I couldn't help but look at every woman that walked past instead of keeping my eyes down.  And tonight I watched a movie and afterwards looked up more pictures of one of the actresses (not erotic, just a search on the name. Is that a fall? I hope not...)  Not feeling great about it right now, but as Mattisyahu puts it: "One day, one day, one da-a-ay" at at time, right? 

I know there are a number of more tools that I can use to protect myself, but I don't really want to let go of the lust completely. That's really the issue here (or at least one of them).  I installed the CovenantEyes filter for my computer, but I can still watch movies and lust after the actresses, just can't go that extra porn mile, which is good obviously, but doesn't stop me lusting.

Day 28

I've had a few ups and downs in the last few days, but nothing major to report b"h.  Here's to the rest of today going well!

Later:

Had a couple of difficult situations this afternoon. One of those women that I meet every so often that trigger me and our non-Jewish cleaner came in dressed less tzniusly than usual (she's usually dressed relatively tzniusly). Without GYE I definitely would have fallen today... 

Day 29

Going through the day, knowing that I want to tell everyone how my day went helps to keep me focused. I had a few trying times today, however I never allowed the lust to take over today, b"h. Another "trick" I was taught recently (thank you Hashem Help Me) was to start the day off by saying something like: "Thank you Hashem for all the beautiful things you gave us in the world to enjoy. However the beauty of the woman is off limits to me, even if she is dressed provocatively, as this was not Your intention. Please help me to keep clean today."  Also I have started communicating with a partner, so hopefully it will strengthen both of us.

Day 30

So I should be happy with managing this far, but I'm in a bit of a depressed mood today. Not sure why. This morning (until I got back home) went well. I'm feeling the urge to act out more than usual, maybe withdrawal symptoms. I managed to distract myself for a while, but it keeps coming back.  I've hardly done any work today either because of it. I keep on opening up different web pages (nothing terrible; I have WebChaver) to distract myself. My work is all on my computer and I can't get focused on it today. This happens many days and why I haven't completed my studies so that I can get a job.

When i experience withdrawal i pick up the phone and call one of the chevra. The advice, chizuk, accountability, and simply the ability to share are extremely therapeutic.

When i find myself feeling depressed one thing that is helpful to me is being mindful that i'm feeling depressed  accepting the fact that I'm feeling depressed and practice compassion to yourself it's ok to feel this way.

Again just don't try to fight your feelings becouse you will loose just accept them as feelings (sometimes we get good feeling other times awful ones. But there all part of life) and do a activity that will help such as taking a walk. Going to the gym calling the chevra or doing some mindfullness exercises.

Very well said!

I've seen mindfulness mentioned a number of times. Can you explain more about what it means? Thanks.