try toker.fm for a large amount of music available for free. it is not organized in albums, but in topics. as the site is in Hebrew you will need a slight knowledge of Hebrew, if you are having difficulty, feel free to pm me.
Hatzlacha

yosef10 wrote on 08 Dec 2017 04:47:

Being hard on yourself at your mothers request to eat a cookie needs your Rebbi to suggest that. She doesn't really need to know about your private commitment like this. Next time she offers you one, take it and say thanks!

About therapy - please re-read your thread from the beginning and decide for yourself if you need it

Hatzlacha ;-)

If you listen to music on Soundcloud and Bandcamp  on a web page on a computer you don't have to view much in the way of images, normally just an album cover and soundwave.
They are free too.
So you could open them, then open another window and just listen to the music without the images being on show.
This could work for youtube too where you could minimise the youtube window and have another window open while the video plays.
I don't know how they work on an app though.
I do not know what music you are listening to but if it is Jewish music the videos are usually without any controversial images, just a few guys with white shirts and beards playing instruments. 

Do not be excessively hard on yourself.
Discipline is essential, but not punishing yourself.
Have joy in your life...that is a key component of Judaism, and the Breslov Hasidic approach is very much about this.
There is a Rabbi called Rabbi Lazer Brody who works with Rabbi Shalom Arush, they write about joy a lot and explain the teachings of Rebbe Nachman of Breslov.

First of all you're amazing! You basically did all you could & should, with tremendous results! Congratulations!
If you feel it's really important to you, maybe watch football with a friend etc., I think in that way the nisayon is much less.
Also, there are many free Jewish music apps, try them. I think if you'll like one of them you'll be really happy..

Keep on! You really inspired me!

Good luck!