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TOPIC: Reflections 23885 Views

Re: Reflections 10 May 2017 02:05 #312751

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Wearing tzitzis at night is a segula for shmira in these inyonim. However when we are in the heat of the addiction/terrible habit, realize that the tzitzis are not a magical solution. In fact sometimes it can backfire by causing one to be hyperfocused and anxious about the issue. When I was a bochur I tried every segula in the book, and just ended up m**** more and more and more and more. There was no GYE in those days, no rebbi/therapist to talk to, in fact no one at all to share with. If I recall correctly I unfortunately sometimes used the tzitzis to rub.........  I am not trying to dissuade you from wearing shluf tzitzis. Just if you do, do it in conjunction with GYE, speaking to people, involving a rebbi/mentor, and learning how to relieve anxiety in other ways.
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Re: Reflections 10 May 2017 02:11 #312752

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Trouble wrote on 09 May 2017 21:36:

Ihavenostrength wrote on 09 May 2017 21:01:

Chaimel wrote on 09 May 2017 17:37:
Thinking of buying a pair of undershirt tzitzis to wear at night in order to help keep my thoughts more pure, thoughts anyone?

I think that leaving your phone outside the bedroom may be even more effective. (I use the tzitzis to tie my pants closed, works wonders.)

Sorry about your fall. I'm just getting up myself. Let's walk together. No need for perfection, only progress. Seems like you're making alot of it B"H. 

Tzitizis never stopped me, but hey, don't think it can hurt. 

Perhaps use your tie or belt and have your hands tied to the bed posts.

Reminds me of this old thread...
!אנא עבדא דקודשא בריך הוא

וּבְיָדְךָ כֹּחַ וּגְבוּרָה וּבְיָדְךָ לְגַדֵּל וּלְחַזֵּק לַכֹּל


"If it would be so easy there wouldn't be a GYE, but if it would be impossible there also wouldn't be a GYE."
"Sometimes a hard decision leads to an easier outcome."
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Re: Reflections 10 May 2017 02:27 #312756

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cordnoy wrote on 09 May 2017 17:48:

Chaimel wrote on 09 May 2017 17:37:
Thinking of buying a pair of undershirt tzitzis to wear at night in order to help keep my thoughts more pure, thoughts anyone?

Try it; let us know please.

DoDo the tzitzis help durin' the day?

why no one has mentioned the Mitzva of Milah that is worn by day and night

I wonder if that has helped anyone? 
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Re: Reflections 10 May 2017 02:54 #312759

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Ihavenostrength wrote on 09 May 2017 21:01:

Chaimel wrote on 09 May 2017 17:37:
Thinking of buying a pair of undershirt tzitzis to wear at night in order to help keep my thoughts more pure, thoughts anyone?

I think that leaving your phone outside the bedroom may be even more effective. (I use the tzitzis to tie my pants closed, works wonders.)

Sorry about your fall. I'm just getting up myself. Let's walk together. No need for perfection, only progress. Seems like you're making alot of it B"H. 

Tzitizis never stopped me, but hey, don't think it can hurt. 

 Bh I've been clean of xxx for a very long while (a year or so) and have my phone filtered well and only use it for GYE email etc, if you think in general it would help (i.e. Falling asleep faster etc) I'm glad to try it

in regard to the tzitzis I wasn't thinking of it as a shmira more of an extra layer of awareness


your posting and kind words are much appreciated!

"Trouble" post=312723 date=1494365788 catid=4

Perhaps use your tie or belt and have your hands tied to the bed posts.

That and sleep in an ice bath, thanks for the much needed laugh!

"Hashem Help Me" post=312751 date=1494381928 catid=4

Wearing tzitzis at night is a segula for shmira in these inyonim. However when we are in the heat of the addiction/terrible habit, realize that the tzitzis are not a magical solution. In fact sometimes it can backfire by causing one to be hyperfocused and anxious about the issue. When I was a bochur I tried every segula in the book, and just ended up m**** more and more and more and more. There was no GYE in those days, no rebbi/therapist to talk to, in fact no one at all to share with. If I recall correctly I unfortunately sometimes used the tzitzis to rub.........  I am not trying to dissuade you from wearing shluf tzitzis. Just if you do, do it in conjunction with GYE, speaking to people, involving a rebbi/mentor, and learning how to relieve anxiety in other ways.


Thanks for taking the time to write it out and I get your point, i don't really view it as a safeguard per se but more of another thing to draw extra awareness and you're absolutely right that I need to continue using other resources to get back up
i spent an hr on the phone with someone partially in regard to this.
Last Edit: 10 May 2017 03:41 by Chaimel.

Re: Reflections 10 May 2017 16:53 #312807

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Chaimel sorry to hear that you had a fall. Your honesty in sharing with us is amazing!! Any ideas what led to the fall? 

As far as tzitzis at night go. My rosh yeshiva in israel was a big proponent of wearing them. I assume for this reason but I don't know. However, my Posek and Rav is very against because he thinks it is a bizui to the tzitzis (ie. I think he means getting them ruined from a wet dream. Unless he just means getting them exceptionally wrinkled from sleeping) I'm not saying what to do just sharing what I've come across. 

KUTGW

fall = not good
fall + lesson learned = growth

Re: Reflections 10 May 2017 18:42 #312815

Chaimel wrote on 08 May 2017 17:12:


Generally at night these days i start heading to sleep and take out my phone to get on GYE before my mind may start wondering. But then I start typing a post trying to keep a clean mind and as I'm typing in the back of my head I'm lusting away!!! Aaaaahhhhh!

Two things: 1. Going on GYE before bed may not be a good idea, as it brings your awareness to a very specific place. 2. Yes, I think keeping your phone out of the bedroom helps one fall asleep. Removing anything​ that could possibly be a distraction to sleeping is useful. 

On a somewhat random note: I've become accustomed to thinking in only three ways, 1. The task at hand 2. Worrying/strategizing 3. Lusting. 

I've realized recently that one can also just think about cool stuff for fun. 

Last night my mind started turning to lusting. First I thought ok, I'm not going to actively think about any if this. Then I thought hey, maybe I'll try thinking about something cool. So I thought about a trip I had and the different places I visited. Eventually I got tired and fell asleep. 
If you are really bored, you can check out my original thread here: guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/305558-Journey-of-one-day-at-a-time 

"Think good and it will be good!"
Last Edit: 10 May 2017 18:51 by Ihavestrength.

Re: Reflections 10 May 2017 18:59 #312819

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Ihavenostrength wrote on 10 May 2017 18:42:


 Removing anything​ that could possibly be a distraction to sleeping is useful. 


I will tell my wife that.
i'm all about that (substantial) bass, no trouble ....

if you're looking for trouble, you can email me @trouble69gye@outlook.com

Re: Reflections 10 May 2017 19:00 #312820

Your posts genuinely cause me to laugh out loud. 
If you are really bored, you can check out my original thread here: guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/305558-Journey-of-one-day-at-a-time 

"Think good and it will be good!"

Re: Reflections 10 May 2017 19:03 #312822

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Ihavenostrength wrote on 10 May 2017 19:00:
Your posts genuinely cause me to laugh out loud. 

That's what they are there for.

Karma, I don't care for, but I crave the "thank yous."
i'm all about that (substantial) bass, no trouble ....

if you're looking for trouble, you can email me @trouble69gye@outlook.com

Re: Reflections 11 May 2017 06:05 #312862

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Trouble wrote on 10 May 2017 19:03:

Ihavenostrength wrote on 10 May 2017 19:00:
Your posts genuinely cause me to laugh out loud. 

That's what they are there for.

Karma, I don't care for, but I crave the "thank yous."

Well "thank you!"

sorry for not updating sooner been tied up with work and dating. Bh on day 2 but still seeking out a better strategy. I started the tzitzis last night and  time will tell if that helps.
Last Edit: 11 May 2017 06:08 by Chaimel.

Re: Reflections 11 May 2017 06:14 #312863

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TzedekChaim wrote on 10 May 2017 16:53:
Chaimel sorry to hear that you had a fall. Your honesty in sharing with us is amazing!! Any ideas what led to the fall? 

As far as tzitzis at night go. My rosh yeshiva in israel was a big proponent of wearing them. I assume for this reason but I don't know. However, my Posek and Rav is very against because he thinks it is a bizui to the tzitzis (ie. I think he means getting them ruined from a wet dream. Unless he just means getting them exceptionally wrinkled from sleeping) I'm not saying what to do just sharing what I've come across. 

KUTGW

fall = not good
fall + lesson learned = growth

What I'd assume led to the fall is the girl I'm dating being on my mind, I'm not really sure how to balance being 'in it' but not lust all day.
i started discussing it with someone competent today but still haven't finished.

im particularly stressed out because I shared the depression situation with my date and she still hasn't finished discussing it with her Rebbetzin.

bh I love being busy but work is getting to me.

in regards to tzitzis I asked and was told it's ok to wear em directly on the skin and ok at night, interesting that he'd say that only because you wear them in the bathroom 


THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR POSTING AND CHEERING ME ON!!
Last Edit: 11 May 2017 06:20 by Chaimel.

Re: Reflections 11 May 2017 10:29 #312869

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KOMT!!!

The only awareness I get from my tzitzis is how messed up the knots get over time
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Re: Reflections 12 May 2017 10:01 #312945

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I started the tzitzis last night and  time will tell if that helps.


I personally do wear tzitzis at night, it never stopped me from acting out. As far as Segulas go, this one has it's sources in the Gemora Menuchos Daf 44a.



תניא א''ר נתן אין לך כל מצוה קלה שכתובה בתורה שאין מתן שכרה בעה''ז, ולעה''ב איני יודע כמה. צא ולמד ממצות ציצית, מעשה באדם אחד שהיה זהיר במצות ציצית, שמע שיש זונה בכרכי הים שנוטלת ד' מאות זהובים בשכרה, שיגר לה ארבע מאות זהובים וקבע לה זמן, כשהגיע זמנו בא וישב על הפתח נכנסה שפחתה ואמרה לה אותו אדם ששיגר ליך ד' מאות זהובים בא וישב על הפתח, אמרה היא יכנס, נכנס, הציעה לו ז' מטות שש של כסף ואחת של זהב ובין כל אחת ואחת סולם של כסף ועליונה של זהב, עלתה וישבה על גבי עליונה כשהיא ערומה ואף הוא עלה לישב ערום כנגדה, באו ד' ציציותיו וטפחו לו על פניו נשמט וישב לו ע''ג קרקע ואף היא נשמטה וישבה ע''ג קרקע, אמרה לו גפה של רומי שאיני מניחתך עד שתאמר לי מה מום ראית בי, אמר לה העבודה שלא ראיתי אשה יפה כמותך, אלא מצוה אחת ציונו ה' אלהינו וציצית שמה, וכתיב בה {במדבר טו-מא} אני ה' אלהיכם שתי פעמים, אני הוא שעתיד ליפרע ואני הוא שעתיד לשלם שכר עכשיו נדמו עלי כד' עדים, אמרה לו איני מניחך עד שתאמר לי מה שמך ומה שם עירך ומה שם רבך ומה שם מדרשך שאתה למד בו תורה, כתב ונתן בידה עמדה וחילקה כל נכסיה שליש למלכות ושליש לעניים ושליש נטלה בידה חוץ מאותן מצעות ובאת לבית מדרשו של ר' חייא אמרה לו רבי צוה עלי ויעשוני גיורת אמר לה בתי שמא עיניך נתת באחד מן התלמידים הוציאה כתב מידה ונתנה לו אמר לה לכי זכי במקחך אותן מצעות שהציעה לו באיסור הציעה לו בהיתר זה מתן שכרו בעה''ז ולעה''ב איני יודע כמה
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Re: Reflections 14 May 2017 01:29 #313001

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Gut voch!
checking in, tzitzis be rocking and bh another good few days, been very busy and thanks to all who reached out!

Re: Reflections 15 May 2017 04:28 #313083

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Moving along bh, day 6
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