I've been up and down quite a lot lately. Needed a real yeshua on Shabbos. Made a hachlota to stay clean for this week. I didn't get the  yeshua but am planning to keep the hachlota in any case. Will take it one week at a time. Wish me hatzlocha. Thanks

Welcome!

Keep us posted please, and maybe share your struggle too, and we can Truck together!

Welcome. You're in the right place.

First of all please take time to read through the GYE handbook.  No two people are the same, everyone has a slightly different set of circumstances, but we all share this problem and since we share the problem we can share the solution too. The book is written in a general way so it can apply to everyone. I found it helpful to really think about what the book was saying and how it applied to me and my own life.

This is a very common problem nowadays, you're far from the only one to deal with it. The word addict gets thrown around quite a lot, but most people who struggle with this issue are not addicts, just normal people with a normal yetzer hora. Which is good. Some people have come to realise that they really are addicts because their situation got gradually worse and worse despite working on it. When I say worse I mean, in frequency, severity or just feeling worse after every slip. If that is the case we may need more than GYE, which most people find to be therapy or SA or both. But I wouldn't jump to that conclusion about you. Many people have overcome this challenge right here on GYE using the tools in the handbook.

So stick around. Keep posting, keep reading and keep on trucking.

Welcome,

B'hatzlachah

Welcome!

Give your yeshua a hachlota and truck on with us GYE-ers as we decide on salvation along the monster highway!!!

Thanks all for you good words of chizuk. So far so good. Not sure if I should being this up here, but I find myself drawn to porn every time I have a fight with my wife. Kind of a revenge thing. Not that it hurts her in any practical way that I can see. The only one I'm hurting is myself. I'm not the sort to lash out at her. Even though she does at me. So my coping mechanism is (sometimes) to find solace in porn. I know this is not a valid excuse. I'm just sharing my struggle.

hamabes wrote on 06 Feb 2017 19:33:

Makes perfect sense.

KnowI the feelin' well.

hamabes wrote on 06 Feb 2017 19:33:

Yeah, that red-faced rage, seething resentment, and wish to throw it all away. Mmmm. Been there. Ugh.

It might help to try think of why it actually does hurt her. Imagine she finds out one day. Oh boy.

I am big believer in the subconscious.
Yes she might not have a clue consciously that I am hurting her and lashing out.
But she knows it inside. Because we are connected like that

When one is asked to write a list as to why he wants to stop pornin', I'm sure that "hurtin' his wife" is on the list.

WhenI one is asked to write a list as to the thoughts or actions contributin' to his recovery, I'm not sure that "hurtin' his wife" is on the list.

ButI, ya' never know.