"I don't go looking for trouble, trouble finds me!"

Aaaaaaaand another kvetchy day here 
​Everything I say is taken in a negative way or as if I am not happy why the ...... 
Am i really so messed up that I can't see the negativity I give off????????????

​Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Maybe try saying or doing something that is undeniably positive.
(you asked)

MayanHamisgaber wrote on 17 Mar 2017 10:31:

I I think you're seeing it right now. What would happen if you say exactly what you just said to your wife – that you don't realize that you're coming off so negative and that you would love to fix it?

Day 90

I am not going to celebrate as I do not consider myself an addict, this did not feel like a challenge.
Maybe if jI make it thru bein hazmanim clean that would be exciting.
Don't get me wrong, I feel that staying clean for 90 days is an accomplishment, jut I do not think that as a non addict it is the same as for addicts.....heck this might not even be the first time reaching 90 days for me I never kept track....

I would like to thank gye/Ya'akov and all the wonderful members here that have helped me get to this point and look forward to continue working on myself together.

B'hatzlacha

MayanHamisgaber wrote on 19 Mar 2017 00:26:

So I'll have to celebrate your guardyoureyes milestone all by myself 

I highly recommend you note what tools you feel have helped you on the first leg of your journey as I did on my non addict 90th day post (click on "my story" below)

Thanks for being part of the crew!
And much blessings on your next leg of the Trucking mile 

Mazel tov Mayan! Even if you don't celebrate, at least give yourself a pat on the back! Sforim tell us the roshei taivos of the "bad malach's name" is Siyum Mesechta Ain La'asos. That when one finishes a masechta, he tries to make sure one doesn't celebrate with a siyum. Don't let the mesayem who worked so hard bring out the geshmak. Mayan, of course we all respect your personal decision, but maybe do something, even very small, to mark an incredible accomplishment. The world out there is full of shmutz. The language, culture, entertainment, mode of dress (or lack f dress), and the general way of thinking, make you a hero for standing up and saying NO. May Hashem bless you that the mayan ha'brocha flow over with haspaos tovos for you and your family. 

Mazel Tov!

MayanHamisgaber wrote on 19 Mar 2017 00:26:

MAZ--   .... wait a second. I'm no addict so I won't wish you a Mazal tov.

May you continue to have many more non accomplishments, one non accomplishment at a time.  

But seriously, what you did is tremendous, no matter how "easy" it was for you. Every time that you were challenged & you won the battle, you strengthened yourself and gave a spiritual boost to every Jew in the world. So I'd like to give a personal thank you & keep it up!

Good deal,
Keep it going!

Thanks for the chizuk everyone

​I know I sound unenthusiastic but to get excited is dangerous for me so unfortunately I must downplay this a little.

Markz: the tools I have used were chizuk emails, posting when in need of advice or just to vent, emailing/chatting with "freinds" here for the same reasons and also to just try to be normal, listening to the recordings of Dov's calls, some of the audio shiurim and vidoes on the site
And the most important tool DAVENING TO HASHEM TO HELP ME 

As it seems that n aside I originally thought that my 90 days fell out on Monday but looking last night it seems that today is 90 days
So what you ask I"ll tell you How cool is that.....

I'm glad that people are turning to their Higher Power and asking Him to do what they cannot.

MayanHamisgaber wrote on 19 Mar 2017 12:36:

Fist bump from our Father. How cool is that? cold mikva cool

Mazeltov!!!!

Enjoy the mikva experience.

Don't lust it and break your stride