hi everybody,

just started the 90 days program, and i want to know if there has been success stories with it.
if you did the 90 days and were successful, PLEASE SPEAK UP.

thanks 

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Was that loud enough???

And check "Free Towing" below for more stories ;-)

thatslife wrote on 18 Dec 2016 14:56:

First off, I think it's great that you're asking questions and not blindly doing something. Seeing what works for others is an excellent tool/attitude for life.

Here's my take: The 90 day program isn't a 90 day program. If it's a 90 day program then it won't be successful. Life isn't 90 days long and victory over lust isn't 90 days long. I have seen countless times someone pass 90 days and then act out later. The line in the sand that is drawn is quite misleading. I don't believe that surpassing 90 days means that someone isn't going to act out. 
But if someone utilizes the tools of the 90 day program then they may definitely have success. Life is one day at a time and if the tools are used one day at a time they can be really helpful.

I would give it a shot and make an honest effort. But the 90 day challenge doesn't mean just entering the "race." It means doing something different than before. For some that means daily posting or calling other strugglers. For others that means reading various literature the GYE and others recommend. Still others set boundaries on when they use their smartphones. Some do all the above and more. But regardless there needs to be a change in action in order to actually change. Einstein said the definition of insanity is doing the same thing twice and expecting a different result. I find that to be true. I need to change to change.

Hatzlacha Rabah and I'm glad to be of service.

Shlomo24 wrote on 18 Dec 2016 17:12:

Basically it's a Siman not a Sibah.
and a glimpse of what you can achieve. Like staying up Shavuos night.

but am i gonna feel a difference after 90 days, will it be easier for me to hold back from acting out?
its just that i see so many gye'ers doing the 90 days and then i see them fall again....

Nothing will guarantee sobriety. It's a program of ODAAT - one day at a time.
Will you feel different? I didn't when I hit 90 some time ago. It's just a challenge backed with scientific evidence that neural pathways are mended somewhat. But if you're going to try and repair a nuclear-fallout town, you'll need a LOT more than 90 days....
Though I see it more as an identifier. People with 90 days have a lot more weight to their words. They've worked the system and figured it out somewhat. They have more to offer, more to give.

its really quite depressing to hear that i'm gonna have to fight this my entire life. i just want to kick the habit and be done with it

thatslife wrote:

Maybe life hasn't begun yet

Dovs call is starting in 10 minutes - don't miss it. He's a guy that may be able to explain to you what life is about - and he lives it - thanks to our addiction!!

II don't know how to quote two posts, but....

In your opening remarks, you give a call out (almost as if you are expecting nobody to respond), "hey, did anyone do 90 days and was successful?" Then, you give an absolute, "i see so many who do it and then fall." 

Why is one a question and one a fact?

I'd also stop worrying about 90 days and focus on today, but that's just me.

B'hatzlachah

thatslife wrote on 19 Dec 2016 13:47:

I thought the same thing early in my recovery. What you said is not accurate. You have no idea if you will be struggling your whole life. First off, you might die tomorrow, not to be morbid. Secondly, I've heard people say that Hashem lifted the obsession to lust from them. You aren't qualified to say what you said, you simply don't know that to be true. One day at a time, buddy. And if you're going to struggle, then you better the hell start changing! If anything that's a reason to work on yourself.

Shlomo24 wrote on 18 Dec 2016 17:12:

II wrote a practical difference on my tryin' thread based upon your eloquent post. I know not how to link to that usin' my phone.

cordnoy: why do you think these two statements are contradictory?

i liked that answer. just finished with the call was very informative 

thatslife wrote on 19 Dec 2016 14:55:

II didn't say they were contradictory.

I merely pointed out that you are choosin' what is questionable and what is factual.