Today is 412, Thank you Hashem for causing me to reach here. Thank you for helping me yesterday and thus far today. I love you!

Thank you HashemHelpMe for your encouraging words. I really appreciate it. (way past the first trimester, but that's okay, because Hashem set it up this way so that I can have the opportunity to accept it without any conditions or strings attached such as an end date.)

ToDAY was pretty good. I had to drag myself out of bed in the morning (some residual negativity from the previous day, that's fine, I'm really passed it now). After shacharis I had a quick conversation with a friend of mine and it left me grinning ear to ear. Then I realized that so much if not all of my angst is just from swimming around in my own and often times negative echo chamber in my head. Instead of trying to reason my way out of a negative mood I really should just pick up the phone (there's a chiddush ) and call someone. It's amazing how a simple conversation can pull us into a better mood.

I was in the elevator on two occasions over the last 24 hours. I decided to say something both times instead of just remaining in awkward silence. (it turned out to be some of the most interesting elevator rides of my life)

the first one was a man who was on his way to hang with a friend and was concerned about the weather. We chatted and I, who had been driving all day in the clear sky, told him that it was really nice outside, which gave him a big smile.

The second one was a woman (who was in pajamas, and I swear was in the middle of buttoning them when the doors opened for me to enter. I actaully didn't look or stare in the direction until it was clear she was decent.) without facing her directly I asked how her day was, she said nice, I commented on the weather being so nice these passed couple of days, and she got all enthusiastic about the weather. Then she added in a sad way as we were about to depart that well winter is coming and its going to get real cold soon. Too bad, she said, I wish it were so nice the whole year. I replied, then we wouldn't appreciate the nice weather. She looked at me and said in a mindblown kindof way, you are so right, Wow! She thanked me and went on her way.

These two incidences aren't too crazy, but they show that if I step out of my little mind world and into His world there are a host of interesting things out there and nice people within it.

Thank you GYE, I love you guys!

-Hatzlacha rabba All and keep the focus on all the good we do/done and not on all the good we haven't done. (maybe I'll elaborate at a later date; just something I learned today)