Welcome, Guest
Scientific studies show that it takes 90 days to break an addictive pattern in the mind. Start your own Log of your journey to 90 days! Post here to update us on your status and to give each other chizuk to stay strong!
Reply Topic
New Topic
  • Page:
  • 1
  • 2

TOPIC: Forum Upgrades 5909 Views

Forum Upgrades 22 Aug 2016 04:18 #294207

  • Markz
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 8258
  • Karma: 428
i have an idea that users who passed 100 days should have an option to either show their streak as they can now, or show a specific milestone they passed, eg "Passed 90 days"

I do not want to continue showing 'current streak' of 90 days which is erroneous, and my intent was only to state that I passed that milestone

I AM NOT INTERESTED IN SHOWING MY STREAK OF 370+days, SINCE IF THEORETICALLY I MAY POSSIBLY CONTINUE BE"H CLEAN (with my daily tools as elaborated on my thread), for many years, NEW MEMBERS MAY GET THE IMPRESSION THAT I DON'T "STRUGGLE", and I'm really and truly sad to tell you that looks can kill
stillgoing wrote:

markz wrote:
Why is my day count on 90?
I wanted to share what I dscs'd this morning on the chat with Guideme, which verified my thought process, and feel free to respond to this post if you like

______________
GuideMe:  BTW, why is alwais says your'e on 90 days?
Me:  I didn't update it 150 days ago, cos i like constantly gettin Mazel tovs
GuideMe:  Mazel tov mark!!!
Me:  Real reason?
Me:  I have a feeling when newcomers see someone is on 2500 days (as there are some great guys like that here), they think - oh cool, he doesn't struggle, I'll talk to someone else, and I want them to be comfortable talking to me [ed. stupid idea]
GuideMe:  It's an interesting thought
Me:  Debatable...
GuideMe:  i think it's also sacry. talk to a guy with billion days
Me:  Why
GuideMe:  cuz it's like: oh, he dosen't care about me - he is so importent.
Me:  You're not explaining it right. What bothers you?
GuideMe:  i guess it's hard for me to fully express myself in English
Me:  Write it in Spanish או בעברית - אני מעוניין לדעת
GuideMe:  גם בעברית קשה להסביר 
שאדם ותיק, הוא כאילו חשוב. אי אפשר "סתם" להטריד אותוi can't just call him and say "Hi! my mom pissed me off so i need to talk to someone"
Me:  אבל הוא ממציא עצמו לך
GuideMe:  but Dov is super nice guy . sure, but still. it's Probably lack of self confidence or something
Me:  I hear you a little...

Mazel tov!!!

I actually think that GM makes a lot of sense.  It Can be intimidating. Sure people are nice, but many of us feel so stupid and ashamed at ourselves after a fall, we don't know how we gave in Again, and we imagine that everyone else will judge us for it. Only someone else suffering from the same insane cravings can really understand.  Now, it's true that many people with high clean counts still understand or feel those struggles, but when those high numbers are staring you in the face, you kindof feel that they are beyond all that garbage and are on to bigger and better things.  


And then there were some gate crashers on the last 2 pages of my thread that were heatedly broaching the "Current streak" Topic, Please check them out too

i want to ask the.guard to include this option that I raised

Guys please share your thoughts
My Story---------Dov Quotes




FREE LUST TRUCK TOWING
Click HERE to checkout;
• 100 Day Success Stories: cordnoy, Dov, Gevura and more...
• Awesome Threads Saved for You
• Cast Your Vote

➣ GYE Plenty Solutions
➣ The Mark of Torah - Lust Chizuk
➣ Nice Trucking Story
Last Edit: 25 Aug 2016 22:11 by Markz.

Re: Current Streak, or - PASSED 90 DAYS 22 Aug 2016 15:54 #294215

  • shlomo24
  • Current streak: 1 day
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 2213
  • Karma: 135
I think my opinion on this is known. I think that the option you present is a decent one. However, I know the guard's opinion on this also, and that is that people with large day counts serve as inspiration for the rest of the oilam. I do agree that it can lead to objectification, but I also hear the guard's opinion. It's just not for me, because I have to get off my high horse and also realize that it's ODAAT and not any more than that.
If you're an LGBTQ or LGBTQ-questioning person and looking for someone who can understand you, feel free to reach out. I promise no judgement and to try and listen the best I can. 

Email: iam24zman@gmail.com

Re: Current Streak, or - PASSED 90 DAYS 22 Aug 2016 18:58 #294230

  • 360gye
  • Current streak: 760 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Gold Boarder
  • Posts: 237
  • Karma: 13
I agree with markz that there should be an option to show a milestone being passed as opposed to a cumulative streak count which could show 3-digit number. Personally i would find it intimidating to see someone with a high 3digit count for two reasons: 1) it seems that he doesn't struggle anymore and why should i(a fresh boarder) talk to him if he can't relate to me. 2) it may get afresh boarder depressed and say "i'll never be able to reach that level so why try", and hurt him rather than help him.
That is not to say that i don't hear the other side of the argument, which i do. I can understand how it can be a motivation, and even chizuk for a new boarder to come and see people who have been in similar situations have "broken free" and give him hope for the future.

Re: Current Streak, or - PASSED 90 DAYS 22 Aug 2016 20:46 #294241

  • serenity
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • "ONE DAY AT A TIME"
  • Posts: 1796
  • Karma: 173
I hear ya. I don't like to update my days. On the other hand I don't like when people give advice on the calls and in the forum without giving a sobriety date. Separate topic, I know.  To me after the 90 days, sobriety dates would be preferable or milestone updates as Mark suggests.  On the other hand this ain't my party and I'm sure there many opinions on a myriad of different issues here. So I guess we can say our piece but also make peace with whatever the people who put their time and energy into this decide to do.
Much Hatzlacha!

My Threads:
Glad to be here
Don't slip it hurts
Lions & Tigers & Internet, Oh My!

--"ולא המדרש עיקר, אלא המעשה"
--"To promise not to do a thing is the surest way in the world to make a body want to go and do that very thing." Mark Twain
--"If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking (or lusting), you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic (or sexaholic)." AA Big Book P. 45. Parenthesis added.
--You hit rock bottom when you decide to stop digging.

Re: Current Streak, or - PASSED 90 DAYS 22 Aug 2016 21:16 #294244

  • birshusi
  • Current streak: 214 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Gold Boarder
  • Posts: 298
  • Karma: 20
I seem to be the odd man out, but for me, the more days someone is clean, the more qualified he is to dispense advice. 

Also, we know that these guys are only clean because they decided to change their lives after hitting some sort of rock bottom, so I have to assume that they know good and well what it means to be struggling to keep your head above water, and to fall hard.

I wish more of those guys were active on the forums.

Re: Current Streak, or - PASSED 90 DAYS 22 Aug 2016 23:08 #294258

  • inastruggle
  • Current streak: 25 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • the picture is shimshon hagibor. not st. mary....
  • Posts: 1263
  • Karma: 35
I like the idea of having a "passed 90 days" status. I don't display my streak because of the reasons other guys mentioned but I'd consider it if there was that option.

Re: Current Streak, or - PASSED 90 DAYS 23 Aug 2016 15:07 #294276

  • imgonadoit
  • OFFLINE
  • Expert Boarder
  • Posts: 97
  • Karma: 1
i dont get it.
this is not a fashion( status )contest

Re: Current Streak, or - PASSED 90 DAYS 23 Aug 2016 15:20 #294277

  • Markz
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 8258
  • Karma: 428
I bless you to pass 90 days soon and your eyes will then be opened to understand the question
My Story---------Dov Quotes




FREE LUST TRUCK TOWING
Click HERE to checkout;
• 100 Day Success Stories: cordnoy, Dov, Gevura and more...
• Awesome Threads Saved for You
• Cast Your Vote

➣ GYE Plenty Solutions
➣ The Mark of Torah - Lust Chizuk
➣ Nice Trucking Story

Re: Current Streak, or - PASSED 90 DAYS 23 Aug 2016 15:29 #294278

  • imgonadoit
  • OFFLINE
  • Expert Boarder
  • Posts: 97
  • Karma: 1
amain amain amain 
by then ill think im a malach 
for me im just jealous of how you must feel i lust for feeling clean and pure and innocent .
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!

Re: Current Streak, or - PASSED 90 DAYS 23 Aug 2016 16:54 #294282

  • Markz
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 8258
  • Karma: 428
After 90 days you do not become a Malach, but youve put yourself a few miles away from the Malach
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!
My Story---------Dov Quotes




FREE LUST TRUCK TOWING
Click HERE to checkout;
• 100 Day Success Stories: cordnoy, Dov, Gevura and more...
• Awesome Threads Saved for You
• Cast Your Vote

➣ GYE Plenty Solutions
➣ The Mark of Torah - Lust Chizuk
➣ Nice Trucking Story

Re: Current Streak, or - PASSED 90 DAYS 23 Aug 2016 18:10 #294284

  • serenity
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • "ONE DAY AT A TIME"
  • Posts: 1796
  • Karma: 173
Statistically it has been shown that people who have posted with the "spoiler" function have a higher success rate than those who haven't.  I obviously made that up, but I think it's probably true. 
Much Hatzlacha!

My Threads:
Glad to be here
Don't slip it hurts
Lions & Tigers & Internet, Oh My!

--"ולא המדרש עיקר, אלא המעשה"
--"To promise not to do a thing is the surest way in the world to make a body want to go and do that very thing." Mark Twain
--"If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking (or lusting), you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic (or sexaholic)." AA Big Book P. 45. Parenthesis added.
--You hit rock bottom when you decide to stop digging.

Re: Current Streak, or - PASSED 90 DAYS 24 Aug 2016 00:28 #294294

  • imgonadoit
  • OFFLINE
  • Expert Boarder
  • Posts: 97
  • Karma: 1
yep im ready to live 
if we get enugh people we can charter a plane to the land of life
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!

Re: Current Streak, or - PASSED 90 DAYS 24 Aug 2016 19:49 #294320

  • kedusha
  • Current streak: 717 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Administrator
  • Posts: 3167
  • Karma: 46
My personal feeling is that no one need be intimidated by someone with a high sobriety count.  If you ask me, if I can do it (one day at a time, of course), almost anyone can.  The only condition is that you have to really want to get clean and stay clean, and be prepared to do whatever it takes to get there - one day at a time.
Just as an alcoholic needs to avoid that first sip, a lust addict needs to avoid that first slip.Slip today? No way! ;)Fall today? No way, Jose'!

Re: Current Streak, or - PASSED 90 DAYS 24 Aug 2016 20:02 #294323

  • Markz
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 8258
  • Karma: 428
Well said!!!

Yet I'm still keeping my number to 90 for now. Let's see where this thread idea gets to at the end...
My Story---------Dov Quotes




FREE LUST TRUCK TOWING
Click HERE to checkout;
• 100 Day Success Stories: cordnoy, Dov, Gevura and more...
• Awesome Threads Saved for You
• Cast Your Vote

➣ GYE Plenty Solutions
➣ The Mark of Torah - Lust Chizuk
➣ Nice Trucking Story

Re: Current Streak, or - PASSED 90 DAYS 24 Aug 2016 23:51 #294336

  • Markz
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 8258
  • Karma: 428
As of August 24 2016 7:45pm EST I have formerly hidden my 'streak', and simply added the milestone under 'Personal Text' in my profile

Whoever is so interested, you can do too
My Story---------Dov Quotes




FREE LUST TRUCK TOWING
Click HERE to checkout;
• 100 Day Success Stories: cordnoy, Dov, Gevura and more...
• Awesome Threads Saved for You
• Cast Your Vote

➣ GYE Plenty Solutions
➣ The Mark of Torah - Lust Chizuk
➣ Nice Trucking Story
Reply Topic
New Topic
  • Page:
  • 1
  • 2
GYE
Forum for Jewish Men
On the Way to 90-Days
Moderators: yechidah, skeptical, the.guard, kedusha, Dov, cordnoy, menachemgye, smartlakewood
Powered by Kunena
Time to create page: 0.91 seconds

Are you sure?

Yes