I don't know why but i can't access the "introduce yourself " so I'm writing  here.
I have been an addict for 30 years from 14-15 years old. my wife caught me 5 years ago.I actually was relieved that I didn't need to hide myself anymore  and could start getting free. I joined GYE only the forums and was clean for 2 years. 
then slowly I began to slip here and there. I would go for months clean and fall for a week start again for a month and fall I never told my wife. when she would ask me how I'm managing with porn I would say I'm still have problems with people on the street.
2 weeks ago my wife was looking at youtube history and found stuff I looked at 2 years ago.
she was really hurt that I wasn't honest with her while at the same time she was trying to support me and be close to me.
B"H she's giving me another chance I told her I will do whatever it takes to become free of this shmutz. so I'm joining the forums again and this time I will join the phone groups.
and do whatever it takes. 

 

Great move!

Keep on Trucking!!

thanks for responding it gives me the boost to continue.
most of the day is fine. I have a problem when I go to the bathroom I look down and thoughts start coming to my head. so far I just ignore it.

benyakov wrote:

Well what's going on?

Something like this?
Gevura Shebyesod wrote:


So give Peloni a call he can give you full service
His contact info is here

Welcome,
You're one lucky guy.

B'hatzlachah to you

thanks that's obe great picture to remember 

Keep your pants up over your knees.. 'cause I'm a Jew I do that too..
All you see if you look down is your shirt and tzitzis..

Hatzlocha... With your wife, too.

thanks actually I noticed,that since I posted about looking down, it's less of a problem(I know it's only 1day).
I have another concern:
5 years ago when my wife first found out I was honest and open with her about everything that was going on. telling her I Ifeel what worries me my fears etc... including this addiction.
then slowly I started going back to my usual self and stopped sharing how I felt. that led me to stop telling her what my issues were with shmiras enayim. 
which slowly led to me slipping.
I'm concerned that the same thing will happen again. now I'm telling her everything but I'm worried it may stop.
does anybody have some good suggestions? 

Work on zich without the wife zilch

I'm sorry for not responding earlier. but what do you mean without my wife? I  feel stronger and with her support. and sharing with her is bringing us a lot closer. 
I just want to make sure i don't stop talking to her.
 

benyakov wrote on 24 Jul 2016 23:44:

There's 2 separate things going on over here

1. You need help with recovery as mentioned
2. You want to have open communication with the wife

In my personal experience (and I think many others too) number 1 is not dependent and not tied to number 2

Sobriety is not achieved by being open with the wife or by becoming a member of GYE

It takes work, and it's worth it!!!

Keep on Trucking!!!

I agree with you that the 2 points are independent of each other. but the addiction thrives of isolation. therefore keeping communication open will help keep the addiction in check

well things are b"h are going very well. I've been really clean open and honest with my wife.
I just realized an issue that there's a little part of me that is hoping and waiting for a chance to get a look a peek something. 
knowing this, I'm trying to different ways of handling it. 1.asking hashem for help that I won't want to look. 2. if I see something not to take pleasure but stop it from getting to me.
 3. discuss it with my wife how I felt.
so far it's going well. 
(discussing with your wife may not be a good idea for all situations.) with hashem help it will continue.

well today us the first time I took a second look at someone on the street. it's amazing how sick I am. I know it's wrong, I know it's harmful in terms of ruining my life
and I did it anyway 

benyakov wrote on 04 Aug 2016 22:02:

A מלאך in our midst.