Hi everybody,
BH I'm clean since 1 week, I'm feeling so good to reach this goal but now it starts to be difficult. I hope that it will be ok for a while.
When I'm going to see a girl, I pick a h'izuk email and read it. For instance, it works...

Welcome back


How's life been since you last posted on gye

Wife or girl?

Hello,

BH I'm still clean after 3 weeks ! It comes to be difficult to resist to not watch again but I think about what I'll lost if I do it.
The Hizuk emails help me a lot !

IMHO The chizuk email wasn't intended to be read at the time when you see a girl. It's supposed to be read and absorbed before you get absorbed with lust

Hi all..I'm not sure which board this post belongs to, there are so many, and many of the topics haven't had any responses for a long time.

In any case, my personal experience is that when I feel that "true Simcha," where I am content with the world as it is, I have no desire to do anything online that is not appropriate.  My desire seems to come when I'm not happy from a spiritual perspective.  For example, on Shabbos and Yom Tov, I have no interest in anything that would be online.  Same holds true for Erev Shabbos and Yom Tov, considering not only the spiritual issue, but the fact that the day is busy and there's no time for such activities.

But I think a lot of my addiction problems started when I lost some degree of emuna, or bitochon.  I am a baal teshuva for over 40 years, and B"H I maintain my commitment to Torah and Mitzvos as best I can.  One of my biggest problems is with Davening.  In davening, we praise Hashem for the goodness He has shown our people during our ancient history.  He took us out of Egypt, built us into a special Nation, gave us the Torah and its Mitzvos.  That's wonderful, and He dwelled in the Bais Hamikdosh and blessed us amply during the times of Dovid and Shlomo, every man under his vine.

But when I think of the positively horrible situation our nation has been in for the past 2,500 years, I think, "how is it possible to praise Hashem when so much blood has been spilled?  How can we continue to have faith when generation after generation of our people have experienced the worst that human beings could endure?"  

And today, while most Jews thank G-d do live in peace, the threat against our people is very serious.  The entire world seems to be at odds with us, their ideas complete and total lies about us being the worst people on earth.  Islam is threatening us worldwide, and Israel itself cannot exist in peace without the rest of the world either criticizing us, or trying to destroy us, G-d forbid.

Our leaders and sages of old are gone, with no one of their caliber to lead us.  The promises of Moshiach still remain unfulfilled, despite thousands of years of pleading with G-d to take us out of this painful golus.  So many G-d fearing Jews dying of horrible diseases, children, young parents, leaving orphans in their wake.  

We are taught that making a Brocho levatolo is a big aveira.  So when we say "G-d resurrects the dead," and "G-d redeems Israel," why are these brochos still unfulfilled?

I apologize to those who might be negatively affected by this post, but I need some chizuk and more than "This is G-d's decree, just accept it."  That may be OK for the angels or for great Tzadikkim, but I'm just a plain old Jew who wants to be able to see G-d's revealed blessings to His people, with our good health, safety and security in our Eretz Hakodesh, and the menuchas hanefesh to be able to serve Him with joy.

There are so many good things that Hashem has blessed me with, and for those I am grateful.  But I keep thinking of the suffering of my fellow Jews, and it bothers me a lot.  I know He has the power to take away the suffering, especially in light of all the good deeds, mesiras nefesh, and teshuva our people have accomplished over the past millenia.


I wish everyone a good Shabbos...Joe

Hi markz,

I read it all mornings and I try to not see an inappropriate image but if I feel that I'll fall, I try to get an hitorerout with a H'izuk email.
 

As I said, I'm starting my 4th week clean. It becomes to be difficult, I start to miss inappropriate content.
But who is this I ? The one writing this post doesn't miss lust otherwise he doesn't go on GYE.
This I is the one who masturbated and looked at porn for years, the one who have a semblance of pleasure with that. It's not me ! I decide this evening to go on the forum in order to resist and tell to the other I that this is not real and that I will regret.
Hachem gives me a wonderful wife and wonderful children. My second son when he was one month old stopped breathing, he was inanimate in my arms... Hachem saved him and I'm so grateful to Him. Each time I remember this scene, I'm crying and thanks Hachem for His goodness.

David Hamelekh said (Tehilim 26, 2-3)


If someone see all the goods that Hachem does for him, he can success all the tests. I have to apply this advice more often. For tonight, it works...

If this way of thinking works for you then keep it. I'm going to tell you the way I look at things and you can decide if you like it better.

I've been clean now for a month and a half or so and I'm happy to be clean. On the other hand I like watching porn too. Which I? there's only one. We half our animal side and we have our spiritual side, that's what makes us humans. Our job here is to choose the spiritual side over the animal one but it certainly remains a part of us. I hate hate that side of me, I fully accept it as the way I was born. I'm not going to give into it be"h but it's the reason i'm going to get olam habah and for that reason I'm happy it's there.

Hi inastruggle,

You're right that the I I was talking about is my animal side. However, I decided to not listen it and to be more spiritual. Now it can be difficult to not be seduced by the very very short term pleasure it proposed while the spiritual side offers olam haba which is an abstract pleasure. Connecting with G.. with concrete things can help everyone to do part of it.

BH 35 days clean !
I don't think I will can resist so long time but Hachem helps me and I did it! Today, it was particularly difficult, summer temperatures in Paris so a lot of pritsut in the street. Before, I was swallowing this pritsut but today BH I remove my glasses and start to think to all the h'izuk I read with GYE mails.
I hope tomorrow will be also good.

KUTGW!