I hear what you guys are saying. My own view, having gone to a meeting very hesitantly two weeks ago and then one this week, and now focusing on the first step (keep in mind that I joined GYE 78 days ago, thanks to Hashem), is that there is a fundamental importance to other people in all this. As humans, we crave the contact of others. I was fed that through the internet for far too long; cybersex in particular fed a need that was like a bottomless pit; it actually started when I was living in Israel, isolated, wanting to meet someone and failing; "succeeding" instead with this heartless, soul-destroying form of interaction on the internet. So I came back to American, and continued my bad habits. I only started to get help recently, though I had been trying to kick this stuff for YEARS. I heard something in the meeting that was good, about the first step. It's about distinguishing the powerlessness from the inability to manage one's life. If you don't keep them separate, you could think, I have the power to manage my unmanageable life; or, alternatively, I am powerless to change, but my life is manageable as is; I am getting by, why not keep going? There is a lot in there, but the powerlessness is fundamental -- you need other people and Hashem. Otherwise, it's just not going to work. Addiction feeds on isolation and feelings of loneliness. You aren't alone. As Birkat Ha-Kohenim reminds us....

Hey all, sorry I've been MIA recently. A lot going on with family life right now and we've been very busy planning a few things. By the time I get a chance to post I'm completely drained from a long day and can't sit down to type. We're going on vacation tomorrow so I probably won't be able to get back on in the next few days either. 

Currently sitting at 71/86 = .826. I know when I started this I said I was going to restart the count every 90 days and compare my score, hopefully improving each time until I was at 90 days straight. Watson at the time mentioned that he did something similar but reset every 30 days. I think I might try that next time. Still undecided. 

Sorry, I miscounted.  As of last night/this morning, it's 70/85 = .824.  Tonight, assuming the day goes well, will be 71/86 = .826.

Hatzlocha,
Enjoy!!

BEHS where you been?

It's too quiet here... 
Do we need to send out a search team?

Hey Markz, thanks for reaching out. I'm still here. I was on vacation where I had extremely limited access to internet so I wasn't able to post. And while that made some things extremely easy, coming back was much harder. Now I'm getting back into my usually triggering environment after having very little to no "medication" for over a week. Consequently, the last two days have been killers.

The final count for the 90 day test was 75/90 = .833. I'm going to mark today as the first in the next 30 day count. If I can get more than 25 it will be an improvement, but of course 30/30 is the ultimate goal.

On a separate note, I was talking to someone today and I realized that I may fall less often now when compared to 1, 3, 5, or 10 years ago, but I feel like I'm falling harder. Not that I'm doing anything worse than what I did previously, but it just seems to affect my attitude more. 

Welcome Back.

why are there no cogregulation email after 40 days and whats with stireh between the 90 days and the 40 days written in sforim?

That thing you mention about falling harder may just be you recognizing the affect of the fall on yourself.

It's only in retrospect that I see how much falling affected me. At one point when I was a year clean I looked back and felt like I actually was understanding how bad porn is for the first time.

Keep us updated!

So I was going to write a post about why I've been so sporadic lately on the forum and how something I've been working on for a while has finally reached an ending point so this big stresser is now off my back for at least a month or so... But then I got home from work thinking I was going to have a relaxing evening for the first time in a while when my wife presented me with a different huge stresser to tackle. Now after 3-4 hours dealing with it, I'm done.

I guess the lesson is that life is full of stressers and I can't use them as excuses for why I'm pushing other things off. I have to work through them while continuing to work on myself. I have to keep connected to the chevra here regardless of what other curveballs life throws at me because they will only keep coming.

But since the last week has been hectic I don't remember my count, so I'll just mark today as 1/1.

2/2. Seems like it's been a while since I posted 2 days in a row. I'll try to keep it the norm again. Today was pretty typical with nothing too out of the ordinary. It's nice to get back to that.

4/4. I hope everyone had a great Shabbos

BEHS wrote:

My Shabbos was nice BH how about yours?

Would you consider to stay on this
"New Approach to the 90-Day Journey" thread, however try a slightly different approach to the next series of 90 day journey?

If on day 11 you fall, you would previously post a batting score of 10/11

How about this time you write on day 11 the reboot count = 1, and day 12 is 2 and so on. 
It can be a baseball count, but if you're striked out (fall c'v), then the entire 'game' (count) restarts.

If I was in your batting shoes and would use the 90 chart to encourage my sobriety, that's what I'd do

Reminds me of my post about taking it one day at a time - guardyoureyes.com/forum/2-What-Works-for-Me/265130-Sobrietys-not-about-beating-a-previous-high-score

5/5. Markz, I'm not sure how that's different than just using the standard 90 day chart. Please elaborate if you wouldn't mind. Thanks.