And I thought I was the most judgemental... darn

I don't know if I have an answer to your question, but if you could elaborate on your "current position", it would help (Anonymously of course cos I doubt anyone knows who you are)

Yaalzu wrote on 18 Jun 2016 22:21:


You make it like it's the people on the forums responsibility to convince you to accept their advice. Don't accept it if you don't want to. It just seems strange- if this was like water to put out the fire, would you be telling people how to hand you the water? "Sorry, I won't accept the water from you to put the fire out in my house unless you hand it to me nicely".

You're free to do as you please and I've found the forum a pretty warm, accepting place overall but that's just my experience. On the other hand, perhaps people would be a little more sympathetic if your posts are just about falls and what you won't do.

Hey Yaalzu, I'd like to explain what I was thinking when I wrote my previous two posts on your thread.

The first post was for you, I said that I thought you would need to post more often than you were in the past if you wanted to get helped from gye. The words I used were "You might..." and "It's hard to see...." They weren't very forceful or certain. I was basing them on my observations over the past few years.

I didn't want to write a long post if I was going to be wasting my time. I figured you'd either say you were interested or you weren't.

I could've said it more gently and if that was what bothered you then I apologize.

The second post was not to you. It was to anyone reading the forum.

Mark had said that you had tried the forum. I disagreed and continue to disagree. I felt it was a dangerous thing to say and wrote forcefully. With all due respect to whatever you've done to stop, you have not tried the forum yet. Reading the forum is not trying it. It's about participation like I wrote above.

I stand by all the ideas I wrote earlier but I apologize for any pain I caused you.

I'd like to hear what you think.

 

I've thought this whole thing over. I do feel that the forum is becoming a much tougher place than it used to be. I don't think it's a good thing.

With that in mind I want to amend what I said previously without justifying myself.

Yaalzu, I should've said what I wanted to in a much nicer way or kept quiet. I'm sorry.

It wasn't the first part of your first post that bothered me, but the part you added in parenthesis, and which you mentioned again just now, "waste of time." I find that a terrible thing to say. One of the things that caused me to return to the forum at all is when someone earlier mentioned words of encouragement on how this is the way things are, rather than a nonchalant "what do I care, it's your trouble." 

And more-so, when I see people reacting in this general manner of uncaring and "whateverness" (i.e. "your problem, if that's the way you want it.."), isn't about me trying to get people to pity me and try to convince me to get more help on the forum and so on. It's that I wouldn't want to get help on such a sensitive issue from such insensitive people, (I say insensitive, again, because of the general attitude I'm getting after taking the big step of openly admitting that I need more help, as I mentioned in my "stage 2" post, and yet people took it as an opportunity (kvyachol) to (really kvyachol, as far as how I myself hear it on the receiving end), "smear it in my face" that I have to accept other methods of assistance, and, as if to say, "take back what you said earlier about not wanting to try out different things because you know you were wrong."

again, not that that was what they were saying, but as far as the approach, and how unsensitive it sounded, like "i already know this issue, and i know the right way to solve it, and you don't look interested in what i have to say, so you can go to hell for all I care."

that, in short (...), is what bothered me.


ps: I'm already waiting to see all the responses telling me "that's not what I said" "that's not what I meant" "you misunderstood," and completely missing the point of everything I just wrote. so please save me the time and don't post anything like that until you understood what it is that I am trying to say.

or just leave me alone altogether, i've basically given up on this whole forum thing as it is...

Ok, I think I'm starting to understand you.

So what would the proper response be?

Do you want advice? Chizzuk? Something else?

I'm not being sarcastic here, I sincerely want to hear your opinion.