Hi,

I haven't posted here in a while and want to "check-in". I went down this whole path of trying to stop this addiction and found that the #1 thing that helped the most was installing filters on my computer. No longer could I easily look stuff up, and this helped me lose my reliance on it and wean my brain off it. The break from it has been so valuable and the flow-on changes in my life have been immense.

BUT, unfortunately I had to leave where I was living and am now living with my parents for a period of time. They have unfiltered internet and I am falling back into my old ways. Thank G-d I am not back at the low level I was when I started this program, but I am definitely seriously "at-risk" right now.

I'm not sure what to do about it. I don't think I can just go installing software on their computers, and I will be here at least for the next month. I really really really don't want to lose this struggle and go back to my old ways. I can't. That is just not an option.

I'm weaning myself off this stuff but right now I just don't think I'm strong enough to have unfiltered internet within easy reach. I'm not sure what to do.

Thanks for the replies. It bothers me because filtering the internet was such a good and productive step for me. And I wonder if I will every be strong enough to stay clean when I'm near unfiltered internet. I don't think I was long enough without unfiltered internet to really truly break the hard-wired habits in my brain. I think I need at least 3 months (90 days) without unfiltered internet. Like the 90 day challenge on this site. But probably would need much longer.

Maybe the habit never really disappears - like alcoholism. Anyway, I'm still trying to work out a solution. I have to change something. I'll let you guys know what I figure out.