Mazel tov on this beautiful Simcha. You are a real inspiration.

Mazel tov on this simcha! 
its good that your making sure to stay vigilant, im one of those who was not and literally fell on the 91st day and learned the lesson the hard way. good for you.
 

Mazal Tov! My brother just got engaged. And so, I am joining the club of people dealing with Sister-in-law relationships. Although I have a number of Sisters in-law on my wife's side, it's different. Because my wife is a youngest, and all her sisters are significantly older than her, so these women are out of my realm if you know what I mean. 
But I'm an oldest and haven't had any SIL on my side. Now that my brother is engaged B"H it's going to be a new experience. We're talking about a young, pretty and charming (from the pics which were sent and everything I've heard so far) girl. I would appreciate any tips from the more experienced guys on how to properly navigate this relationship in terms of recovery and sobriety. 
Thanks in advance! 

Hold your breath until she has her 2nd kid

The amount of perfume they put nowadays you'll have to hold your breath till the 12th kid

She's not yours.
Stay the Hell away!

cordnoy wrote:

100%, that's what I do with my SILs

cordnoy wrote on 03 Mar 2016 23:59:

Cords, bemechila mi'kvodcha, I have no idea what you're talking about. I understand that she's not mine. But I can't just "stay away". She and my brother will be spending plenty of time with us, I am sure. We're going to have a shabbos with them next week. And I'd like to make her comfortable with joining our family, but I don't want it to affect me in a negative way as far as lusting is concerned. So I want to know how to strike that balance. 

BenTorah.BaalHabayis wrote:





Pray, pray, pray, if you have the smallest doubt, call in sick, but if you are one of Gideon 301 men, and you know you have this victory, then go with either wife or  child, or latest picture of wife, And with some exciting story  of yours. Keep looking for angels above the right shoulder.  Make it your goal to meet the oldest male and female relatives, and give yours prayers  and blessings. Spend a lot of time with men, and plan a quick but brief congratulations, Oh did I mention prayer, or calling in sick.  No one needs to know it possible lust sickness.

Recovery, the day comes when love wins with a pure heart,  the best females to begin practice pure thought and actions is grandmas.  Every young woman becomes an old woman.

BenTorah.BaalHabayis wrote on 04 Mar 2016 03:47:

There are girls in this world.
Pretty ones as well.
Some will be near us.
You created this problem and are worried about it, even before you saw her.
I didn't mean to stay away physically.
It is our job to learn how to live life and that is what we need to do.

B'hatzlachah

BenTorah.BaalHabayis wrote:

I hope and pray all is well, and the family blessing of new kin through marriage shall have made you stronger, and in HaShem , bless our Friend of all,brought you strength to love all new in family, with a pure heart of our One, family is right testing ground for righting past wrongs, and preparing us to stand as examples for others to bring the family of men together as Adam one family.

Hello everyone! Checking in after a few week absence from the forums. I hope you all had a wonderful Yom Tov. 
Pesach was really the reason I haven't been on the forums much. I was away overseas at my parents and the change of setting and routine did not allow for much GYE time. 

I got back to the States last week and I am really feeling the affect of being away from GYE. I don't think I realized just how important my participation in the forums is for maintaining my sobriety.
In addition, the particular environment of the community where my parents live in is such that I really didn't have very much of a challenge with Shmiras Einayim. Yes, I needed to avoid the small gathering right outside shul after davening and stay away from the park on Shabbos afternoon. But otherwise, there was very little confrontation with anything which pose a nisayon. I also the think that the high of Yom Tov and the hustle and bustle of all the family made it that I just wasn't thinking about these things too much. 
But then I came home, and reality hit!  We stopped at a Bagel Shop for breakfast on the way from the Airport. Immediately I realized I was lusting like I haven't been in months, as there were a number of well dressed women who also chose to have late breakfast... 
I don't know what to do with myself. Baruch Hashem I have not fallen, and this is when I am very thankful for the filter on my phone! But I am definitely lusting, and among other things I know it because I've woken up from wet dreams twice in the last few days. While that's technically not a fall, I know it's a direct result of my thinking about things I shouldn't be and this all feels very wrong. 

If you have been reading this far, thank you! I need some chizuk! 
 

Welcome back! Don't take for granted that you are able to be focused on other things over a Yom Tov. That is a gift that not everyone has. I think you just need to give yourself time to adjust ... traveling itself is a major trigger for me and I always need to hang on for a while after I return home. Great to "hear your voice" on the forum!

I was thinking of reaching out to you last night, Because I need you to keep posting if we're gonna host you on the "Success Story" list, which is limited to regular posters

Good to have you back!