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Ben Torah's 90 day journey and beyond

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Scientific studies show that it takes 90 days to break an addictive pattern in the mind. Start your own Log of your journey to 90 days! Post here to update us on your status and to give each other chizuk to stay strong!

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TOPIC: Ben Torah's 90 day journey and beyond 45027 Views

Re: Ben Torah's 90 day journey and beyond 25 Jan 2016 11:52 #275396

Markz OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 8203 Karma: 426	AMAZING!!!!!!! You mentioned "Urge Surfing" It's one of the most basic tenets of gye, called "surrender" (instead of fighting), אי נמי "Letting go and letting G-d" It's sprinkled liberally throughout the site, but if you want to see a great Dov quote on the matter compiled by gibbor - click HERE KOMT
	My Story---------Dov Quotes *FREE LUST TRUCK TOWING* *Click HERE to checkout;* • 100 Day Success Stories: cordnoy, Dov, Gevura and more... • Awesome Threads Saved for You • Cast Your Vote ➣ GYE Plenty Solutions ➣ The Mark of Torah - Lust Chizuk ➣ Nice Trucking Story Last Edit: 25 Jan 2016 12:17 by Markz.

Re: Ben Torah's 90 day journey and beyond 31 Jan 2016 05:26 #276019

BenTorah.BaalHabayis
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markz wrote on 25 Jan 2016 11:52:

AMAZING!!!!!!!

You mentioned "Urge Surfing"
It's one of the most basic tenets of gye, called "surrender" (instead of fighting), אי נמי "Letting go and letting G-d"

It's sprinkled liberally throughout the site, but if you want to see a great Dov quote on the matter compiled by gibbor - click HERE

Markz, that's a great Dov Quote, but I beg to disagree about your tzu shtel to "surrender". "Urge Surfing" is a "relapse prevention technique based on the principles of mindfulness meditation" (quoted from the article I linked below). It has nothing to do with surrendering to G-D or 12 steps. This is not a whole big mahalach, but rather a simple technique to help one overcome his urge when he's confronted with it. Perhaps this is more of solution for non-addicts, as I (for now; maybe I am, still haven't totally figured it out) consider myself.
See here for the full description: http://www.choosehelp.com/topics/recovery/cravings-mindfulness-urge-surfing There are many more articles about it. Search for "What is urge surfing".
I saw the term mentioned in passing in article GYE linked to in one of the chizuk emails and I'm not sure why this hasn't gotten more attention.

Feel free to email me at BenTorah.BaalHabayis@gmail.com

1 day may be too long for me, but I take it OWAAT = One wave at a time, cause the lust comes and goes like a wave which rises and crashes.

Re: Ben Torah's 90 day journey and beyond 05 Feb 2016 04:18 #276755

BenTorah.BaalHabayis
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Still clean B"H. I'm still on the fence about installing a filter. I was researching filters the other night because I was going to install it on my in-laws computers since some grandkids were coming to stay over. The VCF filter looks impressive, and I like the idea of blacking out any skin color. But I'm seriously feeling very anxious at the thought of installing a filter. I'm not sure what to do.

Feel free to email me at BenTorah.BaalHabayis@gmail.com

1 day may be too long for me, but I take it OWAAT = One wave at a time, cause the lust comes and goes like a wave which rises and crashes.

Last Edit: 05 Feb 2016 04:18 by BenTorah.BaalHabayis.

Re: Ben Torah's 90 day journey and beyond 07 Feb 2016 01:00 #276862

Workingguy
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BenTorah.BaalHabayis wrote on Unknown:

Here's a suggestion from my experience- not sure if it's relevant. Imagine it's in- do you now feel like seeing what it doesn't cover? If yes, there's your answer.

Whatever you choose, hatzlacha!

Re: Ben Torah's 90 day journey and beyond 07 Feb 2016 05:35 #276900

BenTorah.BaalHabayis
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Workingguy wrote on Unknown:

BenTorah.BaalHabayis wrote on Unknown:

Here's a suggestion from my experience- not sure if it's relevant. Imagine it's in- do you now feel like seeing what it doesn't cover? If yes, there's your answer.

Whatever you choose, hatzlacha!

Well, I haven't actually installed a filter yet. But I feel like if I install it I will want to go get around it. But that may just be my Y"H talking. Maybe I should just give it a try?

Feel free to email me at BenTorah.BaalHabayis@gmail.com

1 day may be too long for me, but I take it OWAAT = One wave at a time, cause the lust comes and goes like a wave which rises and crashes.

Re: Ben Torah's 90 day journey and beyond 07 Feb 2016 05:42 #276901

Markz OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 8203 Karma: 426	If I install a filter to protect me its not gonna work (tried and tested) If I'm protected, and only have this as backup, it's a great thing to invest in
	My Story---------Dov Quotes *FREE LUST TRUCK TOWING* *Click HERE to checkout;* • 100 Day Success Stories: cordnoy, Dov, Gevura and more... • Awesome Threads Saved for You • Cast Your Vote ➣ GYE Plenty Solutions ➣ The Mark of Torah - Lust Chizuk ➣ Nice Trucking Story

Re: Ben Torah's 90 day journey and beyond 07 Feb 2016 05:45 #276903

cordnoy
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BenTorah.BaalHabayis wrote on Unknown:

Workingguy wrote on Unknown:

BenTorah.BaalHabayis wrote on Unknown:

Here's a suggestion from my experience- not sure if it's relevant. Imagine it's in- do you now feel like seeing what it doesn't cover? If yes, there's your answer.

Whatever you choose, hatzlacha!

Well, I haven't actually installed a filter yet. But I feel like if I install it I will want to go get around it. But that may just be my Y"H talking. Maybe I should just give it a try?

Yes, IMHO.

My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin

Warning: Spoiler!

My job: Punchin' bag of GYE - "NeshamaInCharge"
Quote from the chevra: "Is Cordnoy truly a Treasure Island pirate from the Southern Seas?"

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: Ben Torah's 90 day journey and beyond 07 Feb 2016 05:58 #276904

BenTorah.BaalHabayis
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Cordnoy said recently that "Sobriety is boring". I've started feeling that. I'm clean B"H for more than 2 months and the one hand I feel amazing. I don't miss the porn itself, but I miss the exhiliration of breaking free which can only be had after falling for a while. It's gotten kind of too easy once I decided I don't want this anymore and I'm just coasting along with no "action". I'm thankful to Hashem for this, but it's boring. I almost feel like I want to fall so I can break free again. Kind of convoluted thinking. Can anyone relate?

Feel free to email me at BenTorah.BaalHabayis@gmail.com

1 day may be too long for me, but I take it OWAAT = One wave at a time, cause the lust comes and goes like a wave which rises and crashes.

Re: Ben Torah's 90 day journey and beyond 07 Feb 2016 06:14 #276907

cordnoy
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Yes we could, but be careful please what you ask for.
It may be borin' at times, but livin' life is the way to keep your spirits up.

b'hatzlachah

and besides.....

Warning: Spoiler!

My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin

Warning: Spoiler!

Last Edit: 07 Feb 2016 06:14 by cordnoy.

Re: Ben Torah's 90 day journey and beyond 07 Feb 2016 07:00 #276913

BenTorah.BaalHabayis
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cordnoy wrote on Unknown:

Yes we could, but be careful please what you ask for.
It may be borin' at times, but livin' life is the way to keep your spirits up.

b'hatzlachah

C"V, I'm not asking for it to be more diffucult. But I'm seeking a perspective on how to enrich my life without the need for the rollercoaster ride of constantly falling and getting up.
I actually got some partners recently and chatted with one of them tonight. I hope I can be of some chizuk to others. That gives me sipuk.

and besides.....

Warning: Spoiler!
it's not smart to listen to everythin' cordnoy says.

I'll keep that in mind!

Feel free to email me at BenTorah.BaalHabayis@gmail.com

1 day may be too long for me, but I take it OWAAT = One wave at a time, cause the lust comes and goes like a wave which rises and crashes.

Re: Ben Torah's 90 day journey and beyond 07 Feb 2016 09:04 #276918

cordnoy
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You enrich your life by livin' life.....today!

My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin

Warning: Spoiler!

Re: Ben Torah's 90 day journey and beyond 24 Feb 2016 03:02 #279003

BenTorah.BaalHabayis
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I haven't updated this thread in a while. Baruch Hashem I'm nearly at 90 days. Tonight I'm facing a unique challenge, as my wife is away overnight. I haven't been alone overnight in a really long time and I hope I will handle it properly. Before GYE, if I would have a night alone it would give me an opportunity to go all out on the porn. I could surf for hours!
Today I'm not feeling such a desire for that. But nevertheless, being alone I'm feeling more vulnerable as loneliness has always been conducive to acting out. I would appreciate some encouragement just to keep me going strong.

Feel free to email me at BenTorah.BaalHabayis@gmail.com

1 day may be too long for me, but I take it OWAAT = One wave at a time, cause the lust comes and goes like a wave which rises and crashes.

Re: Ben Torah's 90 day journey and beyond 24 Feb 2016 03:08 #279005

cordnoy
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We are here for you.

We have confidence in you as well.

Don't hesitate to email, no matter the time.

B'hatzlachah

P.s. I will have the extended weekend alone from wife...."so there!"

My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin

Warning: Spoiler!

Re: Ben Torah's 90 day journey and beyond 24 Feb 2016 03:26 #279014

Markz OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 8203 Karma: 426	BTBH By me, loneliness was the opportunity to act out on my base desires, it wasn't caused by loneliness. My base desires are under control so loneliness doesn't exacerbate anything. Am I saying the same as you? Probaby not - just thought to share Feel free to email me anytime too markzgye@gmail.com Keep on Trucking even when all alone, were with you!!!
	My Story---------Dov Quotes *FREE LUST TRUCK TOWING* *Click HERE to checkout;* • 100 Day Success Stories: cordnoy, Dov, Gevura and more... • Awesome Threads Saved for You • Cast Your Vote ➣ GYE Plenty Solutions ➣ The Mark of Torah - Lust Chizuk ➣ Nice Trucking Story Last Edit: 24 Feb 2016 03:40 by Markz.

Re: Ben Torah's 90 day journey and beyond 24 Feb 2016 03:54 #279017

BenTorah.BaalHabayis OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 321 Karma: 12	cordnoy wrote on 24 Feb 2016 03:08: We are here for you. We have confidence in you as well. Don't hesitate to email, no matter the time. B'hatzlachah P.s. I will have the extended weekend alone from wife...."so there!" Thanks Cords for your kind words. The one and only time I was away on my own for Shabbos my wife had a seizure, so I won't be doing that again...
	Feel free to email me at BenTorah.BaalHabayis@gmail.com 1 day may be too long for me, but I take it OWAAT = One wave at a time, cause the lust comes and goes like a wave which rises and crashes.