I have been on GYE for a long time and I have been just a quiet observer on the forums. I have had some nice stretches clean but as time goes on I don't spend as much time on GYE and being michazik myself. So after I fell today I figured no better time to take the plunge and create a thread to keep me coming back every day so I don't grow lax in my struggle.

Welcome back to the pump, fill up and don't forget to come back before you stall on the road again. .

Hope to see you here often. You help other people by posting here, whether you realize it or not.

Checking in for my first full day clean so far so good. I spent the entire morning building a Sucah so I was pretty busy and bh had no time to really think about anything else. Going to try and finish out the day as strong as I started it tonight.

So after a very good yom tov where I was able to keep myself busy and keep my mind clean I had a fall on the first day of chol hamoed. At least I was able to keep myself clean for 4 days. Now I have to pick myself up and tell myself I can do it for the rest of the day to keep myself clean and not have any more falls for the rest of the day.

Yeah chol hamoed has begun, time to start driving, but we need a plan and a goal or as yesod said we may stall.

Let's turn on the GPS (see my signature)

Welcome to posting!

We hope to get to know you better as we work together towards living a better life.

Picked myself up pretty well today. I kept myself busy and my mind clean from any bad thoughts. For now on I am going to try and say a short tefilah ever morning to ask Hashem to help keep my mind clean and that I should not come across any unexpected tests through out the day. I hope this will help me keep my mind focused on just getting through the challenge of that specific day.

strugle613 wrote:


And what happens when you do come across an unexpected tests?

Not that what you've said is not an excellent thing to do. I'm just posing the question. What if you ask Hashem not to send you a test but He sends one anyway?

I have not been on Gye in a few days. I recently had a rough stretch and I was to embarrassed to come and post about it on the forums. I guess that is a reason of why I should make sure to bring myself back to post every single day. Thankfully with the start of the zman I am back on track and able to keep myself busy enough that I dont have time to those things.

strugle613 wrote:

S613 p'haps nows a good time to plan ahead for bein hazmanim, and if it's in 6 months from now even better, so we have more time to change our tires, oil change (שמן זית of course)

strugle613 wrote:


Welcome back. I bolded the things I want to comment on.

First of all, I completely understand the shame that you went through, I have been there. However, nothing that you have done hasn't been mentioned countless times here already, this is an open environment and we are here to support you when things aren't going well. Many times isolation can drive us to act out.

Second of all, excellent that you are back "in the swing of things" but isn't that only a temporary solution? I don't know your story particularly but I know that no outside circumstance could stop me from using. I could learn all day and masturbate all night and vice versa.

Keep on posting!

Hatzlacha Raba

markz wrote:

And your YH may be taking someone's great words out of context and therefore will whisper in your ear that hey
cordnoy wrote:

and who needs to worry about 6 months from now (which btw may apply to today too...)

Had a decent day today. I was able to keep myself busy for most of the day and ward of any bad thoughts that tried to creep in to my mind. I am a few days behind on the chizuk emails which I sort of like because of the days like shabbos where there is none. But I read the article today about how instead of seeing a day clean as a day where I kept myself away from something I should look at it as if I accomplished something. Having pride each and every day over what I accomplished will keep me happy and being happy will help keep the bad thoughts away.

B'h 14 days still clean. It definitely feels good when you hit a mark that you can look back on and say wow I have been clean for a significant amount of time. At the same time though I have to remind myself that every day is a new day and a new challenge. Over the last day or two I have had more thoughts creep into my mind than before I think this is because I am growing content with how well I have been doing the past few days that I am not as careful about staying away from situations that will result in those types of thoughts that creep into my mind.
A final thought before I finish. The image of the day recently had a quote that said 'You were given this life because you are strong enough to live it'. Funny enough this actually reminds me of a quote that I heard in a movie many years ago 'We do not choose the times we live in just what to do with the time we are given'. None of us chose to be given this test in our lives and if we could choose which test we are given we would all choose something else (at least I think I would) but what we really have to know is that we have to power to choose what we do with the test we are given. Whether we will fold or stand up with all our courage and say I will pass the test that I am given because that is what I was put here to do.
Anyways thanks for putting up with my posts it really helps to have a place to post some thoughts once in a while we I know people who really care will always be around to listen.