I think refaenu is the wrong place.
על הצדיקים is more like it.
I'll have you in mind my dear friend

You are 50% correct - Al Hatzadikim is certainly the place, but every bracha is fair game

Ata Chonen - Give us the wisdom to look at the world in a truthful way, not warped
Hashiveinu - let us truly transform ourselves, become a totally different person - for You are mechadesh bechol yom maaseh bereishis - please recreate me so my person here on earth fits my holy Neshama
Selach - Please forgive us because we truly want to move on to true Avodas Hashem
Re'ei na - Riva Riveinu - we are powerless ourselves - we need true redemption
Refaeinu - Please heal us both physically and spiritually

I've got to go to davening now!

Eny what you wrote is beautiful! have us in mind pls

I meant regarding sex addiction;
from what i understand is a natural condition that has no cure (רפאנו) to remove it. Our task is to live great lives as צדיקים despite our SA

In SA i have learnt that I have a disease and I am getting better. If hashem wanted to take it away completely of course he could. However, I do not know his plans. Obviously Hashem wants me to serve him WITH my SA, not despite my SA. Hashem loves me so much he would never do anything bad to me and obviously he understands that SA is supposed to part of my life and my avodas hashem.

Bareich Aleinu - I've heard there's a connection between tahara and bracha
Teka Beshofar Gadol - some siddurim here have a tefilla about the scattered nitzotot caused by sz"l being gathered together
Hashiva Shofteinu - Who knows how many potential leaders are lost to this yetzer hara and SA? Bring them back because we as a people need their kochos

Next steps in plan:
* Second of 12 steps
* avoid more triggers by more intense shmiras einayim - windows to soul style
* don't get complacent
* look again at Dr Sorotzkin's article
* healthy living in all realms
* decrease worry triggers by taking steps to improve parnassa situation
* daven daven daven
* help someone on the forum

*Started anew with a sponsor - who is great (asks me the right questions & writes back)
*Joined the chat room - it took me weeks to actually call the phone number to get approved
*One of the biggest deals in my life: more or less keeping to a schedule

Eny your three *** deserves you Five stars

Could you explain to me the benefit of joining the chat room over the forum? Also, is joking permitted there?

Thanks for the stars!
I was interested in the chat room because I wanted a place where I can communicate with someone directly when I catch myself in a nisayon and have the presence of mind to talk to someone. That can sometimes happen on the forum.

I don't know about joking because I just went to the chatroom once to check how it works & I had nothing particular to say.

eny wrote:


if I know mark at all, he was asking abt joking b/c he likes to make jokes himself and he was asking permission to do so in ur thread. (I feel like mark has his posts translated a lot)

Jokes are welcome - as long as they shave off the nonsense of life or bring people to real joy

Day 6 - Be aware of problem areas:
*commute
*triggers that get through filter
*frustration
*lack of structured time

Think of living more begadol - not just to avoid falling (though there is great worth in not falling, but too much focus on it creates a life of tension without positive direction)

Do something great today

Day 8
* First daven to Hashem about the day, then try to live it
* Be consistent about the new life skills habits that make life more livable:
keeping a schedule, not staying up late at night by myself in front of the computer (what was I ever thinking?? )
* Learn to deal with things (work projects especially) not working out as planned so frustration doesn't click me back into old habits
* Think of others' struggles

Day 20
Baruch Hashem
* Keep focusing on one day at a time
* Don't let thoughts go unchecked - the broken glass approach that worked in NYC (I think) - knock off small strayings - seemingly innocent looking or thinking or searching
* keep in touch with my sponsor - G-d bless him.

Day 22
Yesterday - two challenging situations - thank G-d for allowing me to cut out and move away.
See my perspective on people changing for the positive - less superficial.
Check in with sponsor