Sasha 2 wrote on 05 Mar 2016 18:26:

Hi Sasha!

I can deliver some sources from the gemara, rishoinim and achroinim about this question.

However, just like the mashgiach of this forum said and you agreed upon, it doesn't really matter and it might actually hurt the sobriety.

We might say "Well, it's not problem if I act out, this is a hard thing to do anyway" or "It's human nature".

The main thing we have to do is KOTTCWLWOAOW (Keep On Trucking The Chasidisher Way Litfisher Way Or Any Other Way)

I think bc the pleasurable physical effects aee greater than the effects smoking has on the body, hence the more powerful addiction? Does that make  sense?  But it could be someone is just as addicted to cigs... i think mayne it depends  on the person... but i beliefe the BAD WORD REMOVEDa of- who cares, it doesn't matter  is a good one to adopt in this case, UNLESS you see it s
helping yu 2 delve into this. Agav, yu may find reviewing the steps helpful in getting your mind occupied with ssomething  else in those sitches..

I have to thank everyone for their ideas and input, i have to try some of them and see how it goes!

So far still clean taking it one day at a time, during the difficult times i just try not to think too much.

I do not believe that any addiction is harder than the next one. If it is an addiction on the physical, emotional and spiritual level that is. Different people can have different experiences obviously, but we are kind of preaching to the choir because if we are on GYE then we obviously have a problem with lust.

Shlomo24 wrote on 09 Mar 2016 16:50:

It's worth listing.
guardyoureyes.com/GYEFiles/MP3s/DC/Rabbi%20Dr.%20Twerski%20-%20True%20meaning%20of%20powerlessness.mp3

OTR wrote on 09 Mar 2016 05:24:

I see there was something in my post that was removed.. I am not sure what I had written, but I really aplogize, i think i meant to write the word "Point" as that is what I meant to say. Maybe I was typing from a tablet and autocorrect put in something wrong? if I DID write something intentionally wrong, I really apologize... 

u wrote the word shi|ta it thinks its a bad word

i have heard that before. sex and lust are different things, doesn't make the addiction harder

Shlomo24 wrote on 11 Mar 2016 02:23:

Can you explain please?

Shlomo24 wrote on 11 Mar 2016 02:23:

That is hillarious. I was scared for a second I thought I must have really bothered someone.... Hope i didn't get reported for writing shi... umm... "opinion" LOLOL

Sasha, If I get what Shlomo is saying, it's that lust is the part where our internal drives and the natural desires, reproductive abilities etc.. are subjugated to filling other needs that they were never intended to. 

Sasha 2 wrote on 11 Mar 2016 07:42:

Sex is a god-given trait in order so we survive. Sex is good inherently. It is the union between man and woman on many levels, more then just physical. It is an act that creates, it creates bonds, connection, children etc. There is nothing wrong with sex and in fact it is a very spiritual and meaningful act.

However, just like many other survival instincts, it can be used in the wrong way. When sex is used to take, not to give, when sex is all about what I can get out of this, then it is unnatural. Selfishly using sex is called lust. Lust breaks bonds and destroys connections. I know that when I acted out with other men, I didn't give a sh*t about the other guy. I wanted to get the most pleasurable experience that I could get, while using him to help me get that. When I used to masturbate, I was using myself to get a pleasurable experience out of it. I was turning my own body and self into an object. Even marital sex can be lustful, if one is just using the other partner as a lust object. 

So what R' Twersky says about complete sobriety, that is true that an Alcoholic can completely stop drinking. But that doesn't make a Sexaholic any worse, even if he has marital sex. Sex is not our problem, lust is. Some people can attain sexual sobriety easier than drug or alcohol sobriety and others vice versa. But I don't believe that any addiction is harder then the other. It is very subjective. Hell, half the psychological world doesn't even believe that there is such an addiction as sex addiction.

Well since we are continuing anyway with this discussion.

Ayin gemara chagiga 11a
Ayin ohr hachaim parshas achrei mois perek 18 posuk 2

And plenty of other sources that this is the hardest addiction.

The bottom line is, it doesn't matter!

 Let's keep on (Obvious word removed) whether it's the hardest or not the hardest.

Shlomo24 wrote on 11 Mar 2016 16:51:

I'm willing to wager a LOT that a large bulk of those psychological professionals are masturbating daily and convincing themselves that it is ok. Because if it's not they are not OK. I have noticed in myself that when I am acting out, I have many more 'questions' about whether it really is harmful or not. Many more reasons why it's not really that bad..... Paychologists in my book are not necesarily an authority to be reckoned with. 

Shlomo24, OTR:
Thanks for explaining, i get it

OTR wrote:

I like how you hit the nail on the head and called them paycologists