Hi all,

B"H sober for 245 days and working to stay sober.

last night had a trigger, that was bringing me close to act out. Cant say that I was at the verge of acting out, but was pretty close to that. I begged hashem to help me through this. I thought to myself that i don't want to go that direction. B"H I did not act out, leaving me somewhat exhausted.

Today I told my wife about the trigger that I received in the mail. She offered to help me with taking the mail daily. I thanked her for the offer. But explained to her, that I don't think this will help me. If I want to act out I will find how to. She said that why shouldn't she try to help me avoid triggers. I said I had a whole list of triggers if she wants to know. When I go to the supermarket, or when I am in a parking lot of the mall, there are many triggers there. I would appreciate that from now on, she should excuse me from going there. Is that possible? No! obviously my problem is not the triggers, my problem is me. If I cant help myself, then no one can help me.

Keep up the good work.
Although we can't keep away from every single trigger, why not eliminate the ones we can?

Bigmoish wrote:


I cant live with my wife watching over me. Nor can i live with her tippy toeing around me and watching I should not get triggered. I dont think she can live with having a pressure that she should not be at fault if i fall. It is not about her. It is about my problem. I need to do what ever it takes to stay clean. Yes I try to avoid triggers. But dont want anyone around me looking out to make sure I dont get triggered.

lomed wrote:

If you are expecting porn mags to come in the mail, and she knows that you have an issue and are working on it, AND she also knows that there are unwanted porn mags coming in the mail, I wouldn't consider asking her to take in the mail to be "looking over your shoulder." It's just common sense.

lomed wrote:


I offered once before.
forward those catalogs to me please.

cordnoy wrote:


Cordnoy, as much as i love you and respect you, I don't understand why you are doing this. It occurs to me that for you this is nothing. But for me it is a struggle. It is hard to understand what is the joking all about. After all this forum is a place for us to come forward anonymously, and discuss their issue. Where does sarcasm come in?

lomed wrote:


I have a feeling Cordnoy is also a moderator on AAAW (anonymous alcoholics anonymous website), but has a couple of swigs, before returning to gye

Oops sorry Cord if I spilled the beerbeans

lomed wrote:


If this forum would be serious all the time, we would lose most of its members.

I am not making light of the issue at all.

We all have our testing and challenging points.

Several pages ago, we all proposed ideas as to how these catalogs should
not appear at your steps; obviously, that didn't work, or you couldn't do it.

Iy"h a way should be figured out.

I happen to love catalogs, especially if it's the kind I think you're
receiving.

Love you dearly.
Wish you only the best.

and one last point: you wrote: for me, this is nothin'. Nothin' can be further than the truth. If I would get these catalogs in the mail, I probably would......thankfully or sadly, i don't. In the state I'm in at the current moment, if it would come in the post, I would figure out a way to prevent that from happenin' again.....or would I?

last time this happened i got one every second day. i returned the envelope to sender, plus i filled out a form to the USPS that someone recommended on my thread. This stopped it for about 4 month.

But here it is coming again.

cordnoy wrote:

There is a line between cracking jokes when someone is asking for advice, than keeping a sense of humor on the forum.

I am maskim to bigmoish. having ur wife help isn't putting the responsibility on her. removing the "threats" we can is a good option. why do u have a filter? if u are going 2 act out u will so who cares? we can't remove everything but sometimes we can do ourselves good by asking for a little help.

and no offense lomed, but cordy is drop dead funny. w/o humor this forum would suck. i just came from an SA meeting that was FUN! there was a lot of laughter and also a lot of seriousness when necessary (a guy even cried at the meeting abt his divorce). i have found that nothing can take me out of a bad mood as good as humor

Shlomo24 wrote:


I'm gonna say two things that at least one person won't like

1) "In too many cases, there's at least one person that doesn't like something each person writes on the forum"

2) There are many many trucks heading to the final destination "There's no one sobriety tool that works for everyone"

Some take gas, some take diesel, some beer... Whatever it takes!

"There's no one joke that works for everyone"

Guys that take gas eg Cordnoy, Shlomo, need to share jokes that diesel truckers, like myself think are crude (oil).

In my first days I reported one of Cord's jokes to the moderator
I'm waiting for a reply. I know what it's gonna be and diesel truckers should KOT and not click on this


Please respect when someone shares a joke, to click 'Thank you' and laugh, or ignore and KOT.
This applies to everyone. When someone shares a joke on the having fun forum, and you don't like it, let him have his fun and KOT

Hey Cordnoy watch out - did you see what I wrote under "you know you're on gye too long when...

Hi all,

Just keeping you posted.

I went last week for a consult to a therapist. I have to meet with him another time. Anyways I opened up my whole (?) history. As I was talking things came out very smooth. However the next 2 days were so painful. I felt like i was slashed open and my whole inside is visible. I hope this is the healing pain. Anyways for now i am seriously considering live SA meetings. i am waiting for the next session with the therapist, and will take it from there.

i wish you much hatzlacha. i happen to love SA.

lomed wrote:


It should be with hatzlachah.