Shuli (ywn) wrote:

A "Husband Shopping Center" was opened where a woman could
go to choose from among many men, to be her husband.
It was laid out in five floors, with the men increasing in
positive attributes as you ascended up the floors.
The only rule was, once you opened the door to any floor,
you must choose a man from that floor, and if you went up a
floor, you couldn't go back down except to leave the place.

So, a couple of girlfriends go to the place to find men.
First floor, the door had a sign saying:
"These men have jobs and love kids."
The women read the sign and say:
"Well that's better than not having jobs, or not loving kids,
but I wonder what's further up?"
So up they go.
Second floor says: "These men have high paying jobs, love kids,
and are extremely good looking".
"Hmmm," say the girls, "But, I wonder what's further up?"
Third floor:
"These men have high paying jobs, are extremely good looking,
love kids and help with the housework."
"Wow!" say the women. "Very tempting, BUT,
there's more further up!"
And so again, they go up.
Fourth floor: "These men have high paying jobs, love kids,
are extremely good looking, help with the housework, and
have a strong romantic streak."
"Oh, mercy me. But just think!?!?!
What must be awaiting us further on!"
So up to the fifth floor they go.
The sign on that door said:
"This floor is just to prove that women are impossible to please.
Thank you for shopping and have a nice day!!"







SPECIAL REQUEST
If your wife visits the women's forum, would you be so kind as to get this joke posted where it belongs

If someone disappears from here we'll know he showed this to his wife. 

You meant to say the other way around?
"if someone showed this to his wife... he'll dissapear"?
venahapoch hee?

Why?















Also I'm not so concerned cos the Yiddish site has no JHF forum, so the women probably don't either, and anyone that wants to prove me wrong, go ahead!!

This mornings email Marbim besimacha image??

I don't get it :-(

If you have any inside info please share it - I'm going out of my mind!

markz wrote on 04 Mar 2016 13:47:

what seems to be the problem?



 

cordnoy wrote on 04 Mar 2016 14:33:

I agree, i don't get it either. 

If it's gd talking,  id say "great, so I'll speak to you in heaven after I'm done making my calls here"
If it's the wife talking, id say "are you threatening to kill me? "


But i do need to turn of the phone when i get home, i think I'll start leaving it in the front of the house until after the kids are asleep. 
 

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through
stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.

On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping.
(Darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).

On a bag of Frito's: ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary.
Details inside. (is this the shoplifter's special)?

On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap."
(and that would be how???....)

On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(but, it's "just" a suggestion)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom):
"Do not turn upside down."
(well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:"Product will be hot after heating."
(...That one is for the blonde in all of us...)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body."
(but wouldn't this save me more time)?

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:"Do not drive a car or operate
machinery after taking this medication."
(Now mind you, I believe the key word there is Children.
We should all put our children to work driving or operating machinery...
Right?)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(and...I'm taking this because???....)

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only."
(guess we could hang them in the twilight zone)?

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use."
(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts."
(talk about a news flash)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
"Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: maybe, uh...fly United?)

On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment
does not enable you to fly."
(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

On a Swedish Chainsaw:"Do not attempt to stop chain with
your hands or ...."
(..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

(2 viewing) markz, solmeir

 Hey Sol Howya doing???

Money, Money, Money........ There was a man who had worked all of his life, saved all of his money, and was a real miser when it came to that money. He loved money more than just about anything, and before he died he said to his wife: "Now listen. When I die, I want you to take all my money and put it in the casket with me. Because I wanna take my money to the afterlife with me." And so he got his wife to promise him with all of her  heart that when he died, she would put all of the money in the casket with him. One day he died. He was stretched out in the casket, the wife was sitting there in black, and her friend was sitting next to her. When they finished the ceremony, just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket, the wife said, " Wait just a minute!" She had a box with her, and she put it in the casket. Then the undertakers locked the casket down, and rolled it away. Her friend said, "Girl, I know you weren't a fool enough to put all that money in there with that man???"  She said, "Listen, I can't lie. I promised him that I was gonna put that money in that casket with him." "You mean to tell me you put that money in the casket with the man?" "I sure did,"said the wife." "I wrote him a check."

Three Eastern European Jews named Berel, Cherel, and Shmerel were
talking about moving to the US.

Berel says, "When I move to America, I'm going to have to change my
name. They won't call me Berel anymore; they'll call me Buck."

Cherel says, "When I move to America, I'll also have to change my
name. They'll call me Chuck."

Then Shmerel says..... "I'm not moving."

WorkingGuy - Its high time you installed an avatar image - you know minhag Yisrael...

markz wrote on 08 Mar 2016 02:49:

I'm assuming Feivel stayed back with Shmerel

And what happens to your seichel

Twitter is my serious account, the funny one is my bank account.