Hello, could someone tell me about whether or not masturbation WITHOUT ejaculation AND without looking at or thinking about dirty images is still a sin?  If I only think about my wife and masturbate without ejaculation (wasting seed), is this still a sin?  If so, please explain how bad is this sin?  

My wife has abnormally long periods of niddah (3-4 weeks plus sometimes) and it is REALLY difficult to struggle through these periods without some sort of relief, so I would really like a specific answer to this question if available.

Also, please use references if available. Thank you.

Intro first:
Welcome Brother,
You are not alone, there is a group of guys here going through very similar issues for many different reasons.
You can breathe easy, you will find most of the answers you need, right here on the site.
Find some free moments to read through the GYE handbook if you have not yet already done so. Take some extra time to go through the 30 Principles of GYE
Of the many tools you will find here on this site, bringing the problem out into the open, out of isolation and sharing it with others in a similar boat is a great first step.
Read up on the various ways that many here have managed to stay clean for amazingly long periods of time by participating with us in the forum.
If you are dedicated to stopping, know that it is possible.
Most importantly.
Keep on Trucking.

IBelongtoHashem wrote on 20 Apr 2017 12:48:

Response:
I have several.
1) This is a forum of sex addicts and sex addicts who are not addicts - this is not a forum of Poskim.
2) As someone pointed out to me recently tantric masturbation still causes the seed to escape afterwards when going to the toilet, so this may be an issue if you are trying to not lose seed.
3) Did you really master tantric masturbation???
4) What are you actually trying to achieve?
5) Would you like to learn how to not struggle through these long periods? I am learning how to do it and I can tell you its more than possible.

IBelongtoHashem wrote on 20 Apr 2017 12:48:

Wow that must be tough - to have such long Nidda period!

Does it bother your wife?

Wow sounds really terrible, sorry for your struggle but may hashem be with you and guide you through it!

Should I Google "tantric"?

And Mr belong, you do know that there are sources that clearly state that causing yourself to have an erection is a sin? You wanna know how severe? And like the others said above: what's your end game?

I believe the source is the Gemara Nidah 13a, Shulchan Aruch Even Haezer I believe Siman 23. There it says that someone who causes them selves to have an erection should be excommunicated.

I don't remember if the primary sources or some of the commentary say that means even excommunicated from heaven.

If you look at Shulchan Aruch Orach Chaim at the beginning in the laws are going to the bathroom it's specifically talks about not touching yourself when you go to the bathroom so as not to cause an erection. The sources are way too numerous to mention but it is an established fact.

In addition, the commentaries explain that one also transgresses the sin of ונשמרת מכל דבר רע-שלא יהא מהרהר ביום ויבא לידי טומאה בלילה.

But like others say, this is not but encyclopedia and the goal here isn't generally to help people engage in sexual behaviors- it's to help them deal with their problematic sexual behavior is an underlying issues.

of course it stinks to have to wait for so long, but you will find that there are many people here who actually either are in other similar situations in voluntarily or even sometimes willingly give up sex for a long periods of time.

As many people have noted, one of the things that many people have learned here is that they will survive even if they don't ejaculate for a month.

And by the way, I totally relate to your problem because I sometimes used to do the same thing. But it never made me feel any better.

Workingguy wrote on 21 Apr 2017 00:00:

Damn!

All these years, and I'm in the wrong place.

cordnoy wrote on 21 Apr 2017 00:30:

Now you know why it hasn't worked!

GrowStrong wrote on 20 Apr 2017 13:18:

The way I understood the OP's post, he wasn't referring to the Tantric ideology. Rather, he meant stopping before ejaculation/orgasm.

Trouble wrote on 20 Apr 2017 22:53:

Re tantric, GS is referring to orgasm without ejaculation. Tantra is some sort of ideology/religion/meditative way of life. Something like that.

Taking Belong's post at face value, he doesn't know that there are sources that clearly state that causing yourself to have an erection is a sin.

:-)

bb0212 wrote on 21 Apr 2017 06:10:

Well now that we have been schooled in the laws of not causing an erection he only has to deal with when he has a natural one.
Seriously though, if it aint tantric and you cant orgasm, it sounds like Chinese Torture.
I just hope all the chopstick talk on the forum today didnt trigger anyone.

GrowStrong wrote on 21 Apr 2017 06:20:

Sometimes Chinese torture is a release...

bb0212 wrote on 21 Apr 2017 06:10:

Sounds like torture to me.
But then so does looking at porn and ignoring the elephant in the trousers.

bb0212 wrote on 21 Apr 2017 06:23:

Multiple choice response:

a: I think the release was when they stopped.
b: Tell that to McCain.
c: Whatever tickles your chopsticks.
d: For the torturer...