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Finding a loved ones filth
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TOPIC: Finding a loved ones filth 4719 Views

Finding a loved ones filth 10 Aug 2015 00:35 #261294

  • shmira
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Hi
Never done this before...
Thnx to GYE i have recently realised that my viewing of illicit materials may be more serious than i may have appreciated otherwise.
I have undergone through various steps.. but something has just thrown me off completely.
Upon using a loved ones tablet device, i was shocked to see that the last person seemingly left the filth on the intetnet browser. I quickly shut the page thinking it was an accidental pop up. When i searched the history however, i was shocked to discover that someone had actually knowingly searched for the filth.

This tablet belonged to someone i love, respect and look up to. I am in absolute denial. I quickly deleted the history hoping that it was only a unique case. But when i checked the history again a few days later, there it was again!
I simply do not know what to do? I personally cant believe it! I feel betrayed!
This is the only forum i feel comfortable sharing this....please help

Re: Finding a loved ones filth 10 Aug 2015 00:47 #261296

  • cordnoy
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Shmira wrote:
Hi
Never done this before...
Thnx to GYE i have recently realised that my viewing of illicit materials may be more serious than i may have appreciated otherwise.
I have undergone through various steps.. but something has just thrown me off completely.
Upon using a loved ones tablet device, i was shocked to see that the last person seemingly left the filth on the intetnet browser. I quickly shut the page thinking it was an accidental pop up. When i searched the history however, i was shocked to discover that someone had actually knowingly searched for the filth.

This tablet belonged to someone i love, respect and look up to. I am in absolute denial. I quickly deleted the history hoping that it was only a unique case. But when i checked the history again a few days later, there it was again!
I simply do not know what to do? I personally cant believe it! I feel betrayed!
This is the only forum i feel comfortable sharing this....please help


Before I respond....just to be sure....is this your spouse or a relative?
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!
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Re: Finding a loved ones filth 10 Aug 2015 01:14 #261298

  • serenity
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Welcome to GYE and thank you for sharing! Does this person love, respect and admire you?
Much Hatzlacha!

My Threads:
Glad to be here
Don't slip it hurts
Lions & Tigers & Internet, Oh My!

--"ולא המדרש עיקר, אלא המעשה"
--"To promise not to do a thing is the surest way in the world to make a body want to go and do that very thing." Mark Twain
--"If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking (or lusting), you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic (or sexaholic)." AA Big Book P. 45. Parenthesis added.
--You hit rock bottom when you decide to stop digging.

Re: Finding a loved ones filth 10 Aug 2015 02:44 #261301

  • yiraishamaim
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More info is necessary.

Is this a spouse as cordnoy inquired?

Also was it a type of filth that was a communication with another on some level? It sounds like it wasn't.

If it was P___ we know it is most probably an attempt for a quick fix from anxiety and the like. And while it is by no means good(we are all here to get rid of such habits)it is not as severe a personal betrayal as connecting and communicating with someone directly.

Re: Finding a loved ones filth 10 Aug 2015 21:39 #261356

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Relative of the generation above. Like an uncle

Re: Finding a loved ones filth 10 Aug 2015 21:41 #261357

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Shmira wrote:
Relative of the generation above. Like an uncle


So why do you feel 'betrayed'?

Did you betray him as well by doing the same?
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!
My job: Punchin' bag of GYE - "NeshamaInCharge"
Quote from the chevra: "Is Cordnoy truly a Treasure Island pirate from the Southern Seas?"

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: Finding a loved ones filth 10 Aug 2015 21:42 #261359

  • shmira
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It was P__ just didnt expect it from him especially as he is a respected person in the community

Re: Finding a loved ones filth 10 Aug 2015 21:44 #261361

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Doesn't answer my question.
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!
My job: Punchin' bag of GYE - "NeshamaInCharge"
Quote from the chevra: "Is Cordnoy truly a Treasure Island pirate from the Southern Seas?"

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: Finding a loved ones filth 10 Aug 2015 23:16 #261369

  • peloni almoni
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Shmira wrote:
Relative of the generation above. Like an uncle


like an uncle but not an uncle.
do you know what that's called?

:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!


on a serious note, you know that we are all anonymous here. and you are asking for opnions and experiences. it would be a lot more smooth (not to mention accurate) if you would just take a deep breath, and, as the saying goes, spit it out.
maybe being open and blunt would help you deal with it as well.
who, where, what, and when. any why. פירוש why (really) is it disturbing you up so much (maybe this will become clear when we hear who your "uncle" really is).
agav, is it possible that just like you were using your "uncle's" computer someone else may have been? of course the answer of this question too, is partially based on the id of your "uncle".

so, brother, what do you think?
Have a corny day ... and if you do have other plans, change 'em!!
peloni_almoni@hotmail.com

None of us has it all together, but together, we have it all.

we always put our sobriety before our ego -
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Last Edit: 10 Aug 2015 23:18 by peloni almoni.

Re: Finding a loved ones filth 10 Aug 2015 23:24 #261370

  • stillgoing
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Like peloni almoni said, is it absolutely impossible that someone else used the device? I believe that most people would try to cover their tracks if they know that the device is known to belong to them.
That said, I wanted to quote Cordnoy's question again
cordnoy
So why do you feel 'betrayed'?

Did you betray him as well by doing the same?

Shmira
It was P__ just didn't expect it from him especially as he is a respected person in the community

cordnoy
Doesn't answer my question.

Don't be scared to answer honestly. Everyone here is working on this issue, and it is all anonymous.
SG
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Re: Finding a loved ones filth 11 Aug 2015 00:05 #261381

  • yiraishamaim
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We have mentioned here so many times that this struggle hits everyone even those on lofty spiritual levels. We even showed through the gemarah that there is a correlation between the greatness of the individual and this particular struggle.
If you see a Talmud Chacham sin at night you can assume that by morning he has done tshuva.

MOST PROBABLY(?) -Your uncle is a good man that has accomplished much. He is at war with himself feeling the hypocrisy of his actions. Going through great inner turmoil.

Sound familiar?

In reality, He is like your friends here on the forum.
Daven for him.

Re: Finding a loved ones filth 11 Aug 2015 04:09 #261427

  • Hashivalisesonyishecho
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cordnoy wrote:
Doesn't answer my question.


He is answering your question.

A person who presents himself as being a lofty person, someone you can count on for being pure and someone you can rely upon in the sense presented, who turns out to be a fraud, an impersonator, is a betrayal.

Re: Finding a loved ones filth 11 Aug 2015 04:39 #261431

  • cordnoy
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Hashivalisesonyishecho wrote:
cordnoy wrote:
Doesn't answer my question.


He is answering your question.

A person who presents himself as being a lofty person, someone you can count on for being pure and someone you can rely upon in the sense presented, who turns out to be a fraud, an impersonator, is a betrayal.


thanks for the clarification.
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!
My job: Punchin' bag of GYE - "NeshamaInCharge"
Quote from the chevra: "Is Cordnoy truly a Treasure Island pirate from the Southern Seas?"

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: Finding a loved ones filth 11 Aug 2015 04:46 #261433

  • yiraishamaim
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True hashiva it is a betrayal.

Perhaps though we'll give the poor soul this much. There is at least a difference between one who is laughing at the people whom he is fooling and the guy by his weakness is falling to this compulsion and in fact is scared of his own shadow that the oilam will find out.

Be it as it may it is still a form of betrayal.

Re: Finding a loved ones filth 11 Aug 2015 04:49 #261434

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and maybe, just maybe, he should stop focusin' on what the other fellow did, but rather, on his own life, and what he can do for recovery; what steps will you take?
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!
My job: Punchin' bag of GYE - "NeshamaInCharge"
Quote from the chevra: "Is Cordnoy truly a Treasure Island pirate from the Southern Seas?"

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.
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