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Tried Many Methods- Nothing Sticks
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TOPIC: Tried Many Methods- Nothing Sticks 942 Views

Tried Many Methods- Nothing Sticks 03 Aug 2021 19:41 #371397

  • kosherboy
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Hey everyone,

I've had many good runs where I'm clean for a couple months but I always revert back to my old ways.

I've tried many techniques:

accountability partners
filters
reward/punishment system
talking to friends
ignoring the problem altogether, etc. 

Every time I go on a good run, I think I've solved the problem.
But then at some point, I fall back to the frequency I was doing it before.

I would like to ultimately to change my perception that porn is not something I want to be part of my life instead of feeling as though I'm always fighting it.

Been trying to quit for a few years now.
Any suggestions are appreciated!

Re: Tried Many Methods- Nothing Sticks 03 Aug 2021 23:09 #371404

.
Check out my thread The Easy Peasy Method

Or just read the book. Based on Alan Carr's Easyway.

"All porn ever does is relieve the withdrawal symptoms that it causes, and it ceases to relieve them completely."
Last Edit: 09 Sep 2021 22:07 by DeletedUser753.

Re: Tried Many Methods- Nothing Sticks 04 Aug 2021 22:18 #371430

  • clarity26
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You seem to quote this book in every post,

Anyone else have any testimonials on it?

Or experience/haskamos

Re: Tried Many Methods- Nothing Sticks 05 Aug 2021 07:23 #371449

  • Rt234
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In my experience in order to overcome it u need to want to stop it and consistently have that will and keep on wanting to stop it. If you want to do it just u know it's bad so ur gonna try to fight it I don't know how well that'll work (maybe it can but for me it never did).
also learn Torah as much as you can even aftaftet a fall and keep on fighting even if you fell.
Also try a taphsik neder/shvua.
You can read about that somewhere on this site (I think under tools).
feel free to pm me
All the best!!!
Hatzla rabah!!!

Re: Tried Many Methods- Nothing Sticks 05 Aug 2021 16:52 #371462

  • retrych
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Forget methods, look for causes.  What makes you go after it? What do you want from it when you do go after it? (two separate questions)

Can you pinpoint any small, innocent or insignificant thing that either triggers you slightly or just sends you very subtly moving in that direction? I know for myself certain kinds of completely innocent and kosher daydreams inexplicably end up raising these feelings. Or certain, still kosher in that it's nonshmutzy at leas) entertainment, just looking into that world, lower my defenses.   It could be exposure to certain mindsets, certain emotions or desires, all seemingly unrelated. Or lack or spirituality or self esteem, too much free time, or something that has no conceivable connection but always comes before. What happens at that point when we go from no desire, interest or at least no thought of giving in, to the first hints of weakness, before you would think of giving in?

Re: Tried Many Methods- Nothing Sticks 04 Nov 2021 13:06 #373899

  • medly1234
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Hey. 
I think you are touching on a very great point.  What I find by me is every time that I see something online or in the street and in my head I tell myself I hope I don’t fall to this that a just saw I end up falling bc I made room for myself to fall by saying I might fall but I hope I don’t.But every time I have the attitude of so what I’m not gonna fall just because I saw such and such and it triggered a reaction in my mind to think about the inyan for even a few minutes I won’t fall because I don’t give my self a option to fall in my mind 
 To sum it up i think it’s about the attitude of how you react and give your self an option of falling you will fall but if you don’t even give yourself the option instead you tell yourself I won’t fall because of this then move on that should really help


ps when I see something and give myself an option I usually fall hours later I rarely fall right away bc I’m the back of my mind I enabled my self to fall I hope it’s not to much to read and srry about the no grammar  

Re: Tried Many Methods- Nothing Sticks 05 Nov 2021 01:20 #373930

  • boruch24
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Your asking a question that no one can say they know for sure what the answer is but I do have a suggestion.
​After working myself with an extremely professional therapist who is very well versed in this area I learned something.

All addictions no matter the shape or form were adopted by the person using them to cover over some sort of pain. This could be any form of abuse like emotional, physical, sexual, and intellectual, or this could be some sort of trauma with its many categories. 
          The point is that we have adopted this addiction to cover over or deal with that pain.
Therefore, the only way to truly get past the struggle is to go back to that pain, heal it and learn new ways to cope with life. However, this is a very hard process that needs to be done with a professional therapist that is trained in this area.

Re: Tried Many Methods- Nothing Sticks 05 Nov 2021 02:37 #373935

  • Markz
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Boruch24 wrote on 05 Nov 2021 01:20:
Your asking a question that no one can say they know for sure what the answer is but I do have a suggestion.
​After working myself with an extremely professional therapist who is very well versed in this area I learned something.

All addictions no matter the shape or form were adopted by the person using them to cover over some sort of pain. This could be any form of abuse like emotional, physical, sexual, and intellectual, or this could be some sort of trauma with its many categories. 
          The point is that we have adopted this addiction to cover over or deal with that pain.
Therefore, the only way to truly get past the struggle is to go back to that pain, heal it and learn new ways to cope with life. However, this is a very hard process that needs to be done with a professional therapist that is trained in this area.

Nice postI must commend you for doing the good work that you are doing!

It may be true regarding all addictions, however when it comes to Porn and Masturbation, it’s not clear at all that it would always be considered ‘addiction’ per se.
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Re: Tried Many Methods- Nothing Sticks 05 Nov 2021 09:01 #373944

  • MBJ
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Humans are very smart and very adaptable. No trick will work forever, either we find a way around it or we become desensitized to it. 

The real way is to change your attitude not your methods.
My Story
Only when we make our real lives sweeter than our fantasies will we reap the emotional rewards, the happiness of recovery. - AlexEliezer
Focus on making the right choices as they come up. - Skeptical
When I start to literally accept G-d's Will as guiding my life today, things start to change. - Dov

Re: Tried Many Methods- Nothing Sticks 05 Nov 2021 10:23 #373949

Attitude can be changed. However in some cases the patient subconsciously doesn't really want to change, and doesn't even know it. Addicted people do so poorly in therapy because at the end of the day they want to keep the addiction around because it feels good when they act out. All the gyrations they do do to stop are b.s.

Re: Tried Many Methods- Nothing Sticks 11 Nov 2021 23:14 #374207

  • polar bear
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Hey, I have this issue as well.

Whatever I throw at my Yetzer Hora becomes route over time.​ So I'm constantly trying to amp up the different things I throw at my Yetzer Hora. When one thing stops working, I try to reevaluate why whatever I'm doing now is not working anymore and what I can do to shake things up.

It is a constant battle. I wish I can wake up one morning to discover that it all went away and that's it. But apparently that's not the case. And to my knowledge it may never go away completely, so I have to keep on fighting, and I have to adapt constantly.

Hope this helps.

Re: Tried Many Methods- Nothing Sticks 29 Dec 2021 05:47 #375362

  • 613guard
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easypeasymethod.org/easypeasy.pdf
its exactly what you want to change the outlook in your mind and soul that you dont want this
try it
worse comes to worse you will have read a book that will open your mind a little about what happens every time you watch
RIDE THE WAVES.
Keep Fighting because thats why you're alive! 
Never ever give up no matter how many times you fall.
If you are about to fall call someone for chizuk.
DON'T FALL,CALL.

Check out easypeasymethod.org

My thread
https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/375231-looking-for-chizuk
Last Edit: 29 Dec 2021 17:18 by 613guard.
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