Hey fellas, Im pretty new here. While Ive visited this site for years, if a bit sporadically, it was just recently that ive decided to actually try and help myself forreal. its been a bunch of days later and BH Im doing very well, gotten myself a mentor, and things are really looking up for me. I have to say its been a different life not feeling sorta owned by an outside force. point of the matter is though, with the Help of Hashem I will be getting married this week (hence the recent seeking help). And even though Ive got an awesome mentor, I feel like after going through so much of the material posted on GYE, Im kinda hoping some of the esteemed members on the forum will have some words of wisdom for me how to keep my head in the right place, and just any overall advice or marriage tips for someone whose been in places weve all been. Thank you in advance.

I am not mentor to give you tips but I can wish you a hearty Mazel Tov!!!

From being here a while and reading a lot I can tell you that your very lucky that you are facing this before marriage.

Hatzlacha Raba!!!

Mazel Tov! I am so happy for you! May you be zoche to build a bayis neeman byisrael lshem ulsifares! Not everyones story is the same and there is no one size fits all. What is your trigger? If its porn, are you working or learning? Why do you need an internet device? (Aside from being on this wonderful place)

Mazel Tov!!!!! It should be a Binyan Adei Ad.

My only advice to you at this moment is to keep on posting and sharing, and growing together with us.

Welcome, Mazal Tov!

Patience! I wish I heard this when I got married. No need to rush. To get everything out, all your stories, thoughts, opinions etc. To convince her of your way. To understand her. (This is a big one. It can take years, and then she changes) To do things together that you're dreaming or fantasizing about. Take your time. Take it easy. Don't pressure her. Don't pressure yourself.

Keep in touch with your mentor so you can discuss things when they come up. 

Be flexible. 

Enjoy the wedding. Don't miss it by being too busy with all the details. 

Love. Appreciation. Affection. Attention.

Wow!! Mazel tov!
As a single I rlly admire your effort and where you have reached.
​It so so important to work on this from before marriage judging by the stories people go thru being married.

Numberonepiece ofadvice would be to call up HHM and get a chosson schmooze from him. 

chosemyshem wrote on 01 Sep 2025 12:37:

Since your talking to a mentor maybe he can help you, although HHM is a great and important call. The affects of porn and society in general so detrimentally affect our view on women, we all need some proper rewiring.

But the main advice I could give is DANCE AWAY! Mazel Tov!!!!!

מזל טוב!!
תזקה לבנות בית נאמן בישראל 

just stay with us and keep them momentum going even after you get married

That sounds like a plan how would i get in touch with HHM I feel like I should know this but Im unawares as how to get his number or contact info

Michaelgelner@gmail.com

hashemisonmyside wrote on 01 Sep 2025 19:08:

michelgelner@gmail.com