Dear Thompson,



I'm not here to take you on a guilt trip or to judge you. What you did yesterday was unfortunate. You tried escaping the discomfort, but it hurt you, and you know it.



 You lost your equilibrium because of that memory, and in a moment of desperation, you decided that the fastest way to get out of the storm of it was by watching it. I understand the rationale. But as we advance, let's remember that a) it didn't work - four hours later, you watched porn again, and b) it's better to ride out the discomfort of an unwanted porn scene hijacking your brain than to feel like a dump for the next day.



With love and compassion,

Thompson (the father version).This is super powerful, Thompson.



For all those that didn't take heed of this line - it has been useful to many I've spoken to. Many of us succumb to triggers/pressures/lures to fall because it's the fastest way to be rid of the uncomfortable feeling of being triggered. If we'd adopt a mentality of acceptance, where we understand that we're triggered and are ok with it,  we'd be able to stay strong and not succumb. After all, we're humans and normal humans get triggered.... Accepting it and being ok with it can be super helpful in not acting out.....



בהוקרה רבה

מאטיל

I'm grateful that the weekend was better than I anticipated (yes, I know it's wensday [sic], I'm still grateful).
I'm grateful that I haven't watched porn for a week.
I'm grateful that I started meditating again.

If this made you think that life is pleasant and delightful or that I've become enlightened, it isn't, and I haven't.
I still have enough problems to keep me miserable till kingdom come, but I'm trying to focus on the ceiling tiles that aren't missing.
Maybe if I do this long enough, I won't feel the need to add this disclaimer (which I just realized is longer than the first part).

I'm grateful that I have the energy to focus on the tiles I have.

HakadosBaruchHuSpeed

BTW Wed. is already the start for the weekend, so if the weekends make you feel better you can make the whole week into the weekend, as till Wed is the last week and from Wed is already the weekend... just an idea to Farmish the YH

hashemisonmyside wrote on 23 Jul 2025 18:15:

Judging by my state of farmishedness, I know who I might be.
Wow, what a plot twist.

thompson wrote on 23 Jul 2025 14:42:

A week clean and back to meditating - that's real progress, my friend.

I love the ceiling tiles metaphor. You're right that focusing on what's NOT broken doesn't magically fix everything else, but it's a much better place to build from than staring at all the holes.

The fact that you have energy to even notice the good tiles? That's huge. Depression and this struggle both love to make us blind to anything positive.

Keep counting those tiles. The disclaimer will get shorter as the gratitude gets louder.

Proud of you for the week clean.