Hi this is my first post. I'm planning  to share my story  eventually levayla I'm just looking to get some Chizik and see who's out here, share our struggles. Im blown away by what iv seen here on gye and i already feel stronger by seeing everybody else's story's and it gave me tremendous chizuk. lets be in touch!!

Welcome aboard. Can't wait to hear more about yourself. Share a bit and you will have a lot of nice people reach out to offer help.

Hatzlacha in the battle!

#GYEWillNotBeOzevYou!

Hi and welcome!!
This is indeed the most amazing place where so many special Yidden have found help and see some light in this dark and filthy world!
Looking forward to hearing more about your journey & struggles when you're ready...
We're in this together!!

חזק ואמץ,
UpAndDown

My dear brother!
Welcome to the warmest family in the world!

Here you will find true care, concern, and warmth.
Here you will learn that you CAN break free!
There are many tools here to help you in this fight.
There is the F2F Program, the Vaad Program (click here for an explanation of what the vaad is), and the book The Battle of the Generation - many have found this very helpful in reframing the struggle.


There is also an extremely powerful tool of accountability, friends, and mentors, as has been mentioned, that has helped hundreds - myself included.
HHM - Hashem Help Me - is the mentor-in-chief around here. He's reachable at michelgelner@gmail.com.
Some of the other great guys here are Eerie - 1gimpelovitz@gmail.com, Muttel - muttel15@gmail.com,   Reb Akiva - mevakesh247@gmail.com iwantlife - iwantlifegye@proton.me

Keep posting, you'll see, the oilam is here for you.

Looking forward to seeing great things from you!
And don't forget, as always, KOMT!!

Thanks everybody for the warm response. bh just passed tremendous nisayon. don't think i could have done it alone just the fact that i know there's other people that care about my struggles really makes it possible THANK YOU 

Reb yid

Welcome 

Looking forward to being with you on your journey. 
May Hashem bless you with all the brachos in the Torah for making this big step and working on yourself. 

Hatzlacha 

Wow I'm getting so emotional reading everybody's threads. Its so helpful to realize that im not alone and not unique in my story and anybody who has a gye account has their own story and as much as we think were alone  our similarities are much more noticeable then our differences. As per the encouragement from @minhamayim  I'm going to start being consistent about my own journey #1 to get chizik and encouragement from the oilom and most importantly to help myself get out all the feelings and pain iv suffered from mainly due to the guilt shame fear and double life syndrome that i think a lot of us have. and to learn to be  open and okay with myself not withstanding the terrible avayrois that iv done.   

So bh were still going strong. Just curious to hear the oiloms opinion on this idea. Last night I had a crazy urge to go back to places that I was nichshal in. I went but wasn't nichshal, could it be they considering most of the tayvas is before the avaira so I wanted they rush of dopamine and was able to stay strong or I really wanted the aveira but held back.?

lamaazavtuni wrote on 23 Jan 2025 20:43:

A little bit unclear what kind of place you are referring to. Do you mean a neutral place, like you went to idk a store and nothing happened. Or do you mean you like went to a massage parlor but didn't get the service?

Generally, I'd say endorse yourself 100% for not giving in to the aveirah. Huge win! Keep in mind it's best to stay far away from a nisayon, and try to make that your goal for next time.

My answer might change depending on how you answer the question though.

THIS IS SO HARD ..did not realize just how over consuming this fight was going to be. In a way I feel like it was better when I fell, like that I felt bad a little and ashamed but was then able to be mechazik myself and move on. Now I feel like I'm in a life consuming hole that I'm forcing myself in to which hopefully when I'm strong enough to get out and face the world  I'll actually be able to. But right now life's literally revolving around posting on gye ,reading other threads, speaking to people who I came in contact to from here(btw it's literally the only way to be matsliach so dont let yourself be fooled by the YH and reach out to ppl ) and managing life/kids. All the while making sure my wife doesn't realize anything is amis.    I feel like it's an hourly fight with the urges coming so quickly and unexpectedly after feeling so strong the strongest i everfelt in my life but then in just a few min Im back to square one panting blood rushing to my face shaking... ( the only people who chop what I'm describing are you guys) and then speaking to someone or being forced to take care of something and calming down only to randomly start a few hours later.  Help I'm crying I don't want to fail   hashem please.

Crying for you friend. We feel your pain! That said, I promise you it's hardest in the beginning, like all things. IYH, you'll replace those deep bad habits with healthy ones; the urges will be less scary. YOU GOT THIS!! Don't give up on yourself, we're definitely not giving up on you.

With love,
iwantlife

Just saw this thread!
Welcome! You are in the best of company.!

Some people report that it get easier over time. I personally can very much feel what you are saying. The urges can sometimes feel overpowering. But you seem to have good grasp on what to do. Reach out to the chevra.

Another that has helped me is telling my brain "I do not do these things anymore" I actually spent time talking to myself just repeating those words. It did not make the urges any less but it did make make it more like a non option.

It is extremely hard nisoyon but being in the fight itself is extremely valuable to hashem!
Take pride in what you are doing and that can motivate you to keep going!

Please keep in touch!
You can do it!!

You guys are the best really!!!

lamaazavtuni wrote on 24 Jan 2025 04:09:

Welcome aboard dear brother, first time I'm seeing this thread, and yes you have come to the greatest place in the world a place of warmth, and hope.

I feel for you brother, and I can totally relate to that feeling that I bolded, of it's better to fall that way I feel bad and just move on, I've been there done that, BUT eventually came to the realization that it might very well be one of his majesty YH'S tactics, because after falling when you feel bad, you're just moving on because you're running away from that ugly resentful feeling of guilt, {not regret which is a positive feeling just guilt which is a negative feeling of self hatred והמבין יבין} but eventually that ugly self loathing feeling fades away, which is when the very strong feeling of lust/desire kicks back in, than it's only a matter of weighing the pros and cons until the next fall comes again.    

I hope my point is written clearly, I'm not the best writer, I actually just posted this exact nekuda on a much more דקות'דיג אופן on my thread, but I hope you understand what I'm saying...

Really feeling for ya, KOMT
With love Akiva

Lol reb akiva as I spent the last few min reading your thread  I guess you spent them reading mine. I got tremendous chizik from your story/struggle.       Ish es rayahu yazoiru!!