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TOPIC: Striving for kedusha 456 Views

Re: Striving for kedusha 19 Jan 2025 20:44 #429503

  • cleanmendy
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I think by now youve gotten the gist of it , everyone agrees you should reach out to eerie or hhm. Its worth it itll change your life

Re: Striving for kedusha 20 Jan 2025 21:07 #429637

It was bound to happen, I just didn’t think it would happen so fast. I was working on shmiras eynayim and avoiding triggers. But my guard was down and I fell.
Most important thing is not to become meyuash. Ki nafalti kamti. Trump bounced  back and so will I. 
Since my last post, I’ve received chizuk from others who claim to have been in my position when they were my age, and managed to stay pure against the odds. Truth be told there’s been a yeridas hadoros, so things are harder today; the nisyonos are harder and we are weaker.  But I have people to reach out to while my   Partner request is pending. 
On a brighter note, I received as a gift the sichas mussar of rav chaim shmuelevitz. The clarity in writing and my ability to connect with his machshavos is fabulous. He has maamar on nefila and yiush.

Tomorrow I have an appointment which will take me out of the confines of the yeshiva to Ervas haaretz. I’m definitely in a weak position and hope I’ll withstand the temptations. 

Have to get to Seder. Time to climb back up. 

Re: Striving for kedusha 21 Jan 2025 03:24 #429666

  • iseenoevil
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Learning how to walk will involve the inevitable fall. You’ve just started out on your program. The chevra have been here for a long time; ups and downs. Nothing will happen over night. Besides for posting, reach out  and connect live with someone. Maybe together you can work on a plan that will keep you on an even keel. Rest assured that with the support offered here, you can win the battle.It will take time, but stick with it. 

Re: Striving for kedusha 21 Jan 2025 14:25 #429697

iseenoevil wrote on 14 Jan 2025 13:18:
Before I got married I was in the same matzav. I spoke to the mashgiach who was very receptive and understanding.

He encouraged me to join a vaad of other bachurim who were in a similar situation. At first I was reluctant because I didn’t want others to know I was being nichshal. But with his repeated suggestions , I joined. 

All discussions in the vaad are confidential. It was a group of 5 bachurim,  including ones considered very chashuv. I found others that I could open up to and get guidance and support. We met on a weekly basis.

Over time it was very helpful in dealing with the urges. Admittedly, the problem didn’t go away, but I had a support network. 

Maybe you could join a vaad. You’ll find a chevra who are also faced with this nisayon. I do not know if the problem is as extensive as you contend, but there are others going through the same.

I’ve asked around but it doesn’t appear that there is any vaad in my yeshiva to join. In fact I may be the only bachur in my yeshiva that is dealing with this inyan. So while I understand where you are coming from, it doesn’t appear to be nogea to me. Best mehalech I can see is having a kesher with someone via this forum. 

Re: Striving for kedusha 21 Jan 2025 14:39 #429700

  • BenHashemBH
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seekingkedusha1 wrote on 21 Jan 2025 14:25:

iseenoevil wrote on 14 Jan 2025 13:18:
Before I got married I was in the same matzav. I spoke to the mashgiach who was very receptive and understanding.

He encouraged me to join a vaad of other bachurim who were in a similar situation. At first I was reluctant because I didn’t want others to know I was being nichshal. But with his repeated suggestions , I joined. 

All discussions in the vaad are confidential. It was a group of 5 bachurim,  including ones considered very chashuv. I found others that I could open up to and get guidance and support. We met on a weekly basis.

Over time it was very helpful in dealing with the urges. Admittedly, the problem didn’t go away, but I had a support network. 

Maybe you could join a vaad. You’ll find a chevra who are also faced with this nisayon. I do not know if the problem is as extensive as you contend, but there are others going through the same.

I’ve asked around but it doesn’t appear that there is any vaad in my yeshiva to join. In fact I may be the only bachur in my yeshiva that is dealing with this inyan. So while I understand where you are coming from, it doesn’t appear to be nogea to me. Best mehalech I can see is having a kesher with someone via this forum. 

Shalom Brother,
Unlikely that you are the only one struggling, but that's another matter. I'd imagine such a vaad for bachurim is rare. Definitely connecting with some good people here that you relate to would be a good place to start. Might also be a good idea to get in touch with one (or more) of the great mentors here.

HHM - Hashem Help Me is the chief mentor, reachable at michelgelner@gmail.com.
Some of the other great guys here are Eerie - 1gimpelovitz@gmail.com, ChaimOigen – chaim.oigen@gmail.com, Muttel - muttel15@gmail.com, Iwannalivereal iwannalivereal@gmail.com, Vehkam vehkam7@gmail.com, Amevakesh amevakesh23@gmail.com, ProudYungerman proudyungerman@gmail.com, Iwantlife - iwantlifegye@proton.me, and I’m sorry that there are surely others I’ve left out.

hatzlacha and kol tov
Today is yesterday's tomorrow.
The yetzarim a person has the most trouble dealing with are his most powerful God-given tools for developing his potential and achieving shleimus.
It doesn't matter how big the number is, only that today it is going up by one.

A little about what I'm doing here: guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/412971-I-Want-to-Help-Others

Re: Striving for kedusha 21 Jan 2025 15:10 #429708

seekingkedusha1 wrote on 21 Jan 2025 14:25:

iseenoevil wrote on 14 Jan 2025 13:18:
Before I got married I was in the same matzav. I spoke to the mashgiach who was very receptive and understanding.

He encouraged me to join a vaad of other bachurim who were in a similar situation. At first I was reluctant because I didn’t want others to know I was being nichshal. But with his repeated suggestions , I joined. 

All discussions in the vaad are confidential. It was a group of 5 bachurim,  including ones considered very chashuv. I found others that I could open up to and get guidance and support. We met on a weekly basis.

Over time it was very helpful in dealing with the urges. Admittedly, the problem didn’t go away, but I had a support network. 

Maybe you could join a vaad. You’ll find a chevra who are also faced with this nisayon. I do not know if the problem is as extensive as you contend, but there are others going through the same.

I’ve asked around but it doesn’t appear that there is any vaad in my yeshiva to join. In fact I may be the only bachur in my yeshiva that is dealing with this inyan. So while I understand where you are coming from, it doesn’t appear to be nogea to me. Best mehalech I can see is having a kesher with someone via this forum. 

Did I hear someone say vaad? R' Seeking why don't you hit that link in my signature and join the GYE vaad. 
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!


Totally of jealous of the in person yeshiva vaad though. Sounds amazing.

Re: Striving for kedusha 21 Jan 2025 16:59 #429716

  • boardg
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seekingkedusha1 wrote on 20 Jan 2025 21:07:
Trump bounced  back and so will I.

Great emesdike line. we should make this the theme of GYE this week

Re: Striving for kedusha 21 Jan 2025 18:27 #429736

iyh50 wrote on 14 Jan 2025 00:46:
Hi seekingkedusha1! I don't often post, but I couldn't resist responding to yours!
I am a Bochur in yeshiva, and 20 years old. I'm not sure about the 'getting triggered easily' part, but I can say that I've been "Around the Block" with this inyan. I've been clean for a while now, and I can testify that it is one hundred percent possible. The best part is, that not only is it possible, but last year's Esa Einai project played a major role in my journey. You have definitely come to the right place, and with some help and a bit of work you'll be on your way to a brighter and fulfilling future. Feel free to reach out if you want to schmooze, my email is iyhashem50@gmail.com.
Looking forward to hearing from you! Hatzlacha Rabbah!

This is amazing chizuk.I’ve already fallen since starting the program so I am a bit frustrated. But your success testimonial provides me with additional vigor to carry on and see this thing through.Just got done learning in בעין טובה.

So while in my opinion this subject should have been  discussed by Rabeyim in mesivta, there’s no point in crying over spilled milk. Clearly it’s much harder now, but this is something worth pursuing. Yashar Koach for your kind words, and best wishes for keeping the kedusha. 

Re: Striving for kedusha 22 Jan 2025 00:22 #429775

seekingkedusha1 wrote on 20 Jan 2025 21:07:
It was bound to happen, I just didn’t think it would happen so fast. I was working on shmiras eynayim and avoiding triggers. But my guard was down and I fell.
Most important thing is not to become meyuash. Ki nafalti kamti. Trump bounced  back and so will I. 
Since my last post, I’ve received chizuk from others who claim to have been in my position when they were my age, and managed to stay pure against the odds. Truth be told there’s been a yeridas hadoros, so things are harder today; the nisyonos are harder and we are weaker.  But I have people to reach out to while my   Partner request is pending. 
On a brighter note, I received as a gift the sichas mussar of rav chaim shmuelevitz. The clarity in writing and my ability to connect with his machshavos is fabulous. He has maamar on nefila and yiush.

Tomorrow I have an appointment which will take me out of the confines of the yeshiva to Ervas haaretz. I’m definitely in a weak position and hope I’ll withstand the temptations. 

Have to get to Seder. Time to climb back up. 

B”H got through without any triggers. Thanks for all your support. It would not have been shayach without it. Now I have to continue on the road to success. There’s light at the end of the tunnel. 
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