I was not saying this in a degrading way.. i was speaking the strugglers perspective.
there is a gemara in shabbos that says a woman is just a bag of flesh and blood. The point of that Gemara Isn't to put down women.. the point is a good visualization for a man fo shmiras einayim.
These women are good people.. im just speaking from shmiras einayim perspective. While i do think some of them are overly provocative... 

movingforward22 wrote on 01 May 2023 22:39:

Here’s some food for fought (intended misspell)

Would you have written that about your mother?
Does it truly help get clean from porn (90 days+) with the flesh and blood perspective?

WHen in the moment, then i cna see it. If the yetzer hara makes you think theyre nothing more thna their clothes, then see something bad in those clothes. Just  know that neither that view or the yetzer haras view are real. As for what to think not in the moment, obviously just people. But I've seen people say worse about small unintended rudenesses like standing in the way

On the other hand, dont assume negative motivations into other peoples actions when innocence or even nonthinking is a possible cause. too much of that in the world. And i speak as someone who has put bad intentions into other peoples actions too many times. Usually its nothing meant. In all these cases.

retrych wrote on 02 May 2023 16:46:

That was what I was trying to point out 

A looong slip or several falls?

 Should probably reset my counter. Phew, I’m finally human. 

lots of stuff

 does it start when I began skipping daily ADHD medicine doses? A lack of compulsively causing me to not use the compulsivity controlling medicine?

when I discovered the unfiltered pc I can access remotely from home? 

smoking the first joint? 

when my wife gets a notification from the dealer bc my Google account is on her work phone? 

when I start burning bridges?

 Why am I doing it? Why did I do it?

 So if I’m not pill-ed up bc of a bad decision I turn into Mr. Hyde?

 Until when G-d? 

late mortgage? sick baby? bike & car booth breaking down?

 What is the point of these tests I just feel further away than ever before

Your honesty is the first step in getting it back together.  And it is advisable to only experiment with these medications under the direction of the prescribing doctor.  You have shown tremendous growth and stamina. With Hashem's help and some wise decisions, you can get right back toi where you were - just figure out what the first loose stone on the path was and cement it into place buddy.

Hi I Love,
Your questions is a very tough one! It hurts me thinking of you in that situation. 
We all have these questions sometimes, but let me share something that Rabbi Nachmen ztz"l says.
When a person starts climbing out of his hole and wants to become closer to Hashem, at first he will be shown great stuff and he will feel lots of spiritual pleasures, but that will soon end..... he might feel like hes being shuned and Hashem isnt listening, and hes even worse then when he started, he will go thru all kinds of pain and sufferings in his mind, the only thing he needs to do is to hold on!!! even if he cant concentrate one word while praying, jus keep praying just say the words, believing that Hashem is everywhere and therefore whichever level he might find himself, he needs to know that Hashem is there as well! There is not place that he devoid of Hashem! 

Its hard, really hard. But we gotta hold on. There is no other option. 
Of course you should talk with your doctor about adjusting your meds if possible. But overall, know that Hashem still loves you and hears and sees and understands everything. Every fight you dont give up on fixes immeasurable things from your past! HANG ON TIGHT!

Thank you for the chizuk!

I know He’s there, I was almost yelling at Him at how I’m annoyed at Him

iLoveHashem247 wrote on 15 May 2023 23:40:

My friend (sorry if its awkward, I just feel like common cause makes us friends), you reminded me of one of my favorite Emuna stories. It was about a Jew who suffered through the Holocaust and was so angry at God he wanted nothing to do with Him. He lived in America and sent his children to public school. The only God-education they got was that there is no God. One day in December his kid came home from school singing Christmas carols he had learned from his friends, and his father was furious. This heilege Yid, red in the face yelled for his son and the whole velt to hear, ס'איז דא אין דער וועלט נאר איין גאט!!!, and He is the One we don't believe in.

Great story, I use Google translate for that one.

I feel like a child who is yelling at his parent that he hates them, and then runs away, looking over his shoulder, waiting for the parent to run after him. 

אָנָה אֵלֵךְ מֵרוּחֶךָ אָנָה מִפָּנֶיךָ אֶבְרַח 
אֶבְרַח מִמְּךָ אֵלֶיךָ וּבְצֵל יָדְךָ אָגִיל אֶפְרַח

iLoveHashem247 wrote on 16 May 2023 12:08:

There is a famous story about the Holocaust in one of the Ghettos, one day they rounded up all the children and took them away.... soon afterwards, you could see windows opening and people started throwing out their religious items, sfarim, tfilin, etc. Someone mentioned this to a Tzaddik that was there, how horrible it was that everyone is losing faith!. So the Rabbi said "Not at all, they know that Hashem is in charge, they are just upset at Him!, Better then to believe that there is someone but Him! 

This is at the core of it, if we think we get to chose our life and path, we will be upset at everyone, First at ourselves for failing to achieve what w NEED to achieve, then at others for standing in my way, then at Hashem for not listening to us when we ask for something.  
We can be stuck for eternity in this cycle, the only way out is to realize that WE ARE NOT IN CHARGE OF ANYTHING! We are vessels that Hashem uses as He sees fit, of course He loves us and does everything for the ultimate good, but we dont need to understand it or see it. 
This is the biggest challenge today, I believe even bigger then Lust. If you look deep you will see that we are all severely malnourished in Bitochen, we dont know how to let go and trust someone else even Hashem! 
Remember, Nothing good comes easy and that's a fact!

chancy wrote on 16 May 2023 18:28:


Al derech what the rov is saying (or maybe farkert) there is torah that amalek stands for kefira in humanity. Says everything is bidei shamayim, even yiras shamayim. Yiddishkeit says no, emuna in the eibeshter is not enough, you have to have emuna in zich. Timche es zecher amalek!

chancy wrote on 16 May 2023 18:28: