jackthejew wrote on 07 Oct 2022 09:36:

I don't think you fully understood my question. I do indeed work on not speaking Loshon Hora and on trying to think about Hashem. On Yom Kippur I was full of remorse for having failed to use my mouth propeolr etc, and I promised to try harder. In the area of Pegam Habris however, I couldn't honestly tell myself that I would change because I don't believe that I really have much to do about it. Therefore I can't really regret something that I'm not doing anything to change (because I don't believe that I can, assuming its an illness.) Have I clarified my question?

Goldfish wrote on 07 Oct 2022 13:13:

i would suggest that it is not your job to "guarantee" change.  your job may be to keep trying....

Haven't posted in ages and probably won't again for some time. Quite depressed. Wanted to pose a question. My Mashgiach, who is widely acclaimed and very qualified, thinks that I shouldn't think too much into my problem, trying to annalyze them. I should just live life and have some falls and some good times without trying to use my intelligent mind to annalyze everything. What are your thoughts? Thanks.

Goldfish wrote on 04 Jan 2023 14:32:

I'm sorry to hear that you're depressed. I hope things become better for you and Hashem should help you be happy and satisfied. 
הרופא לשבורי לב ומחבש לעצבותם

The way I understand your Mashgiach is that usually, if a person is faced with a challenge, the strategy to overcome it is by working hard to get it under control. However, in this area, such a strategy does not always work. In fact, the opposite is true: When a person tries to control a thought, he is essentially bringing to mind the very topic that he was trying to rid himself of, which causes his mind to explore it further. For example, if someone tells himself not to think about an elephant, then just mentioning those words will bring the image of an elephant to mind. This idea holds true both with regards to inappropriate thoughts, as well as improper sights. A person should always remember the Golden Rule: Any time you think about not thinking or seeing it, then “it” is already in your mind.

How, then, should one deal with inappropriate thoughts and sights? They should be treated as if they are a bag of garbage, waiting for the garbage collector to come. Just as you wouldn’t open the garbage bag to investigate if there’s something good there, so, too, a person should work on himself to consider these thoughts and sights as if they are nothing and just continue on his way. The focus should be to continue on with ‘business as usual’ without even analyzing what just happened.

Hi, my friend. I'm so sorry for your pain. May Hashem give you strength and clarity. When you have a mashgiach that you say is highly qualified, and he knows you, he knows your situation, he knows the difficulties you face, take what he tells you to the bank. There is much that subjectivity doesn't allow us to see, follow his advice to the t. Hatzlacha in all that you do! Keep trucking!

Goldfish wrote on 04 Jan 2023 14:32:

I hear. 
What did he suggest for treating your depression?

Goldfish wrote on 04 Jan 2023 14:32:

My opinion is, so long as you are making progress on the depression, that is what Hashem wants from you now, and there is no reason to fret and feel guilty over your falls.