Hi everyone I’ve been on and off with GYE for like 7 years.
I’ve been struggling since 12 years old. 
early teenage years messed around a bunch till like 19-20
However I was really strong in the years before I got married and for the first few years after as well then slowly I started to surf on the web for illicit material and sometimes I got my hands on a device with a way around the filter and over the last year and a half it has been a real struggle with a lot of ups and downs.
today I just had a huge fail again. 
feeling so depressed, like never going to overcome this... 
sorry for the downer

vhaereiny wrote on 09 Mar 2021 04:29:

Hi!
Your story sounds so familiar...
Never be depressed about this. Hashem gave us this nisayon by force, its not your fault. You just have to keep on fighting, without nesasarly winning... You definitely can overcome this, just need the right tools.
Keep on posting, that helped me very much.
Hatzlacha!

Welcome back! 

It is definitely tough to keep falling & feel like you can't dig yourself out. But there is hope! So many guys came in here feeling that way and are now over 100 days clean.
Please stick around this time, get inspired & inspire others.

Hatzlacha! 
Anothershot 

Welcome back!

Like happyyid said everything Hashem does is for a reason and there is a reason that we were placed in this generation with extreme amounts of taiva. By pushing through and fighting we can become greater people than we could have otherwise without the struggle (Even though i'm only 36 days in I already find that I have gained much discipline which I can apply to other aspects of my life, and other things as well). 

Wishing you much Hatzlocha!

welcome, you can do it!! stay and continue posting. Hatzlaja!!

Welcome Vhaereiny!

Beware, that's what the government  yetzer hara wants you to think!

Reb Shimshon Pincus zt”l said that the nisayon of shmiras einayim before Moshiach comes will be so intense, that every time someone is able to control his eyes, it will bring the geulah. In the past 100 years, the time it has taken to access and watch something profane has been decimated due to the internet and mobile devices. So every time a person is able to control what he uses his phone for, it is a tremendous schar to Hakodesh Boruch Hu. Says Reb Shimshon Pincus, “In our generation, we seem so small compared to the gedolim of our past like Rashi or the Chofetz Chaim. However, we are able to look up at them and say ‘Heiligeh gedolim, the generation that you lived in did not have the tests that we have today.’” Now the tests Reb Pincus were referring to were things like television and radios; how much more so is his statement true now that we have internet and cell phones? Every time a person is able to overcome his temptation to waste time on the internet or his phone, he becomes a gibor- a warrior of Hashem.

Wishing you only hatzlocha with overcoming this!

Thank you guys for all the Chizuk and the replies.
im gonna take you up on trying to post my journey to getting clean.
so today is day 3 and I woke up so edgy and irritable and everything is triggering.
does anyone find that day 3 has these kind of withdrawal symptoms?

vhaereiny wrote on 11 Mar 2021 19:34:

its normal to feel weak after a few clean days. Most people go thru this stage.

The ones that realize what's behind this, stay strong an the others fall back and then start the same cycle again.

The reason is that the initial emotional excitement wares off ... now its an intellectual struggle.
The good thing is that when you get over this bump, and you stay strong not because of feelings but because you know what's important and you want in life, things really start falling into place - big time!


For now, please know that there is nothing wrong with you, you're normal and you're actually doing great. Many people disappear for the system at this point and the fact the you reached out for help shows that you're serious about this and you'll get over the bump with Hashems help.

Let's daven together that we should be able to do the ratzon Hashem and we should be happy and have a true fulfilling life with the REAL enjoyments.