I was asked to be the shliach tzibbur in my shul for R"H mussaf. How can I, someone who has been steeped in shmutz for so many years, possibly agree to lead the davening????
I have no desire to be the chazza, but it might be a case of "bmakom she'ain ish."
How should I handle such a situation??

This is ridiculous
Who says you’re a good candidate?

So step one is either to upload a small audio clip right here so we can give our approval, or PM me for my phone# and we will take it from there.

Because you're striving 2 b clean. That's good enough for me. Especially if you're also trying and putting in real effort.

striving2bclean wrote on 13 Aug 2020 21:04:

Hineni heuni mimaas... 

LAst year the Rabbi of my shul asked me to daven Shachris 5 minutes before the davening started. I had just had an episode 2 months before rosh Hashana, I reached 90 days on Hoshana Rabba. 
Now let me tell you when I came to Hamelech right before yishtabach my neshama almost flew out. I realized right there, that melech is 90. I knew that if i reached 90 all would be fine.
Listen, if you are not sure if you are holding there, then just cry the whole way through.
There was a story of the Baal shemtov, that he asked one of his talmidim to blow the shofar on rosh Hashana. this talmid learned all the kavanos and all the kabalistic terms on the shofar. He wrote it all down, but when it came rosh hashana morning the paper was missing. He went crazy, how could he blow without his paper. Well it came time for the shofar and he just cried his way through the whole thing. The baal shemtov told him that the cries were better then all his kavanos that he prepared. We are reaching Elul in one week iyh the king is in the field and it is never to late. The MELECH is in the field.
Lets all make a resolution to try to reach 90 days. 
Every day for me is a struggle. I dont live in boropark monsey or lakewood and I struggle daily driving to shul or other errands. GUys lets stay together and stay strong. 
you are all doing great.
dont forget melech is 90. we gotta reach that 90 together.  
Oh and dont forget to wear a mask 

Never said I was a good candidate:grinning:.  But comparatively speaking, I can carry a tune with decent nusach 

Garnt4000, I don't think I have ever felt more heuni mimaas...

If you think you're not worthy then you're worthy. If you think you're worthy, then you're not worthy. The advantage of someone steeped in this situation is that he doesn't think he's worth a dime, whereas a "very frum guy" who doesn't suffer from these issues might think he's worth a thing or two, and that's a, perhaps, much bigger issue IMHO.
I think I heard a very interesting story, kinda similar. A bochur who was studying for Smicha asked his Rov, "But Rebbi, I'm not sure I'm ready to be a Rabbi. I might "usurp" the position, have gaayve etc." The Rebbi told him, if you're concerned about that and you don't think you're ready, then you're ready. My 2 cents...