The message is clear: If a person puts himself in a challenging situation, or even if he strengthens his lusts by constantly giving in and now faces overwhelming battles, he still receives the same reward for struggling to overcome his desires as if it had not been his fault. Although bringing the struggle upon himself adds to the gravity of his earlier mistakes, it does not take away from the greatness of his accomplishments.
The Gemara (Berachos 34b) relates: Rabbi Avahu taught that in the place where ba’alei teshuva (people who have repented) stand, even pure tzaddikim who never sinned cannot stand. This means that pure tzaddikim cannot reach the level of those who have done teshuva. This is hard to understand. Why should a person who never messed up be lower than one who ran after sin and only later repented? A person who never sinned should be far greater than someone who repented!
The Rambam (Hilchos Teshuva 7:4) explains that by sinning, ba’alei teshuva activated their desires and became more susceptible to the pull of sin. Their desires are many times stronger than those of a person who never sinned. For them to win their battles, they must exert much more effort.
People who have gotten caught up in the web of desire face extremely difficult battles. Seemingly innocuous situations awaken their desires, and suddenly they feel, “I want it! I need it! I can’t live without it!” The intensity cannot be fathomed by one who has never faced such desires. It takes much more strength for the ba’alei teshuva to win, and that’s why they are higher than those who never sinned.
In a similar vein, the Tomer Devorah (Chapter 1) answers that because their challenges have become so strong, ba’alei teshuva cannot get by with the safeguards of those who have never sinned. Ba’alei teshuva have already breached those barriers. They are susceptible to urges that others don’t experience, and their desires are more powerful. The safeguards of those who never sinned are not enough to hold them back. They must set up fences that go far beyond those safeguards, and they must be careful to avoid situations that might trigger their desires. This extra effort to implement these safeguards puts the ba’alei teshuva on a higher level than those who never sinned.
At this point, it should be clear that the lower we have fallen, the higher we can reach. We should never be discouraged by where we are holding or think it is too late. We shouldn’t think of ourselves as lowly sinners, doomed to bear our scars and be inferior forever. Rather, we should be excited about our opportunity, because we can reach much higher than those who haven’t fallen and don’t experience the challenges we face. We can become great! Though it takes great effort, if we appreciate our opportunity, we will be excited to succeed.
The posuk in Michah (7:8) says, “My enemies should not rejoice over my fall, because I have risen up. Though I sit in darkness, Hashem is a light for me.” The Midrash (Yalkut Tehillim 247) relates that this posuk contains a secret message: “If I had not fallen, I would not have risen to where I am now. If I did not sit in darkness, Hashem would not have been a light for me.”
Rav Chaim Shmulevitz, zt”l, (Sichos Mussar, 5032 Ma’amar 37) applies this Midrash to our battles against the yetzer hara. After we fall, we can rise to incredible heights that we could never have reached had we not sinned. When we realize how low we have fallen and cry out to Hashem over straying so far from Him, this spurs us on to dramatically change our direction. Quickly, we fly way past where we were before we sinned, and we soar to the greatest heights. We gain strength that we never had before, and we start serving Hashem with emotion and meaning.
Our failures present an opportunity for greatness. They are not obstacles that hold us back, and we must not allow them to. Not only don’t they make us incapable of greatness, they can even become the sparks that bring the most growth. They can spur us on to reach amazing heights that we would never have aspired to had we not fallen so badly. Not only that, the added difficulty of having tasted sin gives us the opportunity to achieve incredible acts of success. This is another way our situation enables us to reach astounding heights! We should not be depressed by where we are. Rather, we should be excited because the lower we have fallen, the higher we can reach!